Obviously I am not like that. I am at 8 months in my quit and blabbing nonstop in this website. Ha Ha Ha! I wear the subject out! I word it and reword it and then rearrange the words again to see it from another angle. I want explanation! I want definition! I want it spelled out in plain English. I want to know what a craving is!
Some people like to know what they're up against before they walk into the ring and box a few rounds with it. "Nicodemon" was an unknown for me - for all of us. We read the billboards and follow his career because we know we are going to end up in that ring, eye-to-eye with him. We know we are going to stand toe-to-toe with Nic and take some punches.
We know ourselves. I personally, went into training big time! I hired "The Patch" to train me. He was pretty good, but I also brought "Zyban" on the team for reinforcement. Together, they were in my corner cheering me on and shouting strategies in the first rounds.
Nic got a few good jabs in, but nothing I couldn't take. My family was sitting in the front row. My friends and co-workers were also out there in the stands. I could hear all of them urging me to keep going, "Don't throw in the towel!"
I feel like I'm out of the ring now. I feel like that was a long long time ago. I remember thinking ... "I can take anything Nic deals me if I hold on long enough." That's what a craving is. It is one punch. And you can take it. Some are lighter than others. Some are down and dirty. Some are from the back, when you aren't looking. And once or twice Nic has come into my corner and cheated when I was in my "safe" zone.
Now, I watch the fights holding a trophy above my head with white knuckles and pride. I don't plan to ever enter the ring with Nic again. To be frank with you, I don't know if I can. This one time was probably enough for me.
Good luck, and I'm cheering for you, can you hear me?
