Bye
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I spent the days proceeding my departure for Japan by saying goodbye to friends, including a small going away party, and not packing. I was very nervous about all the things I had to do before I left. I’m not normally nervous about these kind of things, but I had to sell my car, take care of financial things and business type stuff. It wasn’t like any of the individual tasks were very difficult, but I stress about anything that has to do with the government or a paper involves me signing my name. I was also finishing school the day before I left. I woke up one morning with a swollen jaw from grinding my teeth—I don’t consciously do this and the only reason I know is because an old roommate told me about this tic. I’ve developed have a click on the left side of my jaw when I open my it to wide because of the grinding.

It’s weird saying goodbye to people who you won’t see for a year and probably more. I had done a good job of isolating myself from people, mostly my former college friends, so the process wasn’t so bad. I actually feel embarrassingly bad that I didn’t sense I would miss most people. The girl I broke up with was not really upset, but then we had started dating with the end in sight since I was planning on going to Japan when I started seeing her. The three or so friends I’d kept up I wasn’t very attached to, except for Lawson. He's just one of those people you have a onceinalifetime understanding with, and you don’t know why, but you just click. I can talk about anything with him and it’s instantly amusing. I think we had a conversation about sidewalk cracks once and it was awesome. Leaving the continent makes you realize these kind of things.

I’m not very good at hugging people that are related to me, except my older sister, but she was in Hawaii. So saying goodbye to grandma was strange. I don’t really know what to say at goodbyes, since saying goodbye seems so superficial to me. The way I envision a perfect goodbye is me saying, “alright, I’m going,” and the other person saying, “ok” and then both of us walking away. Liv, my younger sister understands this. She was also in Hawaii at the time.

I eventually did pack, and looking back on that now that I’m in Japan, I did an awesome job. I had researched multiple sights on what I would need and wouldn’t. The best things I packed were cds, my cd player, my computer, camera, dress clothes, and 3000 dollars. I have to say, carrying large amounts of cash around is an excellent diversion. If I’m ever board again in my life, all I have to do is withdraw a few G’s and take a stroll in a public place. Dramatic action movie music starts playing in your head—you know the kind I mean; it starts with some strings and then a thick beat drops and an electric guitar plays a counter-anti melody. I think I just made up that musical term “counter-anti melody.”

The orientation at the hotel was pretty pointless. The only helpful part was chatting with some people going to my prefecture and getting our visa and plane tickets.

My mom really held it together until the last few seconds of my leaving, which really impressed me. I didn’t cry, regrettably. I wish I could break down at times like that—it’d score me a few more points in the Will I’d wager, but for some reason, my Norwegian ancestors have endowed me with iron nerves. I thought she was going to make it—we hugged and she just said, “Bye, Brendty,” but then she pulled in for a second and lost it. Hugging my dad is always weird—I always go for the handshake and he goes for the hug and the result is an awkward side hug.

They brought us to the airport in a bus, with our luggage in a separate truck. I won’t detail the airport procedures, but it was a lot of waiting and hauling large suitcases. I don’t know why, but I always think it’s so amusing to watch a skinny, attractive girl try to pull her ridiculously large bags. It reminds me of a wet cat for some reason—the way they sulk. Even more amusing are the guys that are not in their league that try to help them. That last image sort of encapsulates the male misconception of relationships—we have no idea what women want from us, but that’s no excuse to stop trying. I’d be a liar if I never did something nice for a girl I knew would never look at me again. And I am a liar, so I’ll say that I haven’t.