Posted October 20th, 2004
Yes, this is indeed the final episode of Chat Radio. Kinda sad that it's come
to close, but not really. I mean, who actually ever read these things anyway? If
I didn't have to go through them to edit and correct, I sure wouldn't have.
Yeah, there are a few good lines in some of them, but overall, it's just
slightly more entertaining than reading a conversation between two people other
than yourself. Hell, you see how there's no pretty tables or anything? That's how
much I don't care. And really, it looks fine the way it is right now. No need
for frills and such. I'm giving you coloured text! That should be enough!
I'm pretty sure that if you are actually reading this, you've been through at
least one Chat Radio before, so I'm not even going to give the old spiel about
what in the Hell this is and what we had set out to accomplish. And that means
that even I have heard enough of my ramblings, so Imma quite right now.
Edwin: Hello everybody!
ChatRad is back!
Ryan: Much to your dismay, I, as well, am back
Edwin: It's the final ChatRad ever folks, so if you were a fan of the series, it's sadly come to a close.
Ryan: Yes.
Maybe
Edwin:
If
you weren't a fan of the series, you are probably happy to indifferent...
What
do you mean 'maybe'?
Ryan: You never know. Maybe someday someone will stumble upon this archive and bring it to the big time.
Edwin: If
I could get paid for this, man that'd be sweet...
Ryan: Hell yes
Edwin:
Anyhow,
there's going to be little to no continuity here... so don't get into this with
high expectations.
Ryan: That got a load off my chest. Continuity isn't exactly one of my
fortes
Edwin: Yeah, same on this end.
So,
you have any idea where we can start at this?
Ryan: Um. Where did we
usually start?
Edwin: Well, something about weather or something... it's been like a year since the last one, so I really have no clue
Ryan: Ooh. A weather report... with sexy results!
Edwin:
I hope this involves someone other than you...
Ryan: To be
honest, I forget where that originated, but I know it's still a running joke on Fark
Edwin: (on a side note to readers, Ryan's predictions of 'sexy' things are usually never accurate)
Ryan: D'oh
Edwin: Okay then... no weather?
Ryan: Sure.
Edwin: I'm off to get a drink.
Ryan: Up north there's a cold front, but during the week we'll see a nice amount of breeze and sun, with just a hint of morning dew to keep things fresh.
And cookies. But of course, the cookies are for a select few. You know who you are.
Edwin: I hope there'll be milk...
Ryan: That's just not going to happen.
Edwin:
Well
then, the weather can go to Hell. I hear they've got quite a drought down
there...
Ryan: Probably, but I haven't been in a while now, so I can't be sure.
Edwin:
You
know I've got my weekend cottage there.
Ryan: Ah yes
Edwin:
Oh
yeah, got a great view of the condemned from the living room window.
But
back on topic.
Ryan: Yeah
Edwin:
Next on the talky agenda is... horoscopes! Yes...
Ryan: Oh boy.
Edwin: Aquarius: You will sleep long into the afternoon tomorrow. Getting up is difficult for you as you know you need to do the dishes. Weather will be to your liking
Ryan:
Because you probably like cookies.
Edwin:
God...
The newspaper makes it seem so easy...
Ryan:
Oh please. This is totally simple.
I just don't know what order they go in'
Edwin:
You think if
I put stuff in there it'll happen. Like "You will meet a beautiful woman who is interested in the same things you are"?
Ryan: Hells no
Edwin:
Damn...
Well, tack it onto Aquarius just to be safe.
Ryan: Well
I'll field the next one
Edwin:
Send
away
Ryan: Pisces: You'll notice that you've made some poor
decisions lately and want to make up for them by making better ones in the future. A pair of Hulk Hands will solve your current biggest problem
Edwin:
You
should do this as a side job.
Ryan: Heh heh. I told you it was simple
Edwin: ...shut up...
Ryan: Next up: Aries.
Lemme see what the stars have to say
Edwin:
Uh
oh... *please be beautiful women...*
Ryan: Aries: Your love life is in trouble. Several people are out to get you, and
financial trouble is on it's way. The best course of action requires a big
commitment and a rope.
Edwin:
Will
they be towing things?
Ryan: Your turn to do a couple.
Taurus and Gemini are next on the list
Edwin:
Alrighty. Taurus: It's time to clean up some large messes you've made in the past. A mop and bucket will be at your side in the weeks that follow. Gemini: Luck is in your favor. Spend more time looking in places you normally wouldn't. You will begin to question where your life is going.
Ryan: OK, time to rip on Cancer.
