Mood:  energetic

Well what a week it's been. All my stuff has been packed into boxes and taken away by the Mossad movers to a destination so secret even I don't know where it is. So at the moment I'm living under a couple of tree branches on Hampstead Heath, where I have to say all the other geezers here seem to make a lot of noise at night although they are pretty friendly.

Today is the start of the Tour De France, and I've got lots of e-mails asking me why I'm not taking part. Well I've been there and done that, and as I'm allergic to Lycra it's probably not a good idea for me to ride for long periods anymore. I might be circumcised but the bollocks still itch a lot. Besides it's not as tough as they make out, the Tour De Cricklewood is much harder, those disabled ramps in the IKEA car park are pretty substantial, you really earn that polka dot jersey let me tell you.

Other news is that as a result of the recent happenings in London, we ain't employing any more Muslim quacks for a while, especially since we caught one syphoning petrol out of the old cripple ambulance we have parked up. Also I've applied to join a new elite NHS cycling force who will cycle round the streets of London ready to react to the first sign of an dodgy happenings. I think I stand a good chance of getting in, first off I'm a fantastic cyclist, second off my time in an Israeli Army MASH unit gives me far more battlefield experience than any of the other nonces applying.

Anyway better wrap things up, some nice bloke called Quentin has just rustled my branches and tells me it's time to go. Apparently he knows some nice cottages we can visit...I love those old English cottages and wasn't aware there were so many in the Hampstead area, he even has a name for the activity...he calls it cottaging...sounds like fun.

Shalom