Mood:  mischievious

Well sorry I'm a bit late today, there's been ructions down the Synagogue and we're not talking about someone dropping a 50p piece on the floor either. First off someone brought up the subject of repairing the window I smashed through the other week. The general opinion seems to be that I pay for it...bunch of c*nts...I do them a favour for a week and this is how they repay me. Anyway I got that sorted after I threatened to make public their Mossad files...seems like a few of them have something to hide as they quickly backed down. Anyway the Window Cleaner geezer stepped forward and reckons he knows someone who can get it done on the cheap...problem solved.

The big drama though is Goldberg's sudden disappearance in circumstances which are even murkier than that councillor who was forced to quit a while ago (Not allowed to mention his name...orders from the top). Seems like he took the collection plate with him, and that came to a pretty shekel. I have offered to send a death squad after him, although how current Frankie Fraser's passport is I don't know. Tony Blackburn's off to the caribbean for a couple of weeks soon, maybe he'll do it for me. In the meantime though we are without a Rabbi as we can't even afford to rent one now. Nobody wants me to do it again even though I'm full of interesting tales, and to be honest some of the Muppets who want to do it don't impress me...they all have the religion bug. I suppose we'll end up trawling the streets looking for a circumcised tramp who'll do the job for the price of a cup of Tea, although having seen how much a cup of tea is these days I don't think we can afford that.

Blimey, it's all action ain't it, I've got to cut this short...the Tel Aviv hotline's ringing and it might be important...more tomorrow.

Shalom