Cancer: Everyone loves Cancer. I mean hates. Everyone hates Cancer. You should
stay away from cell phones, microwaves, the sun, and pretty much everything else to avoid making your situation any worse. Leo: Facial hair will do you no good in the near future. In fact, not much will, as you've got one heck of a bad luck steak coming on. Consider spending more time alone.
Edwin:
What
are the next ones?
Ryan: Virgo and then Libra.
Actually, I wanna do Virgo
Edwin: okay then
Ryan: Virgo: Also
known as "The Virgin", your astrological symbol fits you to a tee. Cheese isn't going to play a big part in
your life any time soon. And watch out for holes.
Edwin: Libra: This week is the perfect opportunity to unblock the bowel obstruction you developed three months ago. You will find yourself living in the room of your house that you least expected.
Ryan: Scorpio: Seven.
Remember that number, as it's going to cost you a lot if you forget it. Poison is probably a bad thing to ingest, but give it a try if you're feeling really lucky, because I see a miracle in the works for you.
If you'd like to finish up with Sagittarius and Capricorn, go nuts
Edwin:
Okay. Sagittarius: Your astrological sign looks a lot like the word spaghetti. This newfound knowledge will help you both in your personal and financial endeavors. Capricorn: Your new favorite word is
toaster oven. Yelling this word is ill advised, and should only be done in extreme cases. try to eat an entire jar of peanut butter today.
Is
that all twelve now?
Ryan: Yesh
Edwin:
Good
riddance.
Ryan: I know.
Astrology is stupid. So. Any idea where to go from here?
Edwin:
We
could try and make paper hats out of stuff.
I've got a stapler.
Ryan: We can't really do that with text
Edwin:
Okay,
bad idea... We could critique Eric's site.
Ryan: Ooh. But I think that would be better suited to a different medium as well.
Edwin:
Which
medium? The fixed version we made?
Ryan:
I was thinking a whole overblown cross-examination and review complete with
screenshots that have little arrows and such. Kind
of a huge project type thing
Edwin:
Sure, sounds great. I'm free tomorrow.
Plus I've got a laser printer we can use.
Ryan: Anyhow,
back to the grind
Edwin:
Hmm...
well, what do you use the internet for other than news?
Ryan: Um. X-E. and ..... that's pretty much it.
Edwin: I don't want to bore the public with talk of video games and computer software, so that's gonna have to be a last resort
Ryan: The internet?
Edwin:
Which?
Ryan: What?
Edwin:
The
British are invading?
Ryan: I reserved my Nintendo DS?
Edwin:
Oh
farts... why couldn't you have waited a few months and saved some cash.
Ryan: Meh.
In other news, the new Leisure Suit Larry looks like stupid
Edwin: I'm shocked!
Are the women well done?
Ryan: Well, most of 'em look pretty odd. It's just the 3D cartoon odd-lookingness though. I think.
Edwin:
Got
a link?
Ryan: http://www.leisuresuitlarry.com/
Edwin: ...How fitting...
Ryan: Indeed
Edwin:
Wow...
This is so wrong...
Ryan: Isn't it though?
So enough about that crap, we need something that sounds like material
Edwin:
Sounds
like you have an idea.
Ryan: Yeah right. ...I mean, of course I do.
A music-type review is in order!
Edwin:
Does this have anything to do with
Paul Simon?
Ryan: No. That's another story,
Edwin:
Thank
God...
Ryan: I just want to say that the Resident Evil Apocalypse soundtrack is pretty sweet.
Edwin: And the movie ain't bad neither.
Ryan: And when I got it, it was only about $15, so it was a sweet deal too
Edwin:
While you talk about this, imma go do something.
Ryan: Yeah... So anyway, great CD with a bunch of good bands I knew like HIM, Slipknot, CKY and Rammstein. Also, there were some pretty decent sounding new ones like Killswitch Engage, who's song on the CD - The End of Heartache - is just awesome. No wonder it was advertised in big print on the
sticker. Sadly, I downloaded a couple of their other songs, and the results were less than I expected.
Edwin:
That
it then?
Ryan: I guess it is
Edwin:
Material
is pretty hard to scare up eh?
Ryan: When you haven't done much in the past how long - yes.
Edwin:
We
could see what Bigfoot does for a living.
Ryan: I don't think he really does anything but elude photographers and hunters
Edwin:
Hmmm....
A
ha! I know where Bigfoot lives!
Ryan: The forest?
Edwin: Moberly Lake, BC
Ryan: Odd place, a lake, for a
Bigfoot to be living
Edwin:
No lie.
Lookie here http://411ca.whitepages.com/search/Find_Person?firstname=&name_begins_with=1&name=Bigfoot&city_zip=&state_id=
Ryan: Well I'll be damned
Edwin:
Hmm...
