I have News!
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Tommy Cooper sings Sinatra
Managed to keep the thieving gippos away from anything of value yesterday. Those bastards try every trick in the book, but they don't normally come across someone like me. It only took me to open my mouth and they were off "like a Rat out of an Aqueduct" as they said in that movie about me all those years ago.
When I got home last night there was a letter waiting for me. Looks like Benny has managed to fix things and I've been asked to attend an audition as an extra on Celebrity Concentration Camp. It'll only be for a weekend as they want to separate the strong from the weak. So next week I have to cycle down to Wimbledon station and they'll take care of things from there. It means I may go missing for a few days from here, but rest assured I'll be back. Now for a weekend trip I couldn't believe what they've asked me to bring. I'm to stuff a saddlebag full of valuable items. No liquids or gels will be allowed though as they are a security risk apparently so there goes my Brylcreem. I'm assuming therefore they will be providing any toiletries we may require, I'll have to get hold of Benny and see what he can tell me. The TV company are also providing all travel costs, food, drinks and accommodation which means it'll be a cheap weekend and it won't cost me a shekel. I can't wait to tell the truth, I can't believe I'm going to be on TV if I pass the audition.
The NHS transfer day passed off without any changes here. The deal for the Polish porter fell through when somebody here realised that he was not as good at creative accounting as one of the Nigerians, and boy do the Hospital finances need some of that. So we decided to keep them both even though they earn 25p an hour more. Pity really as I'm sure I would find the Pole sleeping in the locker room all the time.
Anyway better start planning for my trip next week, I'm so excited.

Shalom