It's good to talk
Mood:  chatty
Well managed to get away with nicking some free electricity to charge up me satellite phone. The street light was a little dim overnight, but I don't mind that. Nobody fell over the cable either so I don't think I'll get caught.
Got in this morning and there was chaos. A trolley had overturned in the entrance hallway leaving a gap too narrow for wheelchairs to pass. With my railway marshalling experience I soon sorted it out though. Amazing what I've learned over the years. It turns out that the trolley was moving someone with a tennis racket sticking out of their backside, and the racket caught on something overturning the trolley and the geezer. It's been a week where I think I recognise people but am not so sure. This bloke kept going on about Arnold and going woof woof. I think I met him at a party once. They must have been taking him to the psycho ward.
I'm told that there are people actually reading this thing. I can't say I'm surprised, wait until I really get going, then you'll read some fun stuff, tell all your mates.
Anyway, the microwave's just gone ding, my salt beef bagel must be ready. I have then specially flown in from Brick Lane, along with the parts for the fastest VW this side of Wembley.
More later

Keep on wheeling
Delicious Salt Beef Bagel, one of the best I've had for some time. This has been a good day for me as the hospital have been trying out a new scheme whereby for one day a week, selected members of staff are allowed to go and chat with patients who don't get many visitors. I volunteered for this and it's great to share some of my stories with those lonely people. The only drawback is that I never seem to get the same patient twice. I am obviously a success although some wag reckons that after a couple of hours with me they top 'emselves.
The mystery window cleaner is still here. I don't know what's wrong with him as I've not been able to talk to him since he arrived. Still once he's up and about maybe he can help out a bit and clean the windows on the ward, they're looking a bit shabby. I think I'll go and talk to the boss of the cleaners here - known as JJ - and see if one of his latest planeload of illegals might do some work.
Ok, time stops for no man, I've spotted a willing listener, now let's see which story do I start with first...

Conned!
Mood:  chatty
Well I cut short my phone call for nothing yesterday. Turns out the geezer who claimed he was in the SAS, used to work for some swedish airline out of Heathrow! There I was all ready to give him full blast with my exploits. Not many films been made about baggage handlers have there.
Skied to work today, I know it ain't been snowing but that just adds to the fun. I did get some odd looks from passers by, but I reckon they were just jealous that can't ski properly. I know they've been over for a while, but I need to say I was disappointed with the Israeli team's performance in the Winter Olympics. Things have really slipped since I won triple platinum in Tel Aviv in 1969.
That window cleaning bloke is still in the ward I pass by everyday, I think they made a mistake on his chart because everyone refers to him as the typing error. Digging through my copies of the West Bank Sun, I discovered he was the winner of the George Formby best kept Chamois award in 2005. Maybe that's why he is familiar.
Okay, batteries dying on my phone, better get off and find a lamp post to plug the charger into. Later all

Another day, another trolley
Mood:  chatty
Missed out yesterday, some sod had locked all the phones in the department so I couldn't call out. I had a dig around at home, found an old satellite phone underneath all my black gear, should be alright now. Luckily I know how to tap into my former employers account to make calls.
Not much going on really, been going through the files about this Dick Cheney geezer. Sounds like a tough nut to me, then again all those arabs kept telling me they were tough nuts in '67. Soon proved them wrong, and don't get me started about Ronnie and Reggie. That window cleaning bloke is really bothering me, I know I've seen that facial hair somewhere, just can't put my finger on it. There's lots of good things about my job that I want to tell you about, but I ain't got time now. One of the other guys here is spouting on about how he was in the SAS, and that's a challenge I can't refuse. More later

Another day
Mood:  chatty
Got talked into this, somebody reckons I've had such an all action life I should get it all down on the internet for everyone to see. Also there are a lot of people who want to know what I'm up to since my last mission ended. I know nothing about computers, so a good mate of mine overseas has volunteered to put my thoughts down in writing. It's gonna cost me a fortune in phone calls. So let's see, where do I start. Well it was a rough day down at the hospital today, first of all the window cleaner fell off of his ladder, for some reason he had a fax machine in his bucket. Then as I was pushing him to the operating theatre to perform the necessary surgery, the wheel fell off my trolley. I laughed so much I almost smiled. Benny Slibowitz from the secret agent club down in Tooting gave me a call, apparently he wants me to go out hunting with some guy called Dick Cheney. Never heard of him, although somebody reckons he's someone important down in America, although I'm not sure what part of London that's in, and in my life I've travelled around I can tell you. Anyway enough for now, before someone works out I've dialled abroad on a hospital phone.

More ramblings
Mood:  chatty
Gotta make this quick, sneaked into an office to make a call. That bloke who fell off the ladder and had the fax machine claimed the machine was his good luck charm, just like a rabbit's foot. I thought I recognised him but I can't be sure. I cycled to work today, good training for this years tour of Cricklewood. I won King of the Mountains in it last year, and I can tell you the Wheelchair ramp at IKEA is hell to get up. I found out who Dick Cheney is. He's a keen marksman by all accounts, well he's never come up against the Israeli Army's marksman of the year in 1968. I'll show him how to shoot properly. Ok got to go, I parked my trolley on a double yellow and I don't want to get clamped. More later.