Mood:  not sure

Blimey, been a hectic week and today put the icing on the cake (kosher of course). I was up early this morning to do the hospitals version of that Yankee thing Groundhog Day. We wheel a hospital trolley out into the car park - after tying down the bloke that's lying on it - and then hang around smoking fags until it's tea break time. If we see the trolleys shadow we know we're in for six more weeks of TB victims, if not well that normally means it's pissing down with rain and the bloke on the trolley dies of Pneumonia within six weeks...some wag suggested we use Jeremy Beadle but another hospital beat us to him...c*nts. We used to do a similar thing when I ran the Israeli Navy...we'd hang an Arab and at the appointed hour if we could see his shadow we knew we could bomb the Gaza strip for another six weeks...it never f*cking failed. Don't ask me why the Yanks prefer a rat to do the job for them.

Then it was off to the Synagogue which is once again Rabbi less. A synagogue without a rabbi is about as useful as a secret agent who doesn't buy made to measure suits...pretty f*cking useless. It's pretty chaotic there at the moment as everyone thinks they can do the job...even some of the women are sticking on beards and having a go. Reminded me of an old Monty Python film although the name of it escapes me for now.

I finished off the day down Tooting High Street sticking up posters of my missing bike pump...I haven't had much of a response so far, and my usual sources don't seem to know anything either...I think I'll write to Jimmy Saville and see if he can fix it for me to get a new one...always wanted one of those plastic badges he'd put round your neck.

Shalom