After just slightly over a month of pissing around, I've finally finished the 2004 Christmas haul article. It's probably rife with spelling errors, as I've been working on it since 10 last night. But now it's done and I can finally go to bed. After I say one last thing.
I was reading over some of my old articles today, and found myself laughing quite heartily at some of them. I always thought my writing was just crap that people said was good to avoid hurting my feelings. Maybe that's the truth, but I'm actually enjoying them, so I've got a little more reason to keep doing this. So anyway, enjoy the Christmas thing. I'm gonna do another one next time I get a day off. But I won't know when that is until Thursday, so whatever. I'm sleepy.
I'm sure there's something else i'm supposed to say now, but I'm too damn tired. It's going to have to wait until tomorrow.
I just spent the last 47 minutes listening to The Killers' CD, Hot Fuss, and I can't say that I'm overly impressed. While their big hit "Somebody Told Me" is a kickass song, I just can't say the same for the rest of the disc. I assume that they're an acquired taste, and if I listened to it a few more times I might get to like it, but I have other music that I know I like so I don't think The Killers will be making it into my library anytime soon. Thank God I listened to the CD before buying it. Ths is a prime lesson in why you should never buy a CD until you've heard at least half the songs. I'mma go listen to Tesla now.
So... What else have I done lately? Oh, I downloaded the Rockman X8 PC demo today. you can find it here if you feel like giving it a spin. Just scroll down and hit the big red button. I was impressed by it, mostly because it's so much better than X7 (which even I'll admit was pretty sad). The only thing that disappointed me is that I doesn't have any gamepad support. Or I'm just a dumbass and couldn't figure out how to enable it (EDIT 9:10PM: Yep, I'm a dumbass. Found the option...). It's got one helluva Capcom logo animation. I recommend downloading it just for that.
Shit, Sky Captain comes out tomorrow! I'm totally hyped. I love that movie so much. I guess that's it for today. I'll do some article work tomorrow. Maybe even get one done. Who knows.
A short while back I got fed up with having like 7 BitTornado windows open at once, and finally got around to installing this program called Azureus. Good stuff. Hold on, I'm going somewhere with this. so I'm looking for "test subjects" down at the old torrent dump, and I come across a peculiar anime movie called "Sonic Adventure 2". I'm like "Hey, that's a game, not a movie!" And I downloaded it because I like and own the game. Impressions are as follows.
It was indeed an anime movie based on the Sonic Adventure 2 game. I was shocked, becasue I was sure I would have heard of such a thing. Anyhow, it's surely a movie of the Sonic X anime, which is very, very loosely based on the first Sonic Adventure game. Only, the anime introduces many new characters and of course, takes away a lot of element from the games. So if you're still following me, the movie's story is that of the game, but changes just enough to make it fit in with the anime's plot. And as I can only assume (because I stopped following the Sonic X anime and pretty much anything I was watching when I started working), the movie introduces several plot points and characters, which will carry over into the anime with no explaination, leaving all of us who live outside of Japan to wonder what's going on. Only I'm on the inside now, because I've seen the movie.
With that moderately confusing paragraph behind us, let's discuss some other stuff about this particular movie, shall we? The thing that I first noticed is that opposite to all toon-to-movies I've seen in my time, the animation in Sonic Adventure 2 is inferior to that of Sonic X. In fact the overall quality was somewhat lower than I would expect, leading me to beleive that no-one involved with Sonic X had anything to do with this movie. Of course, I'm not going to research this at all, so if you can tell me different, go right ahead. My E-Mail address is at the bottom of the sidebar. Also noted was that they managed to keep all the main ideas of the game's story mostly intact. While a bunch of anime-exclusive character story was added and intertwined with the base story, they also did a pretty good job of explaining the main plot, whereas the game left you kinda confused at several points. Of course, it was somewhat connected with the Sonic X story, so if you hadn't been watching that, you might be left in the dark on several occasions. Lastly, the subtitles were pretty poor. they were there and all, but the translators were clearly not that proficient in English, as the Engrish is piled on throughout.
Other interesting news bits for this update include: Mike has re-arranged his website. Again. It once again has content on it, much to my delight. The last couple incarnations did not, so it makes for a nice change. Steve also writes for this website, and it features a message board much like my own. I would urge you to post at either, but you're really better off at the Mists of Avalon Online forum. More people, and they actually post every once in a while.
