My Kind Of Town
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Hurling
Thank f**k it's Friday, this week seems to have gone so slowly it's untrue. Where are the international crisis points? It seems the world has no need of the likes of me, highly trained intelligence officers who can stir up trouble at the squeeze of a trigger. I blame that James Bond geezer who I see has a new film out now, I don't like the bloke but I must admit he does have a f**king good plastic surgeon. It's no wonder we've never uncovered his true identity, just look at his track record. First he looks like David Niven, then Sean Connery, then George Lazenby, the list goes on. Whilst us Mossad types are given some training in altering our ID, we never went to the extent that James Bond does, no wonder our f**king taxes are so high, shelling out for all this plastic surgery. Don't even get me started on the gadgets and cars. With Mossad you were given a Tandy Gift Voucher, or if you were lucky some cash to spend in Argos. Still that was an improvement on the old days when we had to collect Green Shield stamps. Do you know how many books you had to complete to get an Uzi clip? F**king hundreds, and then they wouldn't have the bastard things in stock when you went to the store, you'd end up getting a teasmaid or something.
At the moment of typing, I still have no concrete plans for the weekend. A trip to the Synagogue is a given although I only do that for social purposes. Trust me I can't stand getting out of bed on a Saturday morning, especially when there are no Bagels to be enjoyed. It's a pain in the arse dusting off the old suit and skull cap and generally trying to be nice to a bunch of Jews who you know would sell off your collection of KFC wet wipes if they thought there was a few shekels in it for them. Still us Red Sea Pedestrians need to stick together, otherwise they'll turn the place into a Wetherspoons which they'd probably call the Jewish Harp to reflect it's previous history.

Shalom