Mood:  not sure

Ok, I know I haven't been around much lately, a couple of reasons for that. First off I've been advised that my ID might have been accidently revealed so I need to move safe house. Apparently when I signed up for a couple of shifts in the local McDonald's they left my application form on the counter. I'm pretty gutted, I was looking forward to wearing that trendy cap with the little 'm' on it. I know it's trendy because I see loads of kids wearing them. It's all part of Mossad trying to reconnect with the kids on the street.

Secondly I've been working undercover again, this time driving an ambulance around the west end. Lucky for you lot I was...who else could have sorted out that car bomb that quickly. I got pretty pissed off with the local law wanting to call in the bomb squad to sort it out. As I've always said why f*ck around. The dozy c*nts who plant these things always wire them up the same way. So I just strolled over and using my NHS issued scissors I cut the red and earthed the blue. Problem solved. Mind you my task was made easier by them planting it in a f*cking Mercedes. Mossad have been using those things for years so breaking into it was a piece of piss. To tell the truth they're a shit car...give me a Renault Laguna any day.

So I'm typing away surrounded by boxes. It's only when you move you realise how much junk you've got. I discovered stuff I thought I'd lost, like a packet of Mossad issued Cyanide tablets, a couple of black outfits which don't fit anymore, an old orange hi-vi from my days working on that Underground railway somewhere in London, and an old Curlywurly I found under one of my armchairs. That had been worrying me for years...I'm glad I found that...might tuck into it later.

OK, well I'd better head down the Synagogue, the window cleaner reckons he can get me a good deal on some windolene and seeing as I'm going to have to clean my windows I think it's too good a deal to miss. I'm not paying that w*nker to clean them though...last time I did that my fax machine went missing.

Shalom