The full version of the Rockman.EXE Stream anime opening theme, Be Somewhere, has been released. Find it from here. While we're talking of anime themes, you can download the opening and ending themes of the Viewtiful Joe anime at this website. You'll have to sign up if you want them, but they're not great, so unless you're a huge VJ fan like m'self...
And as much as I hate relying on Gorillamask for things to post about (I try to find stuff myself, but I don't have hundreds of people e-mailing me things they find interesting every day), here's a nerd test. Take it, see how much of a nerd you are. Apparently, i'm barely a nerd at all. I was slightly surprised, but I guess I'm just more anti-social than nerdy.
Firstly, I want you to read this review. It pretty much gets my point across. When you're done with that, then you can move onto the rest of my stuff. It kinda fits together. You'll see.
So, RE4 is Zelda good. Yep. But how good is Zelda? Duh. That's a no-brainer. But for the sake of completeness and having proof, it's time I reviewed the newest entry into the Legend of Zelda series. That's right, it's about time I shared my thoughts about The Legend of Zelda: the Minish Cap.
To start, the game is flawless. That means it has not even a single flaw. Some minor annoyances, but nothing big enough to be considered a flaw. Many people will disagree with what I'm saying, what with so many people focused so much on how many dungeons a game has, or how many hours it takes to finish. These people are dumb. These people are asses. these people are dumbasses. I'll not lie, the Minish Cap has "only" six dungeons. This is not far off from the last two games; Majora's Mask and the Wind Waker. The one thing that most people do not realize is that while the main quest may be "short", there are more bonus kajiggers to find and questdoodles to complete than you could shake any type of long object at, be it a stick, a hockey stick, or a cardboard tube. But that is not my point, my point is that while the main adventure is (again with the quotation marks) "short", the game is a simply amazing video game experience.
The Minish Cap is without a doubt one of the best GameBoy Advance games out there. You'll be seeing this one on more than a few "Best games of 2005" lists. The most defining point is the fact that it's an entirely new adventure. While we've seen a couple of new Zelda games in the last few years (the Wind Waker, Four Swords Adventures), Nintendo has been doing a lot of porting. Most of it was promotional material, but that's not important. Only a new Super Mario Bros game would impress and shock us more. Aside from the story, there is plenty of new stuff in the Minish Cap. For one, Link isn't really any hero of destiny in this one, he just kind of gets voted into it when he turns out to be the only able person in the rooms at the time. Heck, the game would star the King of Hyrule or his attendant if it weren't for a convenient plot point. It's not a huge point of interest, but it's a neat little change. Aside from that, not one of the bosses have been seen in a previous game. Wait... One of the bosses was seen in a previous game (except the final boss, but he was... different... in that one, so it doesn't count). The dungeons are excellently designed, with some puzzles that can leave you scratching your head for quite some time. There are no less than three new tools for Link to acquire, and plenty of other great new additions.
But of course, the game also has it's share of classic influence. Most notable, it uses the great GB Zelda control scheme of equipping one weapon to the A button and another to the B button. Sadly, a couple of the cool hidden weapon combos from Link's Awakening are missing, namely the bomb arrows. A lot of the sub-characters come from the range of past Zelda games. Sadly, the old man from the first game is still missing. Plenty of Link's Awakening enemies make their fantastic returns, such as Bob-ombs and those face-plated guys. You know, the ones where you had to remove the armor with the hookshot. Plus, I'm pretty sure that a lot of the sound effects come straight from Link's Awakening. That's my favorite Zelda game of all time, for those who didn't know. A lot of Wind Waker influence is presented in terms of visuals, and the Palace of Winds level will make many people think back to Four Sowrds Adventures, had they played the game. Oh yes, and it also just happens to be a prequel to the established Four Swords storyline. Possibly the best part is that the Ocarina has gone back to it's original use as transportation and transporation alone. I hated having musical instruments as key items.
So what's this all about the game being small and such? Well, the first thing you'll notice is that the map is deceptively tiny. This will throw you off, as the world map is a decent size, though notably smaller than those of past Zelda games. But, while it doesn't have an entire alternate map, there is plenty of exploration opportuninty, with winding paths everywhere and many spots accessibl only to a tiny Link. The square mileage may be less, but its more crammed with stuff than you might assume. And yes, the dungeon count is six. Four main dungeons, one "red herring" dungeon, and the final castle. They're certainly large places, and each has it's own unique ways of tripping you up, be it inconspicuous bombable walls or mine cart mazes.
