Why is this stupid book so critically acclaimed? For those of you who don't know, Charlotte's Web is a book about some redneck family and their gay pet pig named Wilbur. The daughter of the farm is really gross and pulls out her hair and eats it. One day, the farmer is drunk and wants to kill Wilbur the dumb asshole pig, but then he ends up shooting himself in the eye with a chicken-bone sling shot and dies. So the girl gets all pissed off and wets herself - then a fat ass rat comes along and eats everything in site, including the spider and part of Wilbur…Wait - is that what happened?

NO, but that would've been a lot more cool to read in the third grade than this crappy book. I DON'T GET IT! WHY DOES EVERYONE PRAISE THE RETARDED AND BORDERLINE GAY PIG?????? HE DOESN'T DO SHIT!!! THE SPIDER DOES ALL THE WORK!!! WHY DON'T THE FARMBOYS UNDERSTAND THAT THE SPIDER IS THE "RADIANT" ANIMAL, NOT THE FUCKING PIG!!!!!

That pisses me off so much - just like everyone who credits Helen Keller for doing so many things. Uhh, yeah, I'm not saying Helen Keller is bad, but she gets all the fucking credit. Who taught the blind and deaf brat to communicate? Did Helen Keller teach herself? No, because Anne Sullivan did, but does anyone give her any credit for doing something nearly impossible???? Does anyone even know that name? Does anyone give Charlotte credit for writing complex English words in her web??? NO, NOT A DAMN THING! I HATED THAT STUPID BOOK AND THE STUPID CARTOON MOVIE. If I discovered that web, I would have marketed the spider to Disney or something and shoot the pig since he would probably just fuck things up anyway.

Go to hell Wilbur. Or a rib cook off. Whatever.

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