F*cking technical problems
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Prince Charming
Well that was a great start to 2007 wasn't it? No update yesterday from me. I'll use the old chestnut excuse of technical difficulties. First off the battery in my laptop went flat, then the plug socket in the bogs wasn't working. When I eventually found one that worked, the hospital wireless network was down. Talk about a pain in the arse. I tried everything, even NHS Direct, all they wanted to know was whether I had a headache or something. They told me to go and see a doctor for my pain in the arse, they just didn't get it. Anyway there are only so many trips you can make to the bog without people noticing and I'm glad to see everything is up and running normally today.
Not that anything dramatic happened. I was loitering around the A&E and I noticed that big ginger haired geezer with the variable bad back was sitting there. Turns out his recliner threw him across the living room while he was watching some Larry Grayson. He reckons he was thrown so violently that there is now a dent in his living room wall. He's looking for a few weeks off work to recover which he knows the tame quack here will give him. I asked him what he'll do while he's off and he said something about sharpening his Pike. I've no idea what that means.
Now that we've rung in 2007, I guess we can start with a review of 2006. Let's start with January. Well at that stage I wasn't laying my thoughts before you, so you'll have to take my word for it that the Bagels were tasty and I managed to wriggle out of a charge of breaking and entering. You'll be amazed how many fall for the old Milk Tray routine. Why was I breaking and entering? Well certain high powered individuals are still looking for reasons to have invaded certain places. I'd broken into the HQ of Pontin's to see if I could find confirmation of their plans to build a camp near Baghdad. Let's face it, does the world really need another one. Well I was caught red handed with a copy of their latest brochure, which sad to say didn't mention their Middle East enterprise at all. The mysterious ID card with the Star of David on it, plus a box of Milk Tray saved the day again. I walked away a free man.
OK, better be going, time to see if anyone else I know has shown up in A&E.

Shalom