Is it hard? In a word: maybe. It's like the every Zelda and Metroid game. If you look for all the optional/hidden power-ups, it's gonna be a bit easier. If you try to make it through without picking up any heart containers, you're probably gonna have a hard freaking time. Me, as good as I may be, I get hit a lot. I'm prone to tkaing damage. that's why I take longer to get accustomed to games where life refills are few and far between. But that's not to say that the enemies win only to my incompetence. Plenty of them, like the Tektites and Ropes, move rather sporadically and are at times difficult to dodge. Such is the way of a game presented in two dimensions. the bosses start off pretty easy, but soon escalate to the point where you might actually get frustrated. The real key to winning in this game is to know which item to use on what. Almost every enemy has a weakness to one of Link's various tools, and you just have to figure that out. Some people would never even think to use the shield to reflect boulders back at an enemy, or to stun a particularly nimble foe with the boomerang.
Possibly the thing I like most about the Minish Cap is the level on which you interact with all the characters you meet along the way. Almost every single peson in the game plays some sort of role. For the most part, they just hold kinstones, a new sub-quest dealie where you collect halves of stone coins, and then must find the peson with the other half. Fusing the kinstones will usually yield something of value, be it a secret path or a treasure chest stuffeed with rupees. Sometimes it even gives life to extremely durable golden enemies. There are 100 fusions in total, and a lot of them are randomly generated. Also, the people are really animated. The one I first noticed was a girl at the cafe, who when talked to spun around on her stool and gave her hair a mighty flip. I immediately crapped my pants and was floored. I've never seen such a minor character animated so intricately and smoothly. Oh yes, and the town is easily the greatest Zelda town ever. It feels so alive. It's huge, contains tons of people to speak with, is extremely complex and packed with secrets, and changes ever so slightly over the course of the game. A Link to the Past intoduced the cucco. With Ocarina of Time came dogs. And now there are even cats and cucco chicks prowling the streets. All of which you can talk to while tiny. Except the room full of chicks. They just all come after you in a horrid flurry of down and talons.
The music is another portion of the game which is beyond exceptional. It borrows some music, but is also ripe with many of its own original tracks. Me, I was offended by the complete lack of the Zelda theme in Ocarina of Time. Majora's Mask remedied the situation a little, and then the Wind Waker (while it's original stuff is way above par) went back and almost completely forgot it. I love the piece, and the Minish Cap has no such lack of it. Most sections of the world map have either it or a variation playing (the Cloud Tops area mix is ineffably good), and there is no way that a GBA speaker could do the beautiful tunes in this game justice. Even the DS speakers don't do the job perfectly. This is one of those games where you need headphones to get the true value out of the music. Oh yes, and there's an excellent, excellent Castle remix for the last level. Ever since listening the "Trifore Majeure" song featured on OC Remix, that's been one of my favortie Zelda tunes. Sadly, no palace music from Zelda 2. I really like that one too. But it's top notch stuff people.
Like I said at the beginning, I adore the game, and if you like Zelda at all, you will too. It's possibly the best GBA title to date (by production values anyway), and is a good sign that the Nintnedo and Capcom make excellent partners. Woo Capcom. It would be out of place, but I wouldn't mind seeing maybe a MegaMan reference, or at least a Street Fighter reference in the next one. but, I've been working on this review for over an hour now, so it's way past time to wrap it up. Minish Cap = excellent. You buy now. If you not buy, and you own GBA, you fool. Damned fool. Fool who clearly can't appreciate the best things in life. If I were a guest in Rollercoaster Tycoon, I'd say it's of excellent value. The only thing that scares me is that my youngest brother bought it as well, and is doing almost as well as I am, and I haven't helped him at all. He's getting too good. At this pace, it'll be only a year or two before he's better than me, and I don't know if I'mma be able to deal with that.
Oh yeah, and on a side note, there's a new Steve artice/rant thing. Like most of them, I agree, but with exceptions. no direclt link for youse guys this time. I'm too damned lazy to figure out the URL.
Ah, it's time for the monthly review of a band of my choice. Sure, the review is a little late this month, but I've had the band picked since sometime in the first week. I'm getting better. A couple more and I'll have this done between the first and fourth every month. Assuming I can continue to find bands that I like until I give up maintaining this site. But that shouldn't be too much of a problem. I like a lot of music. Oh yes, and I hope you're enjoying this paragraph. Pure filler! Hahahaha! It's just a clever ruse to make you believe this post is longer than it actually is! Well, I guess it's onto the real stuff now then. Oh, and excuse any bad spelling, I'm typing in the dark and have no access to a spellchecker.