I wonder... Dracula's whereabouts are still a
mystery
Ryan: HOLY HELL!
Rodney Dangerfield has been died! For like 2 days already! Why did no
one tell me?
Edwin: I didn't think anybody cared
Ryan: Well I thought he was a pretty funny guy
Edwin:
Meh.
I found a lot of his material annoying
Ryan: In any case, I'm thinking we've got nothing
Edwin:
Yeah,
I'm Googling random crap now. http://www.vgmuseum.com/pics3/booga_boo_2.gif
It's freaking
Booga Boo!
Ryan: Ah, the good old VG Museum
Edwin:
What's
"catty smack"?
Ryan: Caddyshack?
Edwin:
No no,
I spelt it right.
Ryan: I unno. Never heard of such a thing
Edwin:
I typed 'why polar bears don't wear pants' into
Google, and the first page that came up said something about 'talking catty smack'.
Also,
type in 'catty smack' in quotes to get the page
Ryan: Maybe reading deeper in will get you more info
Edwin:
Would YOU read any deeper?
But in the hopes of material,
I shall
Ryan: Well why the hell would you ask why polar bears don't wear pants in the first place? It's clearly because shorts are comfy and easy to wear.
Edwin: ...Let's be serious here.
If AOL didn't send spam to people who
E-mail their users, I'd ask what 'catty smack' is.
In any case, this page is shitty to the max and isn't worth my time anymore (plus
I've read it all and there's no links)
Ryan: Well it's AOL. They survive on spam and spam alone.
Maybe a little celebrity once in a while
Edwin:
Very true. even the snail mail variety. Where the hell is Siam?
Ryan: In the East.
Maybe
Edwin:
Well,
all that's in the West is everything to the East.
Given
the shape of the planet we
are to the West.
Ryan: Anyhow
Edwin:
We could play a game me and my sis do to pass time. do
Google image searches, and find a word that doesn't come up with animal or porn pictures.
I haven't found one.
I thought
I did once, but it was just misspelt a lot. (don't bother looking up pirate)
Ryan: Probably not possible, but that's a risk I'm willing to take
Gee. I was kinda hoping that irony would kick in and typing in "porn" wouldn't bring up any porn, but no such luck.
Edwin: Aorta is working pretty well, but
I still have filtering on
Ryan: Are proper names allowed?
Edwin:
Like
Jack or Samuel?
Ryan: Uh...
yeah
Edwin:
No.
Poop.
I've been foiled by a picture of a dog.
Ryan: I got 8 pages into "blues"
Edwin:
I'm gonna see if
I at least survive the porn thing. which is nearly impossible
Ryan: There's like one pic on the first page which isn't
Edwin:
For
porn?
Ryan: Yeah
Edwin: http://www.dolphys-disney-den.de/Art-Trades/Aorta.jpg
I have to ask. wtf.
Ryan: Gah.
Now any pictures of animals count? Or just photos?
Edwin:
Why
is it called aorta?! Oh,
let's ignore the animals rule. It gives us a chance.
Ryan: Ok. So far so good for "mockery".
In any case, I'm very tired
Edwin:
Okay
then. Give up time?
Ryan: Yep
Edwin:
Well then,
I suppose it's time for the outro.
Ryan: Yes it is
Edwin: Edwin's words of wisdom are:
While sand is good to play with, eating it is a bad idea.
Hmm...
It's kinda the inverse of food...
Ryan: And my advice is.... Well, I'm not really qualified to give out advice about anything.
Edwin:
I guess we should do kind of a look back on this whole thing.
All I can say is we ended like we started. With no idea what to do.
Ryan: Yep. And I'd say it's fallen apart, but nothing was ever really together to begin with.
Edwin: This seemed kinda weak, but
I'm happy we're done with it. Gives closure.
Ryan: Yes. And I'll never have to worry about finishing it again
Edwin:
So,
I won't be seeing you around boys and girls. Be good.
Ryan: And you won't be seeing me either, at least not if I see you first. That'll give me a good enough chance to slip away unnoticed
Edwin:
Well,
they never really saw us in the first place, but that's fine.
Thank
you and goodnight.
Ryan:
Adios, suckers.
Heartwarming, that was. Not really, but you've gotta be dramatic once in a while. Yep. This is truly the end now, unless - as I mentioned above - some rich fool decides to pick this up as a big time thing. But if you are reading this, you've been to my site, and if you've been to my site, chances are that you're very not rich. So that's the end of that. I hope you're as happy to see the end of this as I am.
