I hate my hair!
Yes I finally realized that I do hate my hair! I probably look ten years older.

I am bothered by everything right now. I know it's because I am to have my period soon. I hate everything and everyone including myself! I just hate. I have thougth that thought hundreds of times today. When I have meet someone I think to myself "I hate him/I hate her". As usually when I am about to have my period I gain weight. That makes me hate myself even more.

I realized today that I have to work on my eyecontact now. I was pretty good at it before. But after the thing with V and S. I stoped having eyecontact with people. Think it has to do with not trusting people anymore. There is people in the world who wants to hurt me. I do not want to see those people so I don't look at anyone unless I really must. Ofcourse, for me who is slightly autistic it's more normal and safe not to have eyecontact. But I wish for how I was before I got used and tossed away by those two men (V. and S.) I was more open to people. I miss that.

I honestly, hate V. and S. with all my heart!!!

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I have a lot of project going on. It's two crosstich projects and a crocheted christmas curtain. I also try to learn shuttle tatting. Then I got some DMC crosstich yarn and som Aida, so I can make my own patterns or download someting from the IInter. So what of theese projects am I working on? NONE! I guess it's to much. I can't choose. An autistic problem perhaps, I don't know.

There have been times when I went to a store to get a laundry detergent. I ended up leaving the store without any at all. I simply couldn't choose a brand. I have to make my mind up and stick to it.

Anyway everything sucks today. Hopefully I'll get my period tomorrow and get it over and done with!