I'm Mandy Fly Me
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: The Penny Whistle
I took a trip out to Fairoaks this morning to see how the new security arrangements are working out. It looks like the lads there have got it working much better than those muppets at Heathrow, but I suppose the fact that you only have top secret spying missions flying out of there helps. Still I took along a few Tesco and Sainsbury's bags along with me just in case. It'll be nice to know they're there when I next fly out.
It's not only airports that are suffering either. The new Russian security detail have set up some new measures of their own at the Synagogue. Just like an airport you can't take any liquids into the building, which upset Mr Mikelstein who likes to take a little refreshment in with him to make the whole thing bearable. The thing that has pissed me off the most though is their claim that only specially screened skull caps can be worn. They'll rent them to you at a fiver a service, and they make sure they get them back as soon as that idiot Goldberg finishes his sermon. It's a real rip off, especially as I'd had a special Kevlar one made just for me. Well you never know when someone is going to take a pot shot at you.
I'll be spending the rest of the day making up a coded message for Tel Aviv. There's an interesting new Bedpan design which is being tried out at the hospital. Shaped just like Osama Bin Laden's head and it's proving very popular, especially the fact that you do your business through his open mouth. It also has the added bonus that the turban part provides some nice cushioning to your nether regions.

Shalom