They're a new group, so they've only got the one CD, Page Avenue. It's an excellent album, and easily recommendable to anyone who can enjoy a fine mix of fast rock and slightly slower rock. While there is a bit of screaming, it's never annoying or off-putting (EX: Billy Talent) and is usually placed in key points of songs. I'm not really complaining, because I love drums, but the only real downside to the CD is that the guitars are kinda downplayed by the vocals and drums. Really, you might not even notice guitars on some songs unless you listen for them specifically.
The disc starts strong with a very hardcore "And the Hero Will Drown". As I stated in the paragraph prior, a lot of drum influence in this one. Then come their two biggest and similarly titled hits, "Until the Day I Die" and "Anthem of Our Dying Day". The second is slightly slower, but I feel is it the better of the two. After that is one of my two favorite songs on the CD; "In the Shadows". Funny, because it's probably the screamingest song on the album, and I'm not a fan of screamy music. I dunno exaclty what it is about the song that I like so much, but I think the pacing is good and again, the drumming is superb. My second favorite song is closer to the end, and is also the slowest on the disc; "Sidewalks". It's a nice acoustic-esque piece that is... touching, for the lack of a better word. I unno. I like slower rock songs. So sue me. Ooh, and it's got violins in it. I like violins. The last song, "Falling Down" is quite good, and features guest vocals by Ray Cappo. I don't know who he is, but he's pretty good at that singing thing. Overall, it's an A+ CD. At the very least, you owe it to yourself to download the thing, if you just can't commit yourself to spending $20 on it. Easily worth it though.
The CD also features some cool CD-ROM bonuses, including two music videos and one kind of band overview video called "Fellowship of the Wang". If that hasn't convinced you to check it out, you're a lost cause. The video is quite funny, with some great lines and band antics. The music videos are, well, music videos. I've never really liked music vids to begin with, and these are just run-of-the-mill punk videos, to tell the truth. Nothing special. And to top it all off, there is some slightly disturbing band tomfoolery as a "secret track" on the end of the CD. It's funny, but not exactly, shall we say, sane.
And so another edition of Band of the Month comes to a close. I'm not sure what else to type, and it's starting to feel awkward, so I'll just close it here. Seeya next post, suckers.
ADDENDUM: While playing Resident Evil 4 the other day, my friend and I were talking about, well, exactly what the newest VG Cats comic is about, even stating that Scott would produce something exactly like what he did. Psychic powers? I think yes.
So I'm sitting at work yesterday, and I hear some of the women complaining about how the guys are always leaving the toilet seat up in the staff bathroom. This got me to thinking why exactly they have such a problem with the seat being up. After a good 13 or so minutes of hard thinking and a little research, I discovered that it's just another very subtle way of them trying to turn us men into their slaves. Very subtle, but you can't just take total mind control in big steps. It has to be slowly woven in. Trust me, I deal with mind control issues all the time. I know these things.
Now, what exactly is their beef with having the seat up? Is it because they're stupid and don't look before they sit down, and then fall in? While this is a hilarious possibility, it is incorrect. In fact, you'd think that they should appreciate having the seat up, as reassurance that it wasn't down while we were going, and there isn't going to be any piss on it. I mean, it's like a free ticket to a clean seat. But no. They want us to put the seat down when we're done because they're just too lazy to do it themselves. Come on, it takes less than a second and no effort whatsoever, yet they still get mad at us for it. What, I ask you, is the big freaking deal? Anyway, they discovered that if they just yell at us every time they have to put the seat down, it'll eventually become reflex for us to do it and we'll be following their orders without them even having to tell us what to do. Horrid females and their mind games. And then once they've this matter under wraps, they'll move up to bigger and less trivial things.
So, what I propose is that we do stuff that might really have some effect. First of all, we men must never again put the toilet seat down when we're done. This will show the women that we're not responding to their mind games, and will set back their plans of total mind control. Nextly, we should think about just never lifting the seat at all, be it far more troublesome to them to have to clean the seat rather than to put it down. Then when they tell us to put it up when they go, we could propose they have a choice: either it goes up and stays up, or stays down and gets sprinkled. As much as they like to think they can, we have to let them know they cannot have it all. Sometimes they will have to take something at the loss of something else, much like we do every day.
