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Japanese Haircut
So I’ve been putting off getting a haircut for over four months, which is much shorter than my usual haircut procrastination, which averages around 6-17 months or so.
I got my butt out the door finally on a hung over Sunday—I spent the previous evening at a “bonenkai,” which is a Japanese forgettheyear party, which involved the employment of lots of alcohol and karaoke, and was with all Japanese friends associated with the calligraphy teacher at my school, who happens to be the nicest person in the world, so it was awesome—and I dropped into this salon I’d passed many times on my way to the mall. It looked a little flashy, with good-looking women—and good-looking men—but I was in no mood to shop around for things. For some reason, my patience for chores has been rushed here—maybe it’s Japanese culture, maybe it’s the number of caffeinated beverages I consume, or maybe I’m just an impatient jerk, so I just walked in. It was windy as hell and raining out, so my hair might have been the reason they were smiling. You never know here, since seeing a non-asian person is reason enough to react in any number of ways.
I should have known that a Japanese haircut is an ordeal of it’s own class. The first thing I said was that I just wanted a haircut, but maybe the word I used for haircut was “super-sweet new style that rides the line of postmodern fashion,” or maybe that’s the only word they have for “haircut,” who knows. I think it started with the samurais—they got some pretty sweet ‘dos.
After I sat down, there was some paperwork, of which I could only understand the basics-name, address, whatever—but then there were all kinds of questions about my hairstyle and everything. I’ve noticed how Japanese communication has almost a complete lack of questioning or criticism. When you talk to someone, you tell them every freaking detail you know about the situation, and if you’re listening, you say, “hai” every few seconds (or sometimes every second on the second—no kidding) because they are too shy or think it’s rude to ask questions. Also, they got to know everything about something before they do it. They make a plan and stick to it come hell or tsunami.
Later, the dude came over to show me some pictures of guys that look like 80’s rock stars, and I just kind of nodded at one and he seemed satisfied. He did kind of squint and look at my hair for a second, puzzled, but accepted the challenge, apparently.
There were no uniforms, which surprised me, so it was young people decked out in all kinds of sweet clothes. It’s as if you mixed 70’s clothes, 80’s clothes, and some old sci-fi uniforms together with some cowboy boots and zippers. Then there are the hairstyles. I’ve never felt so uncool in my life.
Another thing I’ve noticed. I’m in denial of how much I stick out here. All I see are Japanese people, so I forget how white and tall I am. Looking into the enormous mirror, that looked as though it were a salvaged piece from a very large mirror that had previously been broken, was a good reminder of what I am. I felt really big.
I don’t think the guy cutting my hair was gay, which made things more awkward for me. When two straight guys have to touch each other, it’s always a little awkward. If the dude were gay, at least one of us would enjoy the process.
So in the interest of excluding the excessive details, the process involved at least ten different scissors, a hair dryer, an electric shaver the size of a small pencil, two trips to the washbasin, a massage, styling gel, and an awkward, broken Japanese conversation. I speak less and less Japanese as I realize how poor I am at it, so much of my conversations with commerce personnel are comprised of saying how difficult it is to learn Japanese, where I’m from, where I’ve been in Japan, me asking the other person how many ninjas they’ve battled in their life, and me being disappointed when I learn that there are no more ninjas in the world.
Over an hour later, and after a bill that would have made my dad scream like a schoolgirl, I got my choice of green, yellow or blue 2006 planners (I went with blue, although the lemon yellow was tempting), a schedule of the shop, and a punch card that would save me about half the cost of a haircut after like another 20 haircuts. So I’ll have to be here another 10 years to redeem that baby, and that’s just the kind of ridiculous goal that would keep me here that long.
Posted by blog2/whiteguyinjapan
at 12:01 AM JST
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