What A Difference A Day Makes
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Ringo Starr plays Bach

Well I've blown them up and driven through the walls of them with my tank, but yesterday was a first for me. I sneaked in to a Mosque and got to see what all of the fuss was about. I thought the Synagogue was bad...the Mosque was a f*cking disgrace. What's the deal with having no chairs? If Goldberg gets wind of that he could save himself a fortune. All that praying and everything did my f*cking back in. I bet the bastards won't pay my quack's bill to have it sorted out. Still at least you can scramble about on nice carpeted floors, that was about the only thing I can say about the place that was any good, but all that chanting for Allah got on my nerves. I have plenty of their records but never got that excited about them. I was always quite partial to the blonde bird in them and my favourite song has to be Waterloo...I love songs about train stations.

Anyway it was off to my new safe house yesterday and that was a bit of a let down. Granted it has a proper bike rack, but the dozy c*nts hadn't taken my colour scheme into account. There wasn't a lick of black paint to be seen. You know what I blame? Ever since Mossad started letting these f*cking Poofs join up things have started to change. Now we have to have designed by Armani and Calvin Klein and that bunch of clowns. What was wrong with Avi Bloomenstein's made to measure stuff? Nothing that's what I say. The c*nts even put pink paint in my bog. Still the basement has been converted into a bomb proof radio room and there's even a slot in the garden shed for me to stick my trolley when I take time off from the hospital.

OK, time to try out the secret passageway to Goldberg's place.

Shalom

On The Move
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Reg Varney sings The Sex Pistols

Well I sneaked off of work today as Mossad have finally told me that my new safe house is ready. I'm looking forward to it, I'll have somewhere safe to chain my bike, be close to the Synagogue, and be able to openly carry a bag of frsh Bagels down the road without getting funny looks from all those f*cking Arabs.

I've decided though that before I move on, I'm going to go and see what actually goes on in a Mosque. Never really bothered before, normally too busy trying to blow the f*ckers up, alongside those inside it. Don't know what time all the action kicks off, but I'll hang around outside until I spot the bastards turning up. I know though that my skull cap needs to be a white one, and I spent all last night and a fortune on Tippex making sure mine is dazzling. Should blend in lovely is my guess.

After that, well I'll pack my saddlebags and scurry off down to the new safe house and see what sort of job the Mossad guys have done with it. I hope they went with my suggested colour scheme of radar resistant black, we'll soon see.

 Shalom

Back to work
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: The Pushbike song

Didn't make it to the Synagogue yesterday. I'm beginning to lapse a bit and if I carry on like this I might be forced to quit Mossad and join some non Jewish intelligence agency instead.

Still I must be in Mossad's good books at the moment, as they sent me a nice pair of Bike clips which are made out of the same stuff they paint American Spy planes in. I think it's so I don't get caught on those f*cking speed cameras as I cycle away from my latest mission. Always thinking ahead those geezers in Tel Aviv, my cycling skills are famous, and with a good tail wind I can even give the fastest VW Beetle in the West a run for its money.

I'm a bit pissed off this morning as I've got to go back to the hospital tomorrow. I wasted my holiday to a large extent by hanging around with the hippies at Heathrow, and I didn't really gather much useful intelligence apart from the fact that I hate Folk music, and I'm glad I wash every day. I don't know what Mossad were hoping to gain from me being there. It's not as if there are spy planes landing there every day, we reserve that sort of thing for Fairoaks, which having seen the state of Heathrow I'm glad is my airport of choice.

I'm getting a bit desperate for a Bagel, and as soon as I finish filing my report I'm on the bike and down to Brick Lane. What is it about Arabs that they can't see the pleasures of the simple Bagel? There's not one decent Jewish bakery to be found in the part of the Edgware road I'm based in. That's a sad reflection of London these days, full of f*cking foreigners who have no loyalty to any particular country. Me...I never forget where I came from and am proud to be a Swiss/Israeli/Englishman.

Shalom 

Synagogue where art thou
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Some Bucks Fizz

I was very unhappy with that bunch of unwashed layabouts last weeked. There I was hoping we'd be getting on a plane to somewhere nice and warm and what did those c*nts do? Go and stand outside the HQ of BAA instead. I did run around telling them that the Terminals were somewhere else but none of the bastards believed me, and some even got a bit stroppy. Soon put them right I can tell you, being a master in the dark arts of Israeli self defence techniques comes in useful sometimes.

