I hate when I drive anywhere out of the metropolis limits, because I know, lurking midair over the crests of hills and open two lane highways are radio waves unfit for the human ears - country music. Yes, whether the rhinestone cowboy stereotype is singing about his truck, his dog, drinkin' moonshine, or about his woman (or lack of), it severely pisses me off, with its twangs and fiddles, with its whiney southern accents…It is a known fact that the elevator to hell plays country music.
Lyrics to a Kenny Chensey song 'We had a dog named [unpronounceable hillbilly word] living in the front yard he liked sleeping out on the top of the car, he'd drink beer out of the mason jar and he climb up on everyone bed'.
Lyrics to a Toby Keith song 'If I Was Jesus, I'd have some real long hair, A robe and some sandals, is exactly what I'd wear, I'd be the guy at the party, turnin' water to wine, Yeah me and my disciples, we'd have a real good time. Ooh and I'd lay my life down for you (woooooh) And I show you who's the boss (woooooh)I'd forgive you and adore you, While I was hangin' on your cross, If I Was Jesus." Didn't this cracker already write a song about how America kicks ass, and we will be kicking osama's ass, or whipping it out in public or something…
On a drive from Chicago to Cleveland, don't fear the traffic - fear the 102 miles of Indiana plains - for the six country stations (and two Christian stations) await…