haha.. ryan's coOl!

BreadnButter 619: alrite i got 1 answer for the hw!
BreadnButter 619: jus 8 more
xX e R inJ hu Le: wow.. good job
xX e R inJ hu Le: haha..
BreadnButter 619: hahah
BreadnButter 619: what about u
xX e R inJ hu Le: i'm like on the homework
xX e R inJ hu Le: i forgot all about that stuff
BreadnButter 619: hahah foreal
BreadnButter 619: i forgot how to do the stuff
xX e R inJ hu Le: yeah.. i haven't done shiet yet this weekend
BreadnButter 619: hahaha i did A GRIP OF SHIT
xX e R inJ hu Le: good job
BreadnButter 619: haha
BreadnButter 619: well arent u gonan tell me ur weekend
xX e R inJ hu Le: church stuff
xX e R inJ hu Le: the usual
BreadnButter 619: its always wit church
xX e R inJ hu Le: yeah.. i know..
BreadnButter 619: watch wen i drive ima kidnap u and show u a good time
xX e R inJ hu Le: haha i guess
BreadnButter 619: i will ;-)
xX e R inJ hu Le: you promise?
BreadnButter 619: i promise
BreadnButter 619: ;-)
xX e R inJ hu Le: ok..
BreadnButter 619: heh *wink wink*
xX e R inJ hu Le: ok.. i guess
BreadnButter 619: dont worry
xX e R inJ hu Le: yeah i know
BreadnButter 619: haha ill even kidnap u in the morning
xX e R inJ hu Le: no.. i needa sleep
BreadnButter 619: ull sleep in my car
BreadnButter 619: hahah
xX e R inJ hu Le: we'll see
BreadnButter 619: haha fosho
BreadnButter 619: whould u ever hook up wit any of those guys in ur church
xX e R inJ hu Le: haha no.. i doubt it
xX e R inJ hu Le: they're like brothers to me
BreadnButter 619: haha
xX e R inJ hu Le: you know what though?
BreadnButter 619: weird brothers no offense
BreadnButter 619: what?
xX e R inJ hu Le: i have a fake ex-husband there
xX e R inJ hu Le: haha
BreadnButter 619: wtf?
BreadnButter 619: who
xX e R inJ hu Le: this one guy
BreadnButter 619: ok ok
BreadnButter 619: what u doin
BreadnButter 619: o great erin
xX e R inJ hu Le: o great erin?
xX e R inJ hu Le: wtf?
xX e R inJ hu Le: where'd that come from?
BreadnButter 619: hah aiono
xX e R inJ hu Le: haha i guess
BreadnButter 619: u kno what?
xX e R inJ hu Le: what?
BreadnButter 619: *************
xX e R inJ hu Le: yeah
xX e R inJ hu Le: what about him?
BreadnButter 619: u promise not to tell
xX e R inJ hu Le: i won't
xX e R inJ hu Le: i promise
BreadnButter 619: I HAVE UR WORD that u wouldnt tell
BreadnButter 619: ************
xX e R inJ hu Le: ferrealz?
BreadnButter 619: i was chillen wit him this morning
BreadnButter 619: yea
BreadnButter 619: i went to his house
BreadnButter 619: crazy huh
xX e R inJ hu Le: you did?
BreadnButter 619: yea
xX e R inJ hu Le: what were you doing there?
BreadnButter 619: chillen
BreadnButter 619: then we went to my pad and played vid games
BreadnButter 619: heh
xX e R inJ hu Le: oicic
BreadnButter 619: do U like him?
xX e R inJ hu Le: why?
BreadnButter 619: im jus askin
xX e R inJ hu Le: i don't know..
BreadnButter 619: i dont kno is a good thing?
xX e R inJ hu Le: i don't know if i wanna like anyone right now.. you know?
xX e R inJ hu Le: i still kinda have yeah.. for yeah.. you know?
BreadnButter 619: yes i kno
BreadnButter 619: do u need a hug
BreadnButter 619: i think u need a hug
xX e R inJ hu Le: i don't know
BreadnButter 619: he
BreadnButter 619: h
BreadnButter 619: u kno what
xX e R inJ hu Le: what?
BreadnButter 619: chicken butt
BreadnButter 619: now u fell for that pass it on to a fren
xX e R inJ hu Le: haha.. you suck
BreadnButter 619: hahah
BreadnButter 619: you suck more
xX e R inJ hu Le: sure why not
xX e R inJ hu Le: if you say so
BreadnButter 619: haha
BreadnButter 619: u give up to easly
BreadnButter 619: u kno that
xX e R inJ hu Le: i do?
xX e R inJ hu Le: if you say so
xX e R inJ hu Le: sure why not
BreadnButter 619: see what i mean
xX e R inJ hu Le: sure.. uh huh..
BreadnButter 619: heh
BreadnButter 619: man u kno u should have more fun in ur life
xX e R inJ hu Le: yeah i should.. huh?
BreadnButter 619: ima take u mini golfing one day
BreadnButter 619: haha yea
xX e R inJ hu Le: i don't do mini golfing
xX e R inJ hu Le: i'm not talented
BreadnButter 619: haha doesnt matter
BreadnButter 619: what about pool?
BreadnButter 619: pool is fun
xX e R inJ hu Le: i'm not talented when it comes to that stuff
BreadnButter 619: u jus need practice ;-)
xX e R inJ hu Le: if you say so
BreadnButter 619: trust me
BreadnButter 619: u talkin to anyone?
xX e R inJ hu Le: not really
xX e R inJ hu Le: waiting for someone to respond to something
xX e R inJ hu Le: why?
BreadnButter 619: jus makin conversation
xX e R inJ hu Le: oicic
BreadnButter 619: heh whos this someone?
xX e R inJ hu Le: huh?
BreadnButter 619: xX e R inJ hu Le: waiting for someone to respond to something
BreadnButter 619: whos this someone
xX e R inJ hu Le: my friend cha
BreadnButter 619: heh ok
BreadnButter 619: u kno that one gurl u chill wit
BreadnButter 619: that chills wit eli
BreadnButter 619: nicole
xX e R inJ hu Le: nicola?
BreadnButter 619: yea
xX e R inJ hu Le: what about her?
BreadnButter 619: u got her sn
xX e R inJ hu Le: you want it?
BreadnButter 619: yea
BreadnButter 619: i need to ask her sumthin
xX e R inJ hu Le: swtsimplewishes
xX e R inJ hu Le: she's not on right now though
BreadnButter 619: brb gonna take out the trash
xX e R inJ hu Le: ok
BreadnButter 619: aightz
xX e R inJ hu Le: ay imma go now yeah?
xX e R inJ hu Le: ttyl
xX e R inJ hu Le: night
BreadnButter 619: ok
BreadnButter 619: swt dreams

