DATE: August 13, 2002.
SCENE: Sour Cream, Desert.
PLACES: All 4 Monkees Are Floating In Sour Cream.

Davy Jones: I’m floating in a sea of sour cream.

Peter Tork: This could be bad for the environment.

Micky Dolenz: -BURPS- Mmm… cupcakes.

Mike Nesmith: Ya know, if ya took out the sour cream it would remind me of a place in Texas.

-EVERYONE STARTS TO SINK-

DATE: August 13, 1970.
SCENE: The Boxing Ring.
PLACES: Sonny Liston And Davy Are Fighting. Mike And Micky Are In The Crowd.

Sonny: -PUNCHES DAVY- I don’t get to show of my smile! –PUNCH- I looked mean! –PUNCH- The movie sucked! –PUNCH- It’s rated R for Ali’s sake! –PUNCH- I didn’t get to kill any monkeys like you said I would! –PUNCH- And I was knocked out by a dumb scarecrow! –PUNCH-

Micky: -JUMPS UP- What?

-CROWD IS SILENT

Micky: -DARTS UP TO THE RING AND CLIMBS IN- Davy, step aside.

Davy: -QUICKLY JUMPS OUT- I’m getting’ the ‘ell out of ‘ere! –RUNS OUT DOOR-

Micky: Hey punk, are you feelin’ lucky? -PUSHES- Are you feelin’ lucky?

Sonny: -BEWILDERED- Uh… yes?

Mike: -THUMBS UP- Liston’s goin’ down.

-EVERYONE STARES AT MIKE-

Mike: Didn’t you guys see the first movie?

Peter: -APPEARS- I’m the still the dumb one Micky. Peace.

Sonny: Yeah, leave me alone. All those hate letters; the flying bricks; the girls with “shooting barrels”; it’s all too much Micky.

Micky: He called me a dumb scarecrow Pete! I mean, it was OK when he was talking about other stuff, but…

Sonny: Micky man, I’m a fan. Don’t hate.

Peter: See now Micky? Sonny’s sorry.

Micky: Yeah. I guess you’re right.

Sonny: -WINCES- -TEAR- Hug? –WRAPS ARMS AROUND MICKY-

Micky: -FLIPS SONNY OVER- Don’t ever call me a dumb scarecrow again!

DATE: August 13, 2002.
SCENE: Set Of “2 Heads: Our Sequel”.
PLACES: Aaron Lohr, George Stanchev, Jeff Geddis, And L.B. Fisher Are Around A Food Table.

Jeff Geddis: So does this mean there will be a “Daydream Believers: Continued”?

L.B. Fisher: Probably. We left a lot unfinished anyway from what I’ve heard.

-MONKEES APPEAR-

Davy: Ya know, Peta’ was too peaceful.

Peter: Davy wasn’t short enough.

Mike: Micky was too funny.

Davy: And too cute.

Micky: Mike was too nice. And Davy needs to be –SHOVES DAVY-.

Jeff and Mike: Such violence!

George Stanchev: I saw “Head”. I didn’t get it.

Aaron Lohr: I don’t think we were supposed to.

Micky: I am funny, aren’t I?

Aaron: -IGNORES- I like the desert scene.

Micky: -QUICKLY- Well, let’s do it again, shall we?

DATE: August 13, 2002.
SCENE: Desert Scene II Too.
PLACES: Micky. Desert. Enough Said. A.K.A. “Micky Wants Another Desert”.

Micky: -FALLS IN SAND- It’s hotter than the last set!

Voice: 87 degrees Dolenz.

Micky: -LOOKS AROUND- Hark!

Voice: Echo! I mean –CLEARS THROAT- Hark-ark-ark-ark!

Micky: -GLANCES AROUND- Hey! -POINTS- It’s a soda machine! -RUNS TO MACHINE- Vanilla Coke?

VoiceS: -SINGING- Things go better with Vanilla Cola! Things go better with Vanilla!

Micky: -SQUINTS- -STICKS HAND IN POCKET, TAKES OUT $1- This better work! –PUTS MONEY IN MACHINE-

Machine: DISNEY WORLD SODA MACHINE. $2.25

Micky: -MOUTH DROPS- What?!

Voice: Do it Micky; beat up the machine. We're waiting for it.

Micky: -GULPS- -SEARCHES POCKET- Another dollar! -PUTS DOLLAR IN MACHINE-

Machine: 25 CENTS LEFT TO GO.

