I hate NASCAR. Why would you? It's fucking boring. I mean, there are a lot of boring sports, but even they can be interesting to watch for short periods of time.
What's wrong with NASCAR? Plenty. First of all, it is the only sport that takes breaks right in the middle of action. For no reason, let's go to commercials. We're due for some commercials - and trust me, you won't miss anything.
NASCAR gets some points for be dangerous and very fast - but when you are watching it, does it really look that fast? No. There is nothing to relate the speed to. We should throw random obstacles on the track or something, just to make things interesting. Rally races, like through woods and stuff, is a lot cooler. How about just simulating car chases like on TV? It'll be on a closed set like NASCAR, but it wouldn't suck when Jeff Gordon has to jump a raising drawbridge in the last straight-away in order to win.
Another thing wrong with NASCAR - commercials everywhere. I don't think football players wear Coca-Cola logos on their helmets. I understand it costs a lot to maintain a car, but I don't like watching commercials race. Viagra vs. Corn Flakes vs. McDonald's. No thanks.
Finally, I hate NASCAR because it infiltrating national networks. It's SO BORING TO WATCH, EVEN MORE BOING THAN GOLF (maybe). And they should use boring, standard soap box cars - they should race hot rods or imports or Ferraris or tanks or semi trucks filled with chemicals - now that would rock. Or use famous cars, like the Trans-Am from Knight Rider against a James Bond Aston Martin (spelling). See, Strip away the decals, every car is the same. There's almost no strategy, except, when do I get gas, this lap or the next one?
Wait I forget, I also hate NASCAR because it is so fucking long. 500 laps seem like too much?? It should be less than 100. If you can't accomplish anything in less than 100 laps, don't bother. If you want to have a long race, it should be 20,000 laps or something ridiculous, so the drivers will be fighting sleep deprivation and boredom. Everyone should also race the first lap in reverse just to get shit started. And there should be annoying backseat drivers present in every car, nagging the driver to death about thinks they should have done differently. That would be awesome. Well, kind of. And race in simulated weather, like rain, snow, and hurricanes. And they would have to pee out the windows, or in their pants. Anyone who stops is disqualified. And no pit crews in the stamina race, you have to pump the gas yourself and rotate your own tires. Yes!
NASCAR isn't even a sport. All televised NASCAR specials should be replaced with equally useless informericals. At least this way, you'll get off your ass and do something with your day, unless of course, you love informercials.