So instead of having something interesting to tell you about my trip to somewhere special, I trooped off back to my new safe house and spent the week moping in there. I f*cking hate this place, it's almost like being on the West Bank with all the f*cking Arabs walking about. You'd never think I was in part of London. To top it all, I can't find a decent Bagel, and not even a Synagogue to waste some time in. It's not even anywhere near the f*cking hospital.

Still won't be long before my new bunker is ready and I'll have my own secret tunnel direct to Goldberg's flat. OK going to get the bike out and take a ride, I'll be practicing a few drive by head shots and believe me it ain't easy doing that and steering a bike at the same time. I was top of the class at the Mossad academy for that. That was always good, they'd line up a few Arabs they'd picked up for throwing stones at tanks, and you'd get a few shots at each...ahhhhhh happy days.

Shalom

I'm back!
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Thomas The Tank Engine And Friends

Well it's been a strange couple of weeks since I last had a chance to write. First off I'm no longer on Clapham Common, Mossad have got me somewhere properly built to stay undercover in. It's a nice little flat on the Edgware Road, and Mossad experts reckon I'll blend right in there. Mind you I haven't tracked down the Synagogue there, so I'll be cycling down to see Goldberg's ramblings. I don't mind really, I get to see lots of familiar faces and it's good to keep in touch with the Bus Driving window cleaner.

I spent this week camping out one last time though. Mossad wanted me to spend some time with the great unwashed, so I've been camping out with those filthy bunch of layabouts protesting about the Runway at Heathrow. Dozy bastards, I bet when they go on their protests to all those G8 summits they catch a plane. Anyway I don't think I made a good impression by turning up with all my kit and sliding down a rope from a Mossad chartered helicopter. After that nobody really wanted to talk to me, even when I offered to set up a MASH tent for the inevitable ruck with the Police which I've been trying to stir up. They kept going on about a peaceful protest but their f*cking folk music kept me up all night long...c*nts.

Anyway I'm not sure how much I've been able to achieve. We're all going on a walk in a minute so to the airport, I hope we're going somewhere nice, I've got my Mongolian passport with me just in case.

Shalom

The Mystery Man is on a deep undercover operation somewhere exotic. We are hopeful that we will get something from him soon, just watch this space!

This is brief
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Secret Agent Man
null

Bring Back Goldberg!
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Elvis Presley

So as I mentioned we were due to have a guest Rabbi standing in for Goldberg who's gone off to polish his gold bracelet for a few days. In fact we not only got one...we got two! Some fat geezer called Prescott who's looking for a new job after his glory days alongside Blair, and someone else who is vaguely familiar. Remember that big eared geezer we had at the hospital a few months back? Looks like part of his therapy was to become a Jew. It was pretty weird watching someone read out of the old Torah thingy and putting in the word geezer from time to time. He said he was quoting out of the Torah anyway, but I don't recall the line saying "and the big geezer said all your bed materials shall be made of easy wash down plastic so thou will not stick to them" Maybe he was looking at the up to date version. Still like most of the audience I had this overwhelming desire to beat the shit out of him after 5 minutes. Some things never change. Prescott? He did about all he did when he was allegedly in government. Useless fat bastard sat there and did nothing, and the c*nt ate all the black market Bagels afterwards.

Still scouring the world for trouble spots. Someone suggested I zip over to Minnesota and help them build a new bridge. Someone obviously dug up my time in the Israeli Army's corp of engineers when we built that bridge across the Nile in just a day. Of course once again, Hollywood got interested in my feat, but to protect my identity they had to change the time and setting. So to all you muppets who think Bridge Over The River Kwai is a second world war film. Sorry, but just like Cockleshell Heroes and The Great Escape, it's actually my exploits that they are based on. Not that I made any money out of them...c*nts.

Anyway, time for a nice hot buttered Bacon Bagel. Look out for updates during the week, yep I'm going to actually make an effort as it could be an exciting week at the hospital.

Shalom

What's going on
Mood:  not sure

Still on Clapham Common, went for a ride last night on the Underground. Haven't done that for a while, looks like it's all gone downhill since I was working undercover  down there. Of course I was going to be hard to replace, they were so in awe of my knowledge that they knew they couldn't let me go any higher, I was too valuable at that level. Of course it helped me maintain my cover, and that was just as important.