Voice: No Micky. Don’t use the money. Beat up the machine.

Micky: Shut up! -SEARCHES POCKETS AND PULLS THEM INSIDE OUT- -WATCHES QUARTER FALL TO SAND IN SLOW MOTION- Yes!

-WIND STARTS TO BLOW HARD AND SAND FLIES EVERWHERE-

-COIN DISAPPEARS-

Voice: Uh-oh. –FOOTSTEPS HEARD RUNNING-

Micky: Noooooooo! -COLLAPSES AND SEARCHES FOR QUARTER-

Machine: HA HA HA HA HA!

Voice: I’m back and I wasn’t the one who did that. –CLEARS THROAT- Do it Micky. Do it!

Micky: -LOUD BREATHING- No no no! MICKY BERRY ANGRY!

Voice: Go!

Micky: -TAKES DEEP BREATH- No man. I’m ok. –WALKS OFF SET-

Voice: Noooooooooo!

VoiceS: -SINGING- Things go better when you take your Prozac! Things go better, oh yeah!

DATE: August 13, 2002.
SCENE: The Black Box.
PLACES: Micky Is Asleep. Mike and Davy Are Playing Patty-Cake. Peter Is In The Corner Meditating.

Peter: Yes master. –STAND UP- Guys!

Mike: Come on Davy! Cheater! -SLAPS-

Davy: How do you cheat in Patty-Cake?

Mike: You slap too hard! -POUTS-

Peter: Guys!

Micky: -SNORES- I don’t wanna go make a new “Circus Boy”… NO!

Peter: -CLEARS THROAT- GUYS!

Micky: What was that Bimbo? -HOPS UP-

Davy: You messed up our game.

Peter: I have something to say.

Davy: We know Peta’. You know nothing. Don’t go through a whole speech again now that we know that you know nothing.

Peter: Actually, I was just gonna say that maybe you should kick the door open again.

Mike: Ya know, we can’t even think of something original to do. We did the boxing scene and the desert scene again, with a twist. How about somethin’ different?

Paul McCartney: -APPEARS- Well, maybe I can ‘elp. I mean, I was in “A Hard Day’s Night”, “Yellow Submarine”, “Help!” and other great Beatles’ movies, not that I’m still hanging on to them or anything.

Peter: He’s right you know.

Paul: -NODS-

Mike: Wait now. How did you get in here?

Paul: Through the door.

Mike, Micky, and Peter: What door?

Paul: -POINTS INTO DARKNESS- -RAISES EYEBROWS SUSPICIOUSLY- It’s ova’ there mates.

-FOUR MONKEES STARE AT EACH OTHER AND RACE INTO THE DARKNESS-

Micky: Hey! Who hit me?

Mike: Don’t even… ugh! Who kicked me?

Peter: I think that was I. Sorr… ow!

Davy: Let me tell you guys something! Four ‘eads may seem better than one, but your three piss me off!

-SILENCE-

Paul: Now that’s a movie I’d like to be in. Oh, I am.

-FOUR MONKEES APPEAR BACK IN LIGHT-

Peter: -POUTS- What?

Micky: Geez man!

Mike: Yeah! Maybe we should go back in time to when people chopped heads off. Then you wouldn’t have to deal with our heads.

Davy: It’s not your ‘eads…

Mike: Oh. Well, we’ll get our heads chopped off and be sure to send you the remains.

Peter: That was gross Michael. He’s got something there though Davy.

Davy: You shouldn’t be mad at me! Michael’s the one who doesn’t tour with us!

Micky: Peter doesn’t either now dude.

Davy: Oh yeah… well, Micky and I will find a way out by ourselves!

Mike: Fine!

Davy: Fine!

Peter: Fine!

Micky: Fine!

Paul: Whom shall I go with then?

Davy: Us! -STICKS TONGUE OUT AT MIKE AND PETER-

Mike: Pete and I don’t need an ex-Beatle’s help anyway.

Paul: This is intense.

Four Monkees: Shut up!

Jack Nicholson: -APPEARS- Guys. Guys. Guys.

Peter: -GRABS JACK- We get Jack!

Davy: Ay! That’s not fair! We didn’t know he would be ‘ere!

Davy: -GRABS PAUL’S ARM- We’re going alone Micky. You’re just a little too wired today.

Jack: Come on guys, you’ve been friends for…

Micky: -PUTS FISTS UP- Paul! Davy! Put ‘em up greenies!

