Tales from the Theatre

Or to be more appropriately titled, "Heigh-ho the glamourous life!" I've had a play come and go, and am three weeks out from the next one, and just (here at the "what in the world?" hour of 6:30 AM) thought I'd take a minute to convey some amusing little anecdotes from the theatre. Me, being me, and not telling stories well, this will probably only amuse ME, as more than half my life is a, "You had to be there," moment.

For the recent, "Radio TBS" , in the second act, the story line revolves around a drive-by nativity scene that the residents of the 'Luna Del Mar' trailer park are producing. (And I use the word 'producing' here, loosely) There's a scene where Pauline is frustrated with being the wise-man who offers up myrrh, not knowing exactly what myrrh really is (does anyone really?) and not seeing the pracitcality of such gift to bring to a "baby shower." Therefore at one point, as the other "wiseman" (yes, there were two for this scene, the Bible never says ANYTHING about the number of the magi) offers up GOLD!, FRANKENSCENCE!, instead of offering up MYRHH, she scratches around and finds a pot (A pot, not pot) and offers up, triumphantly, POTTERY!!!! (Bet all of you who missed the show feel bad about it now - I havent even gotten to the part of, "I'm an independent sheep, I don't NEED 'tendin'"). I said all that to tell THIS: On night two, backstage, pre-show, said pottery was broken by an actress who shall remain anonymous, by exclaiming, "See, it's just plastic" and proceded to thunk it against a wall, to which it did break!! The best part of this, and the part I like because it was handled BEAUTIFULLY by my tech-goddesses WITHOUT me having to make any decisions, was that they scrambled to find a replacement, to no avail. All I was told via headset was, "Housam, we've got it covered." Music to my ears!! So, by the time we reach said scene, I'd forgotten all about it, as I was busy managing light cues and sound cues and quite honestly, doing medicore at best. I see "Alvin" proclaim GOLD! FRANKENSCENCE! and then "Pauline" scratches around and produces TUPPERWARE. I was thrilled.

The first act revolves around a radio talk show (hence the name of the play) that takes place in the trailer park club house. Part of the show revolves around on-air commercials, one being for "Luna Del Mar's Monkey Emporium" . This causing much glee for the set designer, oh wait, that's me, as I found a few monkeys to put up in our HORRIBLY tacky fake palm trees - which DID NOT match - hehehehe. At one point, "Virgil" moved a long-tailed stuffed monkey from the tree to the table and plays with it, hanging it by the tail from his microphone. The table for the broadcast was up on a platform, so when the monkey inevetibley falls to the ground and was virutally irretrievable, it's quite obvious. I could not resist whispering over the headsets to my crew in what I'm sure was a bad Scottish accent, "We've got a monkey down!!!" (Which will only be funny to people who've seen, 'So I Married an Axe Murderer.")

And finally, lesson learned from last minute set-dressers - Hay is slippery on wooden floors/platforms!!! We didn't set the hay until the DAY of performance, due to our general laziness about not wanting to clean it up for mere rehearsals, as just having it up there plays hell with everyone's allergies, but I was going to have real hay, as I gave in on not having a live-baby cow up on stage. (sigh) My tech goddesses are both very tall, willowy, lithe girls that move quickly and with grace, UNTIL they are trying to accomplish a rapid set change in dim lights with hay that they have never moved on before. HIGHLY FUNNY from my vantage in the crow's nest, not to mention the , Housam, I almost got killed!" exclamatories I heard on the headset. No actors or crew were harmed in the Vagabond Players production of Radio TBS.

I would LOVE to go into "Hay Fever" stories, as that is our next gem. (To be performed April 27th and 29th.) However, due to recent events, I'm hauling to school early. I'm sure I'll write about it myself sometime, however, this story has not played itself out yet, so you can just read what happened yesterday.

Leaving for LONDON in two days!!! WOOOOOOOOO