Mood:  lyrical

Strange kind of day yesterday, where all my troubles seemed so far away as my mate Ronnie used to say. First off a trip to the Synagogue where Goldberg had apparently threw a 'sickie' and hadn't showed up. Now far be it from me to criticise anyone, but those stand in Rabbis from Rentarabbi don't really cut the mustard, and I'm f*cking certain that they haven't had the Mossad background check done on them. Yesterdays schmuk was a geezer calling himself Norton, and I'm pretty certain he was batting for the same side as Ronnie used to. Seemed a little too interested in male to male relations for my liking, a f*cking gay rabbi...never saw them in my day...just shows how bad things have got...he didn't even have a beard. The upshoot of this is that this c*nt doesn't have access to the top secret Fisher Price code book, so the next part of the message I'm supposed to get from Tel Aviv never got to me. Once Goldberg gets back from the Bahamas rest home he's gone to I'll have to chase him up.

Once Synagogue was over, it was up on the bike and a quick trip to St Georges hospital in Tooting where it was the hospital trolley expo 2007. Even though this current undercover mission was not of my choosing, I like to make sure I'm up to date with the latest goings on in the trolley world. This years must have accessory for your trolley is a GPS system which is built into the handle, means you'll never get lost and take someone to the Mortuary instead of Physical Therapy for instance. It's pretty old hat to me though, many years ago Mossad scientists implanted a microchip in my brain which is GPS enabled...I never get lost. Benny reckoned it did have side effects though which is why it never became standard practice, I disagree though...to me fluent bullshit is one of the most up and coming languages in the world...I'm an expert.

OK, time to hit the Bagel Bake, I might even get a few extra to take into work tomorrow, not to share with the lads though...a stale Bagel makes an excellent spare tyre for a trolley, and with NHS cutbacks we've quite a few trolleys with flats hanging around...makes them a bugger to steer.

Shalom