Jack: -WIDE EYES- Screw this! The dumb scarecrow’s got his fists out! -RUNS AWAY-

Micky: What did he call me?

Paul: -GETS GUITAR FROM DARKNESS- -SINGS- Come togetha’ right now! All ya need is love!

All: Shut up!

Paul: Well… -DISAPPEARS INTO DARKNESS-

Davy: Ay, where did my partner go?

Micky: You scared everyone away! I can make my own movie!

Mike: I’ve already done it.

Peter: Geez, you don’t have to shove it in our faces Michael.

-BICKER BICKER BICKER-

-BLAH BLAH BLAH-

-COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN-

-GIANT SCREEN FLICKS ON FROM DARKNESS-

Bob Raphaelson: -VOICE- Watch. Listen. Love.

-CUTS OF EPISODES FLICK ON SCREEN-

Micky: “Love is the ultimate trip.”

Peter: “Mike, we've decided we're not gonna let you take this lying down!”

Mike: “Well, we've done it again folks, another rung up the never-ending ladder of success.”

Davy: “Once you're in, you're in. It's like the Mafia. Once a Monkee, always a Monkee.”

-SCREEN FLICKS OFF-

-SILENCE-

Four Monkees: Oh! I love you guys! I can’t believe we were fighting! Oh!

-AWWWWWW…-

DATE: August 13, 2002.
SCENE: Concession Stand At Baseball Game.
PLACES: Four Monkee Staring At A Menu.

Worker: You guys have been staring long enough. What do you want?

Davy: A piece of cheese.

Worker: -GLANCES AT MENU- I don’t think we give pieces of cheese.

Peter: Corn.

Mike: 6 packets of ketchup.

Micky: Chips.

Worker: Now that I can do. –GETS CHIPS-

Peter: I want my corn!

Davy: CHEESE!

Mike: -WIDE EYES- -CROSSES ARMS- -TWITCH- Ketchup!

Worker: -GIVES MICKY CHIPS- That’ll be $2.25…

Micky: -GASPS- Memories… memories engulf me. Kill me. –POUTS- Hurt me. A distant Coke machine clicks back someone’s change. The humming of the machine sounds in my brain at night when I dream about… Coke machines. The cool feeling of the soda touching my skin, peeling away all the dry skin and leaving it wet and clean, makes me tingle. And if I drink too much it makes me tinkle. The fulfilling taste of the Cola in my mouth… the…

Peter: Micky. Micky… it’s ok. –PUTS HAND ON SHOULDER OF MICKY-

Micky: -CHUCKLES- Heh… you’re right. –TAKES $2 FROM POCKET AND QUARTER- Here babe. –TAKES CHIPS AND GIVES MONEY TO WORKER AND QUARTER FALLS FROM MICKYS HAND-. Nooooo! -QUARTER TWIRLS AND ROLLS UNDER FOOD STAND-. Noooo! That’s it! -KICKS STAND- Hold on. –EATS CHIP- Nooo! Mmmm… these chips are…

DATE: August 13, 2002.
SCENE: Sour Cream Desert.
PLACES: 4 Heads Above Sour Cream.

Micky: … good! -DIPS CHIPS IN SOUR CREAM-

Peter: Micky! Eat the sour cream!

Micky: What does it look like I’m doing?

Mike: It’s our only hope!

Davy: -GURGLES-

Mike: One man down! Spread the chips! I’ll be the commanding officer! -PULLS WALKIE TALKIE FROM SOUR CREAM- Big Bird to Elmo. I says Big Bird to Elmo… what is your location?

Micky: -TOSSES CHIPS-

-THREE MONKEES EAT CHIPS WITH AS MUCH SOUR CREAM AS POSSIBLE-

Davy: I can breath! It’s not the best scent –GAGS-, but I can breathe!

-FOUR MONKEES KEEP’A EATIN’-

-ALL CLIMB OUT-

Mike: Yahoo!

Micky: I think I‘m gonna hurl.

Peter: I’m full.

Davy: My face! It’s all…

Mike: Well, it seems like our movie has ended. 10-4.

Peter: You mean begun.

Voice: No, it’s the end of the beginning, so let’s get a “Head Start” on our journey into… the twilight zone… dodododododododo…

LITTLE DITTY:
When it’s 4 vs. you
We take the cake!
1 2 3 4
Shake shake shake!