1966 AND ALL THAT

The first tale from our man is probably one of the most famous. It concerns the 1966 World Cup, let's hear it from the man himself.

"Well Ronnie and Reggie managed to purloin a couple of free tickets from some bloke who owed them a favour. Not being able to go as they were due to do a kneecapping that night, they asked me if I'd fancy going. Well not being one to turn down a freebie I instantly agreed. I was also influenced by the fact that if I didn't go, Ronnie wanted me to be his "special" friend that night. I went along with one of the other members of "The Firm" but we were quickly separated in the crowd. I managed to find myself a spot right at the front, so I was close to the action all the way through.

As you may all remember the game went into extra time, and not long after it started some Russian Geezer came up to me and in broken english told me he needed to take a crap so could I run the line for him until he came back. No problem I thought, even though I didn't know the rules I know all I had to do was stick the flag up in the air from time to time. Well would you believe it almost straight away I was called into action. Geoff Hurst, who was playing for England I believe, hits the ball, it hits the bar, bounced on the floor and out. Next thing I know everyone is looking at me. The ref came over and asked me if it was a goal. Well I had a look over, saw two posts, a crossbar and a net. Looked like a goal to me so I said yes. All of a sudden the players in the red shirts - I think they were English - started going mad, anyone would have thought they were on their way to winning the world cup or something.

Anyway the Russian bloke comes back, asks me if he'd missed anything, I tell him I think England may have scored, at which point he looked up at the scoreboard and nods his head. He thanked me and went back to run the line. I stood back and realised I'd made a promise to a good friend of mine to get his Israeli flag on TV. I thought I'd leave it until the end of the game until I did anything, didn't want to upset the match too much. Well the clock is ticking, the teams change ends, during the next few minutes, that Geoff Hurst bloke gets hold of the ball, and starts to run with it, I decide it's now time to run on the pitch with my flag. I didn't know it at the time but the TV commentator, can't remember his name, apparently made some remark about people being on the pitch. Anyway the whole place goes mad, don't know if it's the sight of my Israeli flag or the fact that Geoff geezer has scored. I finish running across the pitch and in all the excitement get back into the crowd unnoticed. Just enough time to get my suit on and make my way to the Royal Box, as the Krays had made it clear they also wanted me to nick the World Cup if I got a chance. Well would you believe it, I get up there and before I know it the Queen is giving it to some other geezer, he didn't even ask for it. I remember thinking to myself, if I'd known it was that easy I'd have taken it myself during the game."