It's good to be back
Mood:  chatty
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Well I finally made it back to Fairoaks yesterday after a trip that did not go entirely to plan. Anyway being the highly trained specialist that I am, being able to adapt is one of my talents.
Things started smoothly enough with a speedy trip to the airport, Benny can sure handle the Trabant, and he had no trouble outpacing the kid on the bike who tried to race us down the road. On arrival at Fairoaks check in went pretty well for El Al. They only tried to bribe me once, and while I was tempted - after all 50 Shekels buys a lot of bagels - I didn't want to waste all the careful arrangements that had been made for me.
As Benny suggested the duty free shop was out of fags and this was very upsetting as I wasn't sure if you could get B&H in Iran, they didn't even have any booze either, and as for security...boy is that tight, first time I've ever been cavity searched before boarding a plane, and if you ask me the guy doing it seemed to enjoy it a bit too much. He looked vaguely familiar. For privacy reasons these guys badges only have their initials on, his were TW, I'd better look that up. He even found the two cans of Pepsi Max I had shoved up my backside to smuggle into Iran.
Plane was packed, it was the annual Fat Bastard convention in Jerusalem and they had virtually chartered the plane by the looks of it. We were late taking off, and I'm sure the extra weight slowed things down a bit. The upshoot of all this was I was late making my connection to the special Ops flight at Tel Aviv.
These guys are the so called elite of the Israeli army, but compared to my day these geezers are wimps. When I was in training we weren't allowed to use parachutes for the first three jumps, it was designed to toughen you up. Talking to these guys I learned that parachutes are now compulsory, talk about gay! Anyway while I was putting on my black make up, I proceeded to tell them all about my exploits and generally making sarcastic remarks about their abilities which were dwarfed by mine. For some reason that pissed a few of them off a bit, and they tossed me out of the plane in the middle of nowhere. Took me by surprise to tell the truth and I didn't have time to use Hava Nagida to defend myself.
Anyway that's where things started to go wrong, and as I want to pace myself I'll write more about it next time. I'm now off to Benny's to start processing some of the pictures I took. Benny's services are cheaper than getting them developed at Boot's or Tesco's for that matter.
Shalom