Micky's angry stomping was interrupted by loud, choking sobs. Without turning around, he screamed, "Go away Cordy! I have nothing else to say to you!"

The sobs turned to heart-wrenching wails. Micky sighed and turned around. "Aaw, Cordy, I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just upset. I really love oh, it's you."

Honey's wails grew louder, and Micky hurried to her side. Her slender frame crumpled onto the sand.

"Darn!" Micky yelped as he scooped Honey up in his arms. Through the blur of tears she managed to stutter, "Mike [sob]. Cordelia [sob]. Hug [sob]. Love."

Micky gasped. "How could this be?"

"Elementary, my dear Watson," Honey managed to quip before falling limply in Micky's arms.

"It's all gonna be OK, Honey. I promise," he murmured into her hair, "It's all gonna be OK." With that, he set off towards the bungalow, carrying Honey in his arms.

Once through the French doors, Honey and Micky found themselves looking into the bewildered faces of Peter, Zelda, Cordelia, and Mike. Peter and Zelda let their mouths fall open before mumbling an excuse and leaving the others to face each other.

Cordelia squeaked piteously at the sight of Honey in Micky's arms. She didn't know why she squeaked-but she squeaked nevertheless. Mike circled her waist with his arm protectively, though he was just as upset about the situation as she was.

The four stayed like this for some time, the girls giving each other looks screamed, "How could you betray me like this?!" while the boys shot daggers at each other.

"Hello, all!" Davy bubbled, bursting into the room with Majandra at his side, "Ooh, I see we're all getting very comfortable€¦" Quickly he shot Mike and Micky separate "details!" looks. "Yeah, real comfy," Micky said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Well, that's super! Now we can all be happy!" Davy cooed, sending a simpering look at Majandra. Micky, Cordelia, Honey, and Mike managed to leave off glaring at each other long enough to give Davy a collectively astonished look. Davy didn't notice. "Well, you all won't have Majandra and I to worry about for while; we're going on a cruise!"

No response. "Well, we'll be off packing," he wiggled his eyebrows like the sex fiend he was, but he received no reaction whatsoever, "Ta ta!"

He skipped up the stairs, Majandra in tow. Peter and Zelda emerged from an adjacent room, Peter looking sad and Zelda giggling glumly.

"Uh, guys," she giggled nervously.

Four grunts came back, but no one looked away.

"LOOK AT ME!" Zelda screamed. The four heads with identical expressions of horrified wonder swiveled towards her. "Thanks," she continued, "Hee hee. You guys have to promise to be nice to each other while Davy and Majandra are on the cruise. After all, we're all friends." At the word "friends" the boys stiffened and the girls' bottom lips began to tremble. "PROMISE ME," Zelda giggled ominously.

"Oh," they grumbled, scared to death that someone could actually giggle ominously. The only one not scared was Peter Tork, who had found Zelda's aggressive side adorable and completely non-threatening.

With the air still tense with things unsaid, Zelda, Cordelia, Honey, Micky, Mike, and Peter headed off to bed-the boys to their wing and the girls to the other.

"Good night," Mike mumbled politely.

"It better not be," Micky threatened.

That night, no one got much sleep. Micky and Mike were too busy watching the other to see if either would try to sneak off, Peter was too busy watching Micky and Mike to make sure they didn't kill each other, Davy and Majandra were too busy thinking about the cruise and the cramped quarters on boats, Honey and Cordelia were too busy crying, and Zelda was too busy wondering why she was the only sane one in the group.

Not surprisingly, the next morning came far too quickly for all but Davy and Majandra. They made their good-byes and set out for their mystery cruise. After their departure, Peter and Zelda went off to buy more love beads (to give the house a happier aura) and the dark feelings returned. Micky retreated to the music room where he stayed locked up for the whole day, pounding drums and occasionally singing snippets. Mike headed off to bond with his Texan prairie chickens; Cordelia and Honey sent veiled (but only barely) barbs at each other with gritted teeth. Eventually, Cordelia turned to Honey, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

"I don't want to fight," she whimpered, "I know we always assumed that things with the Monkees would be one way, but if they're not that's ok. I just don't want to lose your friendship. That would be too much to bear."

"Oh Cordelia, let's not fight. However it turns out, it turns out. Don't let's be mad. You're more important to me that any guy except John Lennon."

The tears spilled down both girls cheeks and they hugged. Though things would still be slightly strained, at least now they were both on speaking terms.

Mike was also feeling horrible. Micky was, after all, his favorite Monkee, and he didn't want what would have otherwise been a wonderful time (come on, Davy was gone) to turn out horrendously. He headed to the music room and knocked on the door.

"Mick," he called softly.

The angry pounding ceased and Micky opened the door, brushing away the tears quickly. "What?" he muttered gruffly.

"Oh, Micky," Mike said, "I'm so sorry."

"I don't wanna talk about it," Micky replied, "Just read these," and with this he handed Mike three songs. "Now leave," he said, turning away, "Please."

Mike flipped through the songs.

"Holy shit," Mike murmured, "I must find Honey."

Honey and Cordelia were chatting civilly in the living room. Mike entered and cleared his throat.

"Um, Cordelia, could you leave us alone for a moment?" Mike asked.

"Sure," Cordelia replied with a confused look.

"Are you sure you don't want me to leave and her to stay?" Honey asked bitterly.

Mike felt his temper start and he knew he didn't want Honey to EVER see that temper.

"I would not say such things if I were you," he said from between gritted teeth, because quoting The Princess Bride in Monkees fanfic is so much fun.

