Catch-phrases - people can't get enough of them. Bling-bing, Your Fired, You are the weakest link goodbye, I see dead people, etc. They are all around, but eventually they get ruined. Do you know why? Because old people ruin them.

It's fine when the phrase gets started - it's fine when you say it to your friends in a pathetic attempt to be witty - it's even fine for Saturday Night Live - but it's people like your parents who ruin pop culture. At first, you laugh at the novelty of someone over forty trying to be cool by making references to pop culture - but then it's just annoying, when grandma mentions you have some nice bling.

I propose that everyone over the age of 40 has to wear a set of soundproof earmuffs. This way, they will never hear a new catch phrase or buzzword ever again. It wouldn't matter if they read the word or phrase, because they would be trying to poorly imitate the person who created it. And to make sure no one gets angry cause they have to wear earmuffs half of their life, the earmuffs should play easy-listening for their enjoyment. Actually, I think a lot of people over 40 would love the idea of wearing soundproof earmuff radios all day.

If there are no electronic devices on (computers, televisions, radios, phones, etc), then the earmuffs could be removed - hey, I'm not inhumane. But if they try to watch TV without them on - WHAM, a high-pitched, deafening siren will go off, that would lead to permanent hearing loss if played for more than 30 seconds. This way, they won't be tempted to try and finagle the system.

No more premature deaths in popular culture phrases and sayings.

Back to Main