Women have way too much power these days, and we have to take some back. In any case of a man vs a woman, the woman will win, because they would call sexism otherwise. This is not equality. This is bullshit. And our counter-revolution starts with the toilet seats. the next time a woman tells you to put the toilet seat down, just say "Do it yourself, you lazy ho" and walk away. Leave her there to yell or cry or whatever they would do in this situation. Also, be sure to spread the word to an men you meet. This website is not well enough known for it to have a true impact, so I'll depend on word-of-mouth. We cannot be turned into slaves to any higher degree than we already are. As it is, many men will do anything for a woman simply because they hold the key to, as some might put it, "nookie". Such a fundamental weakness is all they truly have. If men did not crave this so badly, we would have a much better fighting chance against those power-hungry harpies. If nothing else, neglect to put the seat down just to piss 'em off. And now we turn to RyanMan with the weather.
It's gonna be a decent week, as far as I can tell. We have forecasts of a looming Steve article coming in form the North. Then there is some heavy posing going on far East. How fast it'll be here, I can't quite say. Other than that, things are pretty clam on all fronts. Direct link for dumbasses. Back to you, Funk Master.
That's actually the end of our coverage for today, be sure to tune in to the late night news tomorrow to catch our great coverage of the biggest news this side of the web. You stay classy, internet. I'm Funk Master R. Valentine.
There are tons of fun little tests and things to do on the internet, like quizzes to see how you rate in certain areas, "what [series] character are you?" tests, and plenty of different kinds of funny name generators. The Ninja Name generator at Ninja Burger for instance. The latest one I've come across is at Playerappreciate.com. If you're just reading and not clicking links as you go or didn't bother to look at the picture, it's a pimp name generator. My pimp name, it's pretty sweet. I should probably go by it from now on. It's a little long, but meh. Oh, and if you try it out, you can keep clicking for different names if you don't like the first one you get. This was the first one I got, but I kept clicking, and the rest were kinda weak.
So lately I've been spending a lot of time over at the Mists of Avalon Online message boards. It's run by a friend of a friend, who just happened to have a mention once before on the site, sometime back in early November. It's a much more populated forum (about 40 members), and it's much more lively than my own. And by that, I mean there is activity there. So yes, I've been whiling away some time over there, and if you don't already know of it, I suggest you check it out. Especially for my great views on things such as video games, literature and abortion. Go! sign up! I need more people to form a sort of forum posse.
Okay, third paragraph, video game time. Resident Evil 4 has been challenging the limits of my patience, with some tough areas and annoying as hell fish. Not that they're attacking me or anything, but you can kill fish and take them as food. Currently, the only populated body of water is the lake, and I have to kill them with harpoons, and well, you take it from there. It's interesting that the game progresses in chapters, unlike the other games. I guess it's just a way to gauge how well you're doing rank-wise, because they show you your accuracy, kills and deaths at each between-chapter save point. I'm on chapter three now, and I've fought two great bosses; one really easy, and one slightly tough (killed me five times). Now it's nighttime, and the evil people are getting more numerous, and evil wolves have started appearing too. They are really hard. I'm not going to ruin the plot, but as far as I can tell at this point, the enemy is aliens. It only makes sense. That or it's an underground Umbrella splinter faction that's using a new type of virus thing. I haven't a clue, but now the president's daughter is following me around everywhere, and the villagers keep trying to steal her. Oh yes, and now they throw pitchforks as well. It's getting really hard, and I'm lovin' every minute of it. Whoo Loverboy.
Doom 3 doesn't work so well on my PC. It runs, but when it loads rooms, it starts slowing down rather harshly. But at least it's a good enough game to see past the occasional slowdown. While there isn't any action in like the first 20 minutes, there are so many cool little things to see and do, it's mind-blowing. Then again, I already knew that. I played it once before, but never bothered to mention. Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude didn't go over so well. First of all, it was in Spanish, a language in which I have not been schooled, and it bugged out right after the opening scenes. Those scenes were rather interesting though, as the graphics were pretty sweet, and the background music was Motley Crue's "Girls Girls Girls". I've been looking for an English version torrent, but haven't had any luck so far. Please, internet, don't make me buy this game. I know it won't be worth paying money for, but I still want to try it out.
