what i deserve

i deserve a painful death
i deserve a crown of thorns
pain tinted jewelry adorned
just to have all of the things
that i love
striped away
while i bleed to death
on the words that i say
i don’t want u now
can’t u see
because i blew it all
just so i could
infuse myself
with that
happy wanted feeling.
bring it all back
so i can shove it down
take it back
so i won’t feel
as badly as i do now
i deserve a break
a pause in life
so i can take it all back
and kill myself before i do it the
next time

----- by Jessica Norris
(aka downer gurl)

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