http://www.canadians.ca/top_ten_myths.htm
Canadians have access to the same technology as Americans and the rest of the civilized world.
The last time I was in Canada, this four year old was playing in a giant mushroom fountain - naked. I guess they haven't invented bathing suits yet. Plus everyone follows the metric system - how old is that piece? When will the rest of the world convert to the most confusing system of weights and measurements (except to Americans)??? I guess they can't handle it, eh? EH?
Is there is snow everywhere all year long? Anyone who has spent a summer in Vancouver, Toronto, or Montreal will strongly disagree with this.
Yeah, there's no snow year round, but how long is your summer? Six weeks, eight weeks in some parts? How hot does it get in Canada? Not very hot. No myth, just fact, it's further from the Equator.
Canadians all say "eh" and "aboot"? Sure, some of us do, but Canada is a big country with many different people who speak many different languages with different dialects.
So at least they admit it, eh? EH!
Canadians have just as many, if not more; we just have fewer murders. If you want stats and figures, see Michael Moore's excellent documentary, Bowling for Columbine.
More guns, eh? But they don't even know how to use them! What is the point of a gun? To kill things. So actually, Americans know how to use their guns WAY better than Canada ever will. How many wars has Canada been in? None - oh wait, they will argue - "oh, we sent 100 mounties to Iraq or 200 nurses in World War II". Great - you get a F for effort.
Canada's national sport is Hockey. Not completely true. While Hockey is very popular, and considered our national pastime, our national sport is Lacrosse. Oh, and we invented Baseball too.
Lacrosse is gay. I refuse to even acknowledge it as a sport. Baseball has gone so downhill in America. Hey, Canada is down to one ONE pro baseball team now.
Canadians policemen are all Mounties dressed in red uniforms? Our cops are the same as American cops. The Mounties usually only dress up in red for for special occasions.
This is not true. In fact, Canadians do not even produce automobiles. The prefered method of transportation in Canada is snowshoe or mule. The horse is very prestigous, so only the police get them - it is also the fastest animal on the road, so they can catch drunk American tourists. And they probably don't use their guns right either - shoot to kill, that's the point.
We need to stop importing Canadian music. It's just a bunch of pot-smoking hippy emo chick-flick punk shit. Sum 41? Bare Naked Ladies? Celion Dion? Shania Twain? Nickelback? Yeah. They suck. Stop. Please.
Guess what? Canadian money sucks. Canada was too much of a weenie bitch to shoot the British in the colonial times - they were eventually granted the right to rule themselves by Great Britain in 1867! It is a historical fact that Britain just didn't care anymore since Canada sucked so much. And Canadian money? It's only worth anything in Canada. Does Canada accept American money? Yes. Does America accept Canadian money? Hell no.
Here's the thing - there's so much empty land in Canada. All big nations have it - America puts farms there - Russia puts prisons and missile silos. What does Canada put? Nothing. Here's what we should do:
Canada, Present Day
But now,
Oh, Pamela Anderson is from Canada too. Get it now?