Finally, I have to start getting pissed at Capcom right now. In both Rockman.EXE 4 and Rockman Zero 3, thre were E-Reader features. I searched for and bought an E-Reader specifically for these games. But in the North American versions, those features were gone. I as, as they say, was cheezed. But not so badly, as they didn't really do anything spectacular. BUT - Rockman.EXE 5 also has E-Reader support. it will probably be removed from the NA version again, and this is where they've gone too far. One of the coolest features in the game, dubbed "Forte Cross Rockman", is only attainable by E-card. It's not important to the game, but Forte is awesome, and a Soul Unison (stop me if I've lost you) with him is like the ultimate dream of EXE fanpeoples. Not to mention, it's better than a regular Soul Unison, because it doesn't up and go away after three turns. So yes, urge to kill rising and such. They had better leave that E-Reader crap in there this time, and possibly include the card in the game box so I don't have to buy a kajillion packs looking for the damn thing. All that, and they've delayed the release of the GBA MegaMan Anniversary Collection again. Capcom, you're really cutting it close these days. Funk Master R. Valentine isn't going to take this much longer.
I've noticed that in the last few days, I've come around a lot of important subjects that I need to cover, but I couldn't possibly type up everything in one monstrous post. Oh no, that wouldn't do at all. So I guess the best way to do this is to tell you to expect January and possibly early February to be chock-full of posts. I've already made quite a few for this month, and I've still got a lot left unmentioned. So firstly for today, I've got great news. I'm now the unofficial Tim Horton's computer tech. Whenever the staff PC goes nuts or comes across a common error that nobody else knows how to fix (they're all pretty computer illiterate), they call me. Everyone is just so freaking amazed at "how good" I am with computers. And to think that I'm only really a novice when it comes to these things. But in any case, I plan to make some problems for the thing, so that I can seem like more of a hero when they can't get it working properly. I get a lot of praise for this, so I'm kinda wondering if being a nerd is such a bad thing.
I was perusing the usual web comics the other day when Scott Kurtz of PVP mentioned this little baby. The Mac Mini has blown my mind. It's a complete Macintosh computer in a box not much bigger than a multi-CD case. And it goes for as low as $499? If I hadn't just spent slightly over $500 on my new PC parts, that would so be on my to-get list. Make no mistake, I still want it, but I just don't have that kind of cash to blow. And as Windows-free as Macs are, I can't think of a practical use for it. All my games are PC version (obviously) and I'm not buying them all again. Sure, it would work fine for everything except games, but that's my second main computer use, next to this website. I want it, but I don't need it. So cool...
On the video game front, I got Metal Slug Advance a short while before Christmas (think two days before), and I'm happy to say it rocks like no Metal Slug before it. Mostly because you get a fighting chance. In this one, instead of a set number of lives, you get a life bar, and it's replenishable. Also, you can save your progress in the game. There are only five main missions, but there are apparently a bunch of secret areas too (none of which I have found). You can collect permanent power-ups as well, like a flak jacket that reduces damage by 10%, and a knife that can attack enemy tanks. While all of these little changes sound like they'd make the game easier, well, they don't really. The difficulty level is way up, slightly past Metal Slug's usual difficulty standard. Plus, most of the really useful power-ups are in the later levels and are well hidden to boot. The only, and I mean only, real downside to the game is that there is no multiplayer whatsoever. It kinda solidifies the story, but it would still be nice to have. Either way, it's a great game, and is not to be missed if you love Metal Slug (and who doesn't??).
In other news, Resident Evil 4 is still kicking, and I, uh, legally obtained (yes, that's it...) Doom 3 and Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude. Expect impressions sometime soon. I'm trying to buckle down and get my Christmas article (which I have re-decided to just keep as one big clump, rather than several smaller articles) done, but I lost a few of the pics in the latest family PC crash. Oh, they're safe and sound on my extra hard drive, but I'm too damn lazy to rip open my PC and stuff it in there. So as soon as I get the will to do that, it'll be up. Hopefully before February rolls around. Another article is also nearing half-completion, but those pics were lost as well. It's sad that Windows is so freaking unstable. So yes, much for the future! Expect new comics sometime soon as well! The next one is a little less in-joke I believe, so all can enjoy!