I'm thinking of having a weekend away next week as Mossad and the hospital have given me some leave. I'm still tempted by the idea of Iraq, looks like lots of action going on there, but it's still full of f*cking Yanks. That's what put me off it last year. I hate going anywhere the Yanks are. The Sudan looks interesting, you certainly get the weather, and I could do with losing a bit of weight. I'll work something out and I'll book it through the Mossad travel agency. Nice and cheap, even if it's not the most fancy way to go. Having to get all that false passport bullshit is a pain in the arse though. I wonder what nationality they'll give me this time. I hope I don't have to pretend I'm Harry Krishna again. I still have all the George Harrison records from last year, and to be honest...his stuff is crap.

Did I ever tell you about the time I met The Beatles? Me, Ronnie and Reggie were in a boozer just of off Vallance Road, and they just showed up and gave us a quick rendition of Yellow Submarine. That was very appropriate at the time because in between kneecapping shopkeepers who wouldn't pay their protection, and working at the Bagel Bake, I was working on the Israeli Navy's midget Submarine project. That would have worked really well let me tell you, but it hit the rocks when we couldn't find enough midgets to man the sub. These short bastards...you can never find them when you need them.

 Anyway, we have a guest Rabbi at the synagogue today, should be fun.

 Shalom

Job Opportunities

Mossad (UK) are currently looking to expand their covert operations in the United Kingdom's transportation industry. We are currently looking to recruit the following.

COVERT OPERATIVE (DAY SHIFT)  JOB NO: BS 351

COVERT OPERATIVE (NIGHT SHIFT) JOB NO: BS 352

These positions are based in London, you will be working underground in more ways than one.

If you are interested in applying please send your current CV to mossadhq@hotmail.co.uk please remember to put the job number you are applying for in the e-mail subject line.

If you want to learn more, you can also e-mail us at mossadhq@hotmail.co.uk

Thank you for your interest in becoming part of our team.

Gis A Job

Manager, HR Department Mossad (UK)

We would like to thank the Mystery Man for allowing us to use this space for these job announcements.

Wake me up before you go go
Mood:  loud
Now Playing: Water Polo

Yesterday as you all know by now is Synagogue day. As you also know I've been keeping a low profile from there after the misunderstanding involving plastic carrier bags and the traps in the bogs. Well yesterday I crawled back to my regular Saturday haunt and stayed at the back. Goldberg was as boring as ever, and then much to my horror they decided to send a collection plate round which is something they don't do every week. Now you lot might think, what's the big deal with that. Well I know it always ends up at the back of the place last. This means you can't make any change out of a pound coin as it's already been done by everybody else. So I'm not a happy bunny, especially as I had no Polish Zlotys to shove on the plate either. It's tough being in some sort of disgrace...but I'll be back.

I notice that Mossad are advertising my old job, and I was briefly interested in reapplying. But with my current communication difficulties I can't arrange for anyone to  swoop in and alter my previous record. I had to get away from there as my cover had been blown, and while I'm a master of disguise, it does take a little bit of ground work to do things properly.

Anyway got to make this short, the Tour De France is about to finish in Paris and I need to be there to make my annual cycle with the leaders up the Champs Elysee.

Shalom

It' Raining Again
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: With my blow up bed

My my, what a week that was. All this f*cking rain did my little shelter on Clapham Common no good at all, but at least it kept all those f*cking George Michael fans away from me. Bunch of c*nts they are, just because I'm living in the bushes for a while they think they can come and harrass me for a while. I mean the other night one of them asked me for a blow job. I thought that's handy as my blow up bed was in need of some extra air, why the f*ck he dropped his f*cking trousers I have no idea, but I soon sent him on his way. If you offer to blow into something for me you'd better have a good set of lungs I can tell you. I like my Mossad air bed nice and firm.

