Fate

Self mutilation,
created my self discrimination,
contemplation
in what I am facing,
my dad starts a long investigation,
on my life and what I was creating,
wanting now to participate,
and reality of it is that its full of hate...
and yet the only words from his mouth is the fact that all he knows is fate,
honestly, that is a word that I can't seem to rate,
looking back on my life and things God did create,
it was fate
that brought us together and fate that took us apart,
it was fate that took a knife and stabbed me in the heart,
it was fate that gave me a dead end from the start.
Fate has screwed me since day fucking one,
prejudices against me cuz I am too young,
cuz I don't know what best for me,
and in my reality,
its only me that can see the person I am starting to be,
a lonely depressee,
employee to the democracy,
which has screwed me, for eternity,
cuz of my runaway catastrophe....
lonely....so alone and so insane,
it seems to me, it's the pain that is keeping me sane,
keeping me alive through this pouring fucking rain...
taking a ride down medicating lane...
it all started out when my daddy left me at four,
he walked out the door,
and it was then that I saw only pussies let their tears pour,
then in the sixth grade life seemed to be pushing me to the floor,
I couldn't take it anymore...
too young to be a whore,
and too old be a boar...
I decided to take matter into my own god damned hands,
it seemed for those three years on my wrist the knife lands,
shit got better for the little time I had,
then shit went corrupt and this little girl went mad,
she was unaware of where my direction would steer,
I went straight for the sess, pills and beer.
My dad got this great idea for me to disappear,
things now still aren't clear...
fate just seems to find its ways to appear.
I am so near to the point I won't talk or hear...
fate has fucked me since the day I was born,
life is like the bull and fate is the fucking horns,
driving into my soul,
ripping apart anything that I can hold,
so fucking do your investigation,
but don't ever tell me fate brought me to my destination,
and that somehow I should show some appreciation,
I will accept the fact that fate brought me to my mutilation,
but don't think for one second you beat this situation!!

----- by Gabrielle

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