entebbe

The famous Israeli Commando Raid On Entebbe is widely regarded as one of the most successful hostage rescues ever undertaken,when members of Israeli Special forces swooped down on Entebbe Airport in Uganda to "kick some african butt". It was blamed on an alliance between the Bader-Meinhof gang and the Ugandan Government. This may be true, but the reason behind the rescue - to free Jewish hostages - is according to our man a little economic with the truth. As always, we'll let him take up the story.

"Well there I was, I'd been seconded to the Israeli Special forces for a couple of weeks, as they were a bit short handed due to sick, annual leave, and training requirements. Well I'm dozing in my bed when this picture of a plane appears on the TV. Well knock me down with a kosher kipper, if it wasn't the plane I'd flown from Paris in just the other day. Then a startling memory hit me. I'd dropped my free peanuts under a seat, maybe they were still there. I don't like to miss out on anything free so I got on the phone to the commander. He told me that the government were thinking about making a rescue mission for the hostages but at the time they weren't so sure. When I explained to him about the free peanuts he was sold on the idea, a mission to rescue the peanuts was set up, if we could grab hold of a couple of hostages too that'd be a bonus. In the meantime we'd learnt that getting the peanuts would be a lot easier than originally thought, as the hostages were no longer on the plane but had been moved to a terminal building. I began setting up the team to grab the peanuts, another team was to be set up to get the hostages, well governments love good PR and rescuing people was always good for that.

My plan originally featured a VW Beetle, but I realised I was still waiting for the US Air Force to drop off a part I'd ordered, instead we used a Mercedes we'd borrowed off someone who was on long term sick - named after a Greyhound he was but can't remember which one. Anyway the plan was we'd land on the runway at Entebbe, as the transport plane we were using slowed down, the Mercedes was to be dropped off the back and me and my elite team would head for the plane to snatch the peanuts. Others would do the more mundane job of saving the people.

Anyway to cut a long story short, we land on the Runway as planned. Things don't go right though as the driver -Moshe - had been hitting the duty frees while we were on the plane so the car goes the wrong way. The Ugandans looking on must have been really confused, because we'd dressed up as cleaners, our bright yellow overalls standing out against the dark car. Fortunately Moshe finally gets his bearings and drives toward the plane - an Air France job if I remember right. In the background we can hear gunfire, and I remember thinking to myself, boy these peanuts must be good if they're that determined to hold onto them. We screech to a halt at the bottom of the plane and make our way up the stairs, another problem, the door is closed. Well being a forward thinker like I am this isn't a problem, we don't have explosives, but rather than hit the duty frees like Moshe, I'd carved an aircraft door jemmy out of a Banana I'd been given on the plane. I thought it would come in useful. I force the door open, and made my way to seat 37B where I'd been sitting. As I glance under the seat I realise we are too late, someone has either eaten them, or they'd actually cleaned the plane. Crestfallen we headed back to the now parked transport plane, the sound of gunfire is subsiding, and there are loads of people being moved toward us. For some reason all the other lads are pretty pleased with themselves, they think the rescue effort was a success. For me though I know it was a failure, and I'd have some explaining to do when I got back. My secondment ended shortly after, but this freed me up for even more adventures."