Communications are still a problem for me as running cables to hook up to street lights is proving  bit difficult. Apparently since a bunch of thieving gippo's last camped on the Common, the council upgraded security on the lamp posts. Even my Israeli Army knife couldn't crack it. These bastard Arabs ruin everything for everyone else...can you see why we like to bomb the shit out of them from time to time. Anyway in an effort to restore contact with Tel Aviv I went down to Argos and picked up their top of the range Walkie Talkie set. Haven't heard anything from Tel Aviv yet, but I know they work. If I could handle more than one person on my bike I'd be making a fortune now with all the minicabs I've heard. Maybe I should get the Tandem out of storage.

OK, coffee's getting cold plus my Big Mac is beginning to look a bit angry at me. I was well pissed off this morning when they said they didn't have any Bacon Cheeseburgers available. How can I be a good Jew boy without any Bacon inside me before I go to Synagogue?

 Shalom

Lycra shorts and all that
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Munich

OK, just a quick update as I'm feeling pretty lazy today and the price of Coffee is pretty high in this particular Starbucks. I think I'll start using McDonald's or something in future, much cheaper and plastic chairs so much more practical.

I've been getting a few e-mails from the "happy" community claiming I'm some sort of anti-poof character. I never realised there were so many proctologists among them, as many have offered to "exercise my arsehole". Well I think I should let you all know that my arse is in perfectly good working order, but I shall certainly take you up on your kind offers if I think it starts to get lazy. On the other hand I have to strongly condemn those who think I don't like you gay boys. I'll have you know that Mossad is an equal opportunities employer - except for Arabs...we don't employ those - and take a very strong line against comments against anyone because of their sexual orientation (I'm reading this out of the Mossad rule book). Not sure what part applies to you bum bandits but I'm sure it's in there somewhere.

My new safe house is taking a bit longer to put together than initially thought, so I've got a few more weeks living with nature in Clapham. I'm getting used to it now, but it'll be nice to get back to a solidly built bunker with the state of the art communications links with Tel Aviv. At the moment I fly a kite with a message on it and hope it gets picked up, I'm not sure how many of my messages are getting through.

Finally I'm hoping that some historical archives of my previous life on the Internet will start to make an appearance soon. Watch this space.

 Shalom

Saturday already!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Escape from Colditz

F*ck me, that week flew by. Somehow word got back to the lads at work I'd been caught cottaging, and all week I've had to put up with my locker being filled with f*cking Tesco bags. C*nts...some bastard even jammed a trolley in one of the disabled bogs and fitted carrier bags over the wheels. They think they're f*cking funny, just like that time that bunch of Arabs somehow cracked Mossad's secret e-mail code and sent an e-mail to about 5 million Palestinians inviting them to a reunion. Moshe wasn't happy about that I can tell you.

Anyway I thought I'd try a different Synagogue today, as I am an international man of mystery I thought nobody would recognize me. Fat chance, as soon as I got there I noticed a number 93 bus parked in the car park. Just my f*cking luck, and sure enough there was the old window cleaner/bus driver. I don't know what the deal is with him, he was handing out leaflets advertising a "facts machine for sale". Either he has some computer based reference book, or it's a typing error.

I'm still camping out on Clapham Common, I was going to try Shepherd's Bush Green but I don't know what's worse. Drunken scotsmen called Teflon, or some fat geezer called Tony who wants to cuddle up to me every night. I figured I can handle the Clapham Common brigade easier, and I've found that nailing George Michael pictures around the trees on the common seems to give them something else to do so they leave me alone. All good stuff.

OK, better get going, my coffee is getting cold.

 Shalom

Up the Junction
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: The Guns Of Navarone

I don't think moving to Clapham Common is going to help me much. I thought I'd be getting away from the Quentins of this world, instead I got a lousy nights sleep, as some geezer who claimed to be a former Labour party MP from Wales kept trying to get under my carefully constructed shelter...the new safe house can't come quick enough.

I've found building the shelter to be a tricky operation. My previous survival training was all based in the desert, and apart from digging a hole there's not much you can do with sand. I do remember one Mossad trainee who had the bright idea of shovelling the sand on top of himself, making himself completely undetectable. Great idea, and it worked really well. At least it did until I drove over him in my company issued tank. After that Mossad issued new instructions telling us that if we were to do the same thing, we should shove a bright orange flag through the top. Ok, no one ever got run over again, but for some reason the Arabs seemed to find us easier to pick out.