While I'm not a huge beer drinker, I still feel the absolute need to direct you to the site for The next order of business is the latest kickass Zelda remix. (Actually, it's been out there for a few months, but anyway...) But, this time it does not come from OC Remix. Strange, no? This one is found on VG Mix. It's called "Blood of Ganon", and is a truly awesome hardcore Zelda medley containing music from the Legend of Zelda, Zelda 2, and A Link to the Past. Great stuff. Direct link, for those of you too lazy or stupid to navigate the site yourselves.
Remember when I said I was downloading a bunch of games? Well, they finished, and sadly, my computer was running in f'd-up mode at the time, and most of the files became corrupt. In an ironic twist of fate, the only one that ended up working was GTA3.
Ah yes, and I bought Resident Evil 4 today. The game kicks ass like none before it. It's tons of frantic fun, as the enemies are really adept at killing you. You see, they can climb in windows, climb up ladders to higher windows, break down doors, throw molotov cocktails and axes (which you can explode/reflect with a fluke shot), and run at you like there's no tomorrow. I'm not very far, but the game has already taken a few cool plot twists, and I'm totally impressed by everything. The new gameplay style is great, though precision aiming is a little hard at first. Graphics are possibly the best I've ever seen, and the voice acting turned out rather well. Ooh, and there is shootable livestock. I saw a chicken for the first time and said to my brother "I'm so gonna shoot that chicken". And then I saw the cows. It's just a superb game on every level, and I think I'll have to go a little more in-depth with the reviewing once I finish it. A testament to the greatness of Capcom and the Gamecube, this is surely not a title to be missed.
As I mentioned yesterday, I recently downloaded and watched the movie "Nosferatu". But before we begin, I must make a clarification. This version of the film is a newer version. Made in 1979, it is based on the 1922 silent film, which is in itself based on Bram Stoker's Dracula. What separates this film from the older are mainly sound, colour, and character names. I would have liked to watch the 1922 version (as well), but this one was all I could find. Being somewhat interested in monster legends, I figured I would be interested in such a film. Indeed, I was interested, but it really turned out to be a mixed bag.
The main plot of the movie is based around three central characters; Jonathan Harker, his wife Lucy, and Count Dracula. Jonathan is sent on a trip to sell a house to the mysterious Count. When there, Dracula becomes enamored with Lucy when he sees her picture in Jonathan's locket. He then seals the house deal, bites Jonathan, and travels to the town of Virna to claim his house and his new love. The plot is pretty straightforward and easy to follow, but it takes a long time to set things into motion. If you were to cut out all of the artistic filler and montages, the entire movie would probably be cut from almost two hours to about 40 minutes. The movie itself is interesting, but all of the "blank space", as I'm going to call it, makes it boring to watch through. I watched half, then had to take a break out of sheer boredom. And for the most part, it doesn't get to the real good stuff until it's over halfway done.
And how about the characters? Well, our heroes are kind of annoying, actually. John is just annoying in the traditional sense, but Lucy is like something straight out a Shakespeare tragedy. The whole movie I couldn't stop thinking of how this is like something you would watch in a high-school English class if it weren't so obscure. But more on that later. There's this one chracter, Renfield, who is Dracula's servant, and he's just so obviously insane that it's funny every time he's on-screen. Not to mention near the end, he's dressed up almost exactly like the Joker, just without the green hair and makeup. One of the other heroes, Dr. Van Helsing, doesn't even make his real appearance until near the end of the movie. This isn't a bad thing, as until the final scene, he's quite a pompous ass.
Count Dracula, obviously, is the real show-stealer. He not only looks rather creepy with his ghostly white complexion and long fingernails, but the way the character is played out, you almost want to see him win. And I was quite surprised (though I shouldn't have been, he's freaking Dracula) that while he looks so old and frail, he can lift objects that look quite heavy and sprint around town with the best of them. And the absolute greatest scene in the movie is when he enters Lucy's chamber while she brushes her hair. We see her doing her thing in the mirror, and the door behind her opens. Only, there's no-one there. As you probably know, vampires don't have reflections, but the shadow was cast on the wall, creating a really cool effect, and scaring the shit out of Lucy. It wasn't as impressive as some of the special effects they do these days, but I liked the scene pretty well.
The other great scene is right at the end, after the Count is killed (again, I was surprised that he just started convulsing violently and died stiff, rather than burst into flames or something), Van Helsing goes and finishes him off, coming downstairs to some dude and the last town worker. The dude insistes the town worker arrest Van Helsing for killing the Count (which nobody knew was the bad guy), but the old town worker keeps saying he can't, inciting a dialogue that brings to mind the antics of Monty Python. It was quite hilarious, and the ending scenes are all rather funny, in a stange twist of genre.
