Mood:  irritated

Mossad HQ, like you lot no doubt, gets lots of f*cking shit sent its way. It wastes time as we try and decode everything, just in case someone is sending us Osama Bin Laden's address in a council flat in Stepney for instance, or even better has come across a seasonal discount at some Bagel shop somewhere (Yes we're loyal to the Brick Lane place obviously, but a deal's a deal). So what really pisses me off is those c*nts from Burkina Faso who keep offering me some wonderful deal where I'll inherit millions from some other f*cker who died in some disaster somewhere.

I think I need to make this clear to my yellow overall, rubber booted friends.

I don't know anyone who has died in a f*cking Tsunami, although the roof did blow off of Benny's shed once when it was raining, ruined his porno collection but that's another story.

I don't know anyone who died in the World Trade Centre (at least that's the official line...got to maintain some degree of secrecy).

I don't know anyone who has died in a plane crash either, I might fly all over the place but I've always been able to take over the controls before we've hit a mountain or something. The only guy I know who has been killed in a flying incident was Corporal Liebenstein during the first Gulf War...and that was because the stupid c*nt put his sleeping bag in his parachute bag...bought a whole new meaning to a HALO drop.

I think what I'm trying to tell my Russian based African friends is F*CK OFF YOU C*NTS...stop wasting our codebreakers time. In future Mossad HQ have given me the OK to copy and paste these e-mails received on this page...then we'll show the world what a bunch of c*nts you really are.

OK, rant over, not much else to report, still got the gay rabbi this week so no new message will be forthcoming, and with the decadence of Christmas coming up I've been asked to test drive a few presents for the undercover Mossad operative in your life...more on that in the future.

Shalom