Still even with all my current problems, I still find time for a Bagel, and this morning I did the Brick Lane run with no problems. I was a bit worried about leaving my bike out on the Common, but I've learned as long as I don't take the saddle off nobody seems particularly interested in it, you'd think it'd be the other way around, but I'm getting the feeling places like this attract a certain kind of person. I think I'll send this valuable piece of information to Tel Aviv, make come in useful for our blackmail department.

OK, back to work tomorrow, can hardly wait, the bogs at the hospital are paradise compared to the ones at the prison, plus the paper is softer.

 

Shalom

Inside and Out
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Tennis with Tony Blackburn

Well I'm well pissed off. It's been a real shitty week and I've spent most of it in a Jail cell after I went cottaging with that geezer Quentin I met while I was camping on Hampstead Heath.

Now I don't know about you lot, but when someone tells me he enjoys cottaging, I assume he means he shares my interest in visiting quaint English villages looking at the cottages and drinking Tea. Well not this c*nt! It seemed a bit unusual that we never went to catch a train, and he had a couple of Tesco bags stuffed in his pocket. In fact we never made it past the bogs on the Heath. I thought he got caught short as he headed for the trap, I also thought he just didn't want to get his feet dirty as he put them in the Tesco bag. Imagine my surprise when he asked me to join him in there and put my feet in a Tesco bag too. Now I know the bogs on the Heath can be a bit dodgy, but surely he would have been just as safe with me hanging around outside the trap door. Anyway to cut a long story short, just as I was about to do that to keep him happy, a copper walks in and promptly nicks us both. Turns out cottaging isn't as innocent as I thought it was. I've spent the week trying to convince everyone that I'm no nonce. They even had a good laugh at my mysterious ID card with the Star of David on it...bastards...and I've had to face some pretty tough questions from Tel Aviv...such as wouldn't I have been better off using Kwik Save bags...they have a point there.

So today I'm keeping a low profile, no doubt word of my arrest has reached the Synagogue. Even though in the end they accepted I was an innocent party, you can be sure I'd be showered in carrier bags if I showed up there, although once they put a 10p tax on the things that won't happen. As for my safe house move...hopefully that'll get sorted out this week...for now I'm camping out on Clapham Common instead...well away from the Quentins of this world.

 Shalom

Tour De France
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Kraftwerk

Well what a week it's been. All my stuff has been packed into boxes and taken away by the Mossad movers to a destination so secret even I don't know where it is. So at the moment I'm living under a couple of tree branches on Hampstead Heath, where I have to say all the other geezers here seem to make a lot of noise at night although they are pretty friendly.

Today is the start of the Tour De France, and I've got lots of e-mails asking me why I'm not taking part. Well I've been there and done that, and as I'm allergic to Lycra it's probably not a good idea for me to ride for long periods anymore. I might be circumcised but the bollocks still itch a lot. Besides it's not as tough as they make out, the Tour De Cricklewood is much harder, those disabled ramps in the IKEA car park are pretty substantial, you really earn that polka dot jersey let me tell you.

Other news is that as a result of the recent happenings in London, we ain't employing any more Muslim quacks for a while, especially since we caught one syphoning petrol out of the old cripple ambulance we have parked up. Also I've applied to join a new elite NHS cycling force who will cycle round the streets of London ready to react to the first sign of an dodgy happenings. I think I stand a good chance of getting in, first off I'm a fantastic cyclist, second off my time in an Israeli Army MASH unit gives me far more battlefield experience than any of the other nonces applying.

Anyway better wrap things up, some nice bloke called Quentin has just rustled my branches and tells me it's time to go. Apparently he knows some nice cottages we can visit...I love those old English cottages and wasn't aware there were so many in the Hampstead area, he even has a name for the activity...he calls it cottaging...sounds like fun.

 

Shalom

I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Airport

F*ck me, what's it all coming to? Everyone's getting all excited about a couple of geezers who were late for their flight up in Glasgow. Get a grip you dozy bastards, how many of you lot have wanted to get as close as you could to the terminal? I mean, if you've got a lot of luggage you wouldn't want to walk it very far would you? Also wearing some stuff around your body leaves your hands free to do somthing else like carrying an Uzi or something. Anyway even if they were terrorists I'm sure they'd have had someone there who could have taken them down with a head shot...if not then standards are slipping...I'm available to carry out some sharpshooting training at very short notice if necessary...just e-mail me at the usual address.

