Mood:  not sure

So as I mentioned we were due to have a guest Rabbi standing in for Goldberg who's gone off to polish his gold bracelet for a few days. In fact we not only got one...we got two! Some fat geezer called Prescott who's looking for a new job after his glory days alongside Blair, and someone else who is vaguely familiar. Remember that big eared geezer we had at the hospital a few months back? Looks like part of his therapy was to become a Jew. It was pretty weird watching someone read out of the old Torah thingy and putting in the word geezer from time to time. He said he was quoting out of the Torah anyway, but I don't recall the line saying "and the big geezer said all your bed materials shall be made of easy wash down plastic so thou will not stick to them" Maybe he was looking at the up to date version. Still like most of the audience I had this overwhelming desire to beat the shit out of him after 5 minutes. Some things never change. Prescott? He did about all he did when he was allegedly in government. Useless fat bastard sat there and did nothing, and the c*nt ate all the black market Bagels afterwards.

Still scouring the world for trouble spots. Someone suggested I zip over to Minnesota and help them build a new bridge. Someone obviously dug up my time in the Israeli Army's corp of engineers when we built that bridge across the Nile in just a day. Of course once again, Hollywood got interested in my feat, but to protect my identity they had to change the time and setting. So to all you muppets who think Bridge Over The River Kwai is a second world war film. Sorry, but just like Cockleshell Heroes and The Great Escape, it's actually my exploits that they are based on. Not that I made any money out of them...c*nts.

Anyway, time for a nice hot buttered Bacon Bagel. Look out for updates during the week, yep I'm going to actually make an effort as it could be an exciting week at the hospital.

Shalom