.::erin jhule::.

where did we go wrong?!?

.::erin jhule::.

wherever you go.. whatever you do..
i will be right here waiting for you..
whatever it takes.. or how my heart breaks..
i will be right here waiting for you..

i never thought..
in million years..
that i'd ever have to let you go..
but no matter how many days pass me by..
no matter how many tears i may cry
no matter what others may tell me..
i'll always be waiting for the day..
when we'll find ourselves..
back in each other's arms..
because no matter how many days pass me by..
no matter how many tears i may cry
no matter what others may tell me..
i'll always love you..
and you can't just stop loving someone..
you can't just fall in and out of love..

.::erin jhule::.

i walk through school.. everyday i see faces of those i know.. i see basically everyone everyday.. yet i've never felt more lonelier.. man.. i feel so lonely.. it's like no ones there.. it feels like i have no one to talk to.. no one spend time with.. no one to hug when i feel down.. what did i do to make everyone not want to spend time with me?!? don't tell me i'm that bad of a person.. don't tell me i'm that bad of a friend.. because i really do try to be good.. i really try to be a good person and a good friend.. i always try to be there for everyone.. i've gotten in trouble so many times with my parents from doing something with a friend so they won't be alone.. and except for one or two people.. i try to keep a lot of things to myself so i won't end up hurting anyone.. so why the hell is everyone going away from me?!? i don't even know if any of my friends would want to be by me.. my own boyfriend doesn't even seem like he would want to spend time with me.. let alone my friends.. especially with all that has happened.. with me getting easily depressed lately.. i can't blame them for not wanting to talk to me or anything.. man.. i'm not gonna even try to be happy anymore.. i'm tired of wearing a stupid smile on the outside.. when on the inside it feels like i'm about to break down and cry.. i'm tired of trying so hard to stay at morse just so i can see my friends.. when it feels like no one's there.. i keep waiting.. and wishing.. and hoping that better days will come.. i keep praying that the sun will finally come down and shine.. i keep looking forward to a brighter and happier tomorrow..
how much longer do i have to wait?!?
when will all of this end?!?

.::erin jhule::.

.ten.months.
.i.love.you.babe.
.John.And.Erin.
.11.22.02

maybe this is the way things are suposed to be..
maybe the people i usually turn to aren't supposed to be there for me at times like these..
maybe i'm not supposed to be happy for more than a couple minutes at a time..
maybe i'm not supposed to happy inside and out..
maybe i'm supposed to be ready to break down and cry inside all the time..
maybe i'm supposed keep a smile on my face to hide how i really feel..
maybe this is what i guess for not doing what my mom wants and go to school in point loma..
maybe this is just God's way of punishing me for not being good enough..
maybe i'm just a bad person..

.::erin jhule::.

gosh.. i didn't even fucking do anything.. i'm not a fucking pussy.. i don't know what the hell you're talking about.. but i did not tell anyone to fucking confront you.. man.. i fucking told someone not to confront you.. i wasn't even gonna fucking do anything because like i've said a million times.. i don't want drama this year.. damn.. my friend told me that you yourself said you like him.. and even if you don't.. you still shouldn't be talking about what could have happened and all that shiet.. that was a year ago.. and things have changed.. damn.. fuck.. everyone who knows me knows i barely talk a lot.. so why would i go and say shiet about you?!? i didn't even really tell anyone anything.. it just came out somehow.. i wasn't even gonna fucking do anything.. like i said earlier.. i wasn't gonna do anything.. i was just gonna let it go and let whatever happen happen.. just because someone supposedly fronted you or whatever.. that doesn't mean i had anything to do with it.. i never told anyone to do that stuff to you.. i'm not like that.. man.. if you actually paid any attention to me before.. you know that my way of solving any problems with people is keeping it to myself and getting over it that way.. just because someone i know did something.. doesn't mean i had anything whatsoever to do with it.. damn.. this years most likely gonna be my only year at morse.. so why would i go and do any of that.. man.. shiet.. maybe i should reconsider hi tech high..

.::erin jhule::.

she likes him.. even though she told me she didn't.. she lied to me.. i don't even know what to do.. the last thing i want is drama.. it hasn't even been a month since the last time all this drama happened.. but i guess its happening all over again.. like someone close to me once said.. its an endless cycle.. i don't even know what to think anymore.. before i never had to question what my friends told me.. what my friends thought.. what they wanted.. or what they did.. but its days like these.. that make me feel like i ought to start..

.::erin jhule::.