Like I said before, this is the kind of thing you might watch in a high-school English class, were it not so obscure. It just seems like that kind of movie. There are a bunch of religious references, and a lot of artistic things that teachers would just love to quiz their students on. It was way better than "the Crucible", that's for sure. I wish they didn't bother having every book students read have to be some kind of social commentary. I'd like it if they just went and picked a good work of fiction that really didn't have anything to do with anything, but still had enough depth and subtext to learn something from. But in any case, "Nosferatu" was a decent movie. I recommend you watch it, but take some ritalin first, or just be ready on the fast-forward button, as the first half is really slow and doesn't do much but set up the rest of the plot, much like "The Fellowship of the Ring" does for the other Lord of the rings books/movies. Heck, after the first half, the main character even shifts. Craziness, I say. But it was way freaking better than the last movie I downloaded - "The Village". That was just awful.
So there you have it. You can find the torrent over at Bi-Torrent.com. Go for it. I believe it was worth my time to watch, if even only for the ending scenes. Now it's really just a hunt for the old 1922 version. Make sure to tell me if you ever find it somewhere. Oh yes, and the December archive is up as well.
Once again, the family computer is whacked. This kicks ass for me, because when that PC don't work, I get to steal the modem and use it for myself. That basically means that I get all the internet whenever I want, no having to put up with other people wanting to use it. Sadly, I have yet again failed to learn from my mistakes, and again, most of my new site stuff is lost to the darkness of that fucked-up hard drive. On the upside, I'm torrenting the hell out of everything I can find. I've got the entire Rockman.EXE series and a sweet Tales of Phantasia anime, and over a gigabyte's worth of wallpapers. Call of Duty and Max Payne are downloading as I type, and I have many other items of interest ready to start when those two finish. I've downloaded over 4 gigabytes of stuff in the last day and a half. Fucking amazing for me.
If you read either PVP or Penny-Arcade, you should know already, but if you like webcomics at all, you should write lots and lots of hate mail to the asshole who writes Non Sequitur. Bastard keeps taking shots at webcomic writers.
Back to real stuff, Steve's written another article. And chances are, you're on his black list. You know where to find it. And if you don't, I hate you too.
Sadly, it seems that I'm having trouble keeping up with site updates since I've been working. Sure, I've put out more articles in the last four months than I did over the summer, where I had three+ months of free time, but just doing the routine stuff like archiving is always taking too long. I need some sort of incentive to get them done, as I'm always putting it off, instead doing fun things in the short time I have between work time and sleep time. Alas, nobody cares, and I've probably lost one person who came here by accident and kept reading, because just writing about the site all the time is boring as hell to readers. I know. I just have a terrible habit of doing it way too much. I just seem to be bad at managing a semi-interesting blog. And I don't want the thing to be totally dedicated to video games, which is really my only alternative. I hate to say it, but if I can't clean up my act soon, I might just end up quitting. And I don't want to do that, because I love having a website that (as few as they are) people read. Many of my friends have complimented my site over the span of it's life, and even some people I don't know have given me words of gratitude for offering them a little entertainment. But enough of this crap, go read Steve's article if you haven't already, and come back tomorrow when i'll be reviewing the movie I just finished downloading, Nosferatu.
Holy crap. I just realized that I totally forgot the site's second birthday. Fuck.
(I know the story is a few days late, but whatever.) Every damn New Year's Eve, we have people over and order Chinese food. Me - not a big fan of the oriental stuff. Yeah, I can't get enough of the vegetables, and I don't mind the rice or chicken balls, but that's besides the point. This year, it was far too snowy to have company over, but still we ordered the Chinese food. I begged and begged for a change to say, pizza, but my cries fell on deaf ears. Or they just ignored me. Either way, it got down to the fortune cookies, and well...
If by "fortunate" they mean "slapped with a restraining order", then by all means, it was quite true. Naw, just kidding. But seriously, that's the most hilarious fortune I've ever gotten. So full of innuendo. Speaking of which, here's a link to a clip from a children's TV show of days gone by. The full script is there too, but I suggest the video. It's one of the greatest things I've ever seen. I don't think I really have anything else to post about today, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pull out my twanger and play with my balls.