"OK," Honey squeaked, un peu frightened.

"Would you take a look at these for me?" Mike questioned after taking a deep breath. Honey plucked the three songs from Mike's hand. He watched her eyes grow larger and larger as she read through them.

"Whoa," she breathed.

"That's what I said," Mike exclaimed excitedly, "I mean, Micky's always had an angry side-but this is ridiculous. What do you think they're about?"

"Cordelia," Honey whispered.

"Yeah," Mike replied, "Me too."

They gazed at each other with shocked expressions for a moment before Honey began to read choice lyrics in a soft voice.

"Why am I standing here, missing her and wishing she were here." "Took all I had and then she fed me dirt." "She laughed when I was crying-it was such a joke to see the way it hurt." "She needs someone to walk on so her feet won't touch the ground. But I love her. I need her. I want her."

"Read the next one," Mike murmured.

"Once upon a once in a while, it's hard to remember to smile just like all of your toys." "Can't you say you want me to stay, I'll believe it." "When all of your playthings someday disappear, girl, will you be happy with nothing but tears." "Don't you ever feel kinda sad, cuz you're lonely." "In the next one, all of the lyrics are like that," Mike breathed in her ear.

Honey looked down at the title, "Through the Looking Glass". "Yes, yes they are," she muttered with pity. Mike reached around her for the lyrics just as she whispered, "Poor Micky." Mike's hand jerked back like he had touched a hot iron.

"Yeah, poor Micky," he said quietly, turning to leave.

"Mike," Honey called out. He turned around. "Are we okay now?" she asked gently. Mike forced a smile.

"Yeah, shotgun. We're okay now."

She smiled; a smile that broke his heart.

"Can I come in now?" Cordelia called from the kitchen.

"No," said a voice behind her. She jumped and turn around.

"Oh, it's you, Mick. You scared me."

"Don't call me Mick," he replied.

"Oh, sorry," Cordelia mumbled, embarrassed.

"I'm joking, Cordy," Micky said with a forced smile, "You can call me whatever you want."

"Um, thanks. but could you not call me Cordy, please?" she said awkwardly.

Micky laughed hollowly, "Whatever you say. Listen, I just wanted to apologize for what I said. That was uncalled for. I'm really sorry."

"No, it's not your fault, Micky. But I don't understand; why are they kidnapping us?"

Micky looked at her blankly.

"Whoops, wrong story," [I'm sorry, that was blatantly copied.] "What I meant to say was it's not your fault. I was wrong, too."

Micky's face twisted. "And, it's not like I own you; you can do whatever you want. Or whoever you want."

"Thanks, Micky," Cordelia said, patting his arm, "I'm glad we talked. And the same goes for you. I don't own you either." With that, she went back into the living room-leaving Micky standing alone. He felt the prickle of tears again and said softly,

"But you do. You do own me."

Meanwhile on the cruise ship

"Majandra, dahling, your eyes are like cupcakes floating in a sea of sour cream," Davy cooed to his small mermaid as they ate dinner on the main deck. She sighed happily and leaned onto his chest. Davy took the grape from his fruit cocktail and placed it lusciously into her mouth.

"Oh, Jesus!" someone cried.

Davy ignored him, and picked up a strawberry.

"Yum," Majandra moaned.

A fiendish look crossed Davy's face as he picked up a slice of banana and fed it to her. "So, lovey, would you like to try a bit of a bigger banana?" he whispered wickedly.

"That's it," a stranger cried, rising from his chair, "I'm sick and tired of you being obscene! It's hard enough for me to eat with these dentures as it is; I don't need my appetite ruined, too!"

Davy's mouth fell open.

"What do you plan to do about it, old man?" he taunted.

"THIS!" the old guy cried, hitting Davy over the head with his cane.

"Ow," Davy groaned before crumpling to the floor. Majandra shrieked as the old man cackled in glee. Seconds later, Davy regained consciousness. He felt a sloppy, gooey thing hit his head. "Three points!" the old man shouted.

"Oh, me hair!" Davy muttered. Then having discovered that what had his him was a piece of treacle, he added, "What a waste of good English food."

Majandra jumped out of her seat,

"That's it! First you make fun of my boyfriend. Then you knock him out. But when you publicly disgrace him that's when it gets out of hand!" she screamed before running up and kneeing the old man in the balls.

Nothing happened.

"It's a prosthetic, sweetie," he crowed, "No pain here!"

Davy stood up, wiped the treacle from his hair, and held out his arm.

"Majandra," he said with dignity, "It's time for us to leave." Drawing himself up to his full (but completely ridiculous) height, he lifted Majandra into a lifeboat.

"That's right," cried the old man, "Run away!"

"At least my nuts are real," Davy replied stately. And with that he let the lifeboat drop and began to row Majandra and himself back towards home.

When they entered the bungalow, they were promptly knocked down by Peter and Zelda. "THANK GOD YOU'RE HOME!" the two cried.

"Whoa, easy boy," Davy laughed, "Nice to see you, too."

"Mike, Cordelia, Micky, Honey!" Zelda called, "Guess who's back?"

Soon the entire group was gathered around the two homecomers. The frantic questions were hushed by Davy's raised hand.

"First of all, you ought to know that we used up all the money the Beatles gave us," he said tactlessly.

"WHAAAAT?" Mike yelped, wondering how two very small people could use up such a large sum of money. But before he could completely begin to beat a still chipper Davy, Majandra piped in.

"I'm pregnant," she blurted.

continued