Mood:  irritated

F*ck, F*ck, F*ck...I spend most of yesterday writing out some really good f*cking stuff for the Queen to read out on Tuesday and what does the dozy old bat go and do...get one pre-recorded written by some ponce who is almost certainly a raving queerboy...I could say more but I can't afford the court costs.

Mine was a work of art, started off with the line "A Long Long time ago in a Synagogue not far away" now some of you c*nts are going to be thinking I nicked that line off of that piece of crap called 'Star Wars'. Well let me tell you...that geezer Eric Lucas nicked that line off of me...I reckon Sophia must have given it to him after one of those crazy parties we used to have with Ronnie, Reggie and the boys in Stepney. Those things were even better when Fulham/Chelsea had won. Anyway I'd gone into great detail about how Mossad had done a great job decorating that house of hers in London, and how she gets pissed off trying to be nice to f*cking African despots. "Not what we want" is what I was told...I'd even chucked in a line about a special thank you to all the underappreciated NHS trolley pushers. F*cking royalty...you can shove it where you can't put a Bagel.

Talking of Bagels...well OK something fairly kosher...the powers that be have decided to run a contest to find the new Rabbi...something like Z Factor or whatever it's called. They're thinking of calling it something original like Search for a Rabbi. I'm a bit worried about what they're looking for...seems biased toward people interested in religion to me...no wonder the place is so f*cking boring.

No doubt you've all been reading about the NHS patrols round London scooping up all you pissheads out there. I wanted to do a spell in the field hospital thing they've set up at Liverpool Street station, but the wanker that runs it didn't seem keen on my idea of doing a bit of open heart surgery while we had it running. Dozy c*nt...with my experience of MASH units during the six day war, and the Notting Hill carnival I'd have been ideal...serves them right.

OK, tomorrow the last one before you gentiles celebrate Christmas...Benny reckons he has a surprise for you...we shall see.

Shalom