Still all this stuff gave us all something to talk about at the Synagogue yesterday, despite my opinion there's quite a few people who quite like Mercedes and can't believe that they didn't use a Fiat Punto or something to plant a bomb in. Typical Jewboys, always looking at the cost...and I can't wait until that bloke turns up at the car pound asking for his car back...his credit card bill is going to be something else...bomb disposal experts don't come cheap, I know how much I charge, and let me tell you, a box set of Bernie Winters is pretty high end.

Brick Lane had pretty tight security this morning, even searched the saddlebag on my bike, I did consider flashing the mysterious ID card with the Star of David on it but I didn't want to make a fuss. Also the Bagel Bake have installed their new Pork detector at the door, they're concerned that some people aren't using the Bagels for non kosher puposes and might be stuffing something like Bacon in them...they might be onto something too, the number of people turned away because they'd stopped at Tescos on the way down was incredible...they should do what I do...get the Bagels first.

Hopefully the move to my new safe house will go through without any problems, Mossad have found me a nice little place opposite a Mosque which means I can do intelligence gathering from the comfort of my foxhole which I plan to dig in the front garden. It just needs painting with that stuff they use on those yankee spy planes and I'll be in business. That does mean that I'll have to pitch a tent on Hampstead Heath for a while until it's done...almost like old times when me and Benny were camped out in the desert during 'Desert Storm 1' looking for Iraqui Scud missiles...but that's another story.

 Shalom

Man I'm busy
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: I'm Turning Japanese

Ok, I know I haven't been around much lately, a couple of reasons for that. First off I've been advised that my ID might have been accidently revealed so I need to move safe house. Apparently when I signed up for a couple of shifts in the local McDonald's they left my application form on the counter. I'm pretty gutted, I was looking forward to wearing that trendy cap with the little 'm' on it. I know it's trendy because I see loads of kids wearing them. It's all part of Mossad trying to reconnect with the kids on the street.

Secondly I've been working undercover again, this time driving an ambulance around the west end. Lucky for you lot I was...who else could have sorted out that car bomb that quickly. I got pretty pissed off with the local law wanting to call in the bomb squad to sort it out. As I've always said why f*ck around. The dozy c*nts who plant these things always wire them up the same way. So I just strolled over and using my NHS issued scissors I cut the red and earthed the blue. Problem solved. Mind you my task was made easier by them planting it in a f*cking Mercedes. Mossad have been using those things for years so breaking into it was a piece of piss. To tell the truth they're a shit car...give me a Renault Laguna any day.

So I'm typing away surrounded by boxes. It's only when you move you realise how much junk you've got. I discovered stuff I thought I'd lost, like a packet of Mossad issued Cyanide tablets, a couple of black outfits which don't fit anymore, an old orange hi-vi from my days working on that Underground railway somewhere in London, and an old Curlywurly I found under one of my armchairs. That had been worrying me for years...I'm glad I found that...might tuck into it later.

OK, well I'd better head down the Synagogue, the window cleaner reckons he can get me a good deal on some windolene and seeing as I'm going to have to clean my windows I think it's too good a deal to miss. I'm not paying that w*nker to clean them though...last time I did that my fax machine went missing.

 

Shalom

No time to do anything
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Mission Impossible
When you're a busy international man of mystery like me it's hard to find the time to relax and idle about on the computer and update this thing.
Anyway I just got back from the synagogue and thought I'd bring everyone up to date on my goings on.
First off I'm hot on the trail of the Mossad test paper smuggler, a tip off led me to a mud hut in outer Mongolia. I haven't really checked it out yet, but I sent the geezer an e-mail so I'm hoping he'll confess. It might stretch the Mossad budget to get a fleet of black cars sent out there to terrorise him.
NHS budget cuts have hit the hospital and they've scrapped the Polish classes they were giving us all. Pity it wasn't Zulu or bullshit we wanted to teach, I'm fluent in both. The other effect of the budget cuts is that they won't pay for us to inflate our trolley tyres down at the local Esso anymore. Pity, that was a nice little scam as I got the bike tyres done at the same time.
Not much else going on, I have a Milk Tray mission planned for tonight so I'd better make sure my grapple hooks are in good shape and that the dry cleaners took that stain off my black outfit.

Shalom