The Weirdest Dream I ever had took place at a Motel 6, somewhere in West Virginia…
This dream played out like a movie - I was in it, but it wasn't through my point of view or anything. Very cinematic.
Apparently, there were people who kept getting sick via mosquito bites. When the people got bitten, no one would see them for a while, then they would come back all weird - like they had lobotomies or something - and they talked all monotone and loved Jesus. Apparently, I found this out in my dream through my friends at my old high school.
That's when, out of nowhere, comes a bunch of mosquitos. And scary music ensues, just like in a horror movie. My friends were slow and shitty - so I eluded the mosquitos while they are were feasted upon - or so I thought.
At this point, the school is abandoned. I have lost the mosquitos, but they are still somewhere. And I need to try and make a daring escape. After a little bit of cat-and-mouse type hiding, one eventually finds me, and bites me out of nowhere.
So I'm pissed and I hit the mosquito against the brick wall - killing it. Apparently, that is the only way to keep from going crazy. If you kill the mosquito that bites you, you won't go crazy (doesn't make much sense, but whatever). So I think I'm okay. But that's when a confident Martha Stewart struts around the corner. Apparently, she is the evil genius behind the mosquitos, trying to make everyone perfect.
Then there is a flashback in the dream, which reveals Martha's motive. Apparently in the flashback, I babysat Martha's child in Hawaii in a red jeep. We were driving, and I wasn't paying attention and ended up driving off the top of a five story parking garage. The jeep fell off in slow motion, and landed on the roof. Later, firefighters and EMT aided me, with only cuts and bruises, but Martha's kid died on impact. Martha Stewart was so pissed, since had nothing to live for with no kid (and apparently no husband) - she went crazy and started biology experiments in her basement 24 hours a day - and came up with this insane mosquito idea. The mosquitos would bite everyone and make them perfect, so no more innocent lives would be lost like her child's. End of flashback.
So while she's explaining all of this, she all like "You think you've won. You think you outsmarted me?". And that's when she hits a button and a TV screen comes out and shows that the mosquito that bit me wasn't dead. He was in the back of an ambulance and EMTs had tiny little mosquito-sized tools and defibrillators, and they saved the insect. His pulse WAS flat-lined at the beginning, but they saved it - and tense music played once his heart started going again.
Of course, I was freak out so I ran away, but after a while, my legs got heavy and my vision blurred. I heard Martha Stewart laughing. Eventually I blacked out.
I came to, strapped down in a dentist chair, with my eyelids also forced open. Martha was strutting around, with a remote. There was a TV in front of me. Martha explained that the brainwashing was for my own good. She put in some violent eye drops and dimmed the lights. On the screen was a loop of someone eating spaghetti - Martha kept saying, "Your favorite food is now spaghetti" - Then on the screen was a loop of people at church, and Martha said, "Your new favorite song is We Love Jesus". Stuff like this kept going on and faster and faster, like a montage -
Then I woke up in my dream - yes, I thought I was dreaming in my dream. Except I was in the back seat of a rental minivan with my family. I was telling them, man, I had the weirdest dream! And after a couple of minutes, I convinced myself it was just a dream. Then my mom was like, "What song do you want to put on, dear?" and I was like "Umm…We Love Jesus, of course!". And she put on the song, and the camera panned out of our van on the highway, with happy Christian rock in the background, only to see our van pass a giant road sign with Martha Stewart on it (it said something like, Now Entering the State of Perfection). The end.
Then I woke up for real, and I HAD to write that down. I don't think I'll ever top the insanity of that dream. Oh man, I need to drink something…