We are so very accustomed to instant fixes with our cigarette crutch! Now, we are learning "patience" and how to wait it out. We are not used to waiting for anything.
I am going to be 4 months quit tomorrow. Believe you me, I am learning patience and understanding and the art of waiting for something good to bloom.
We have used our cigarette crutch for so long that we hardly know how to develop patience in ourselves. We are suddenly learning how to be patient.
Imagine yourself fishing. If there's anything that encourages patience, it's fishing! You sit there in anticipation for hours sometimes. And sometimes you don't catch a thing. But that doesn't stop an eager fisherman from trying again tomorrow. He has learned that one time at the pond isn't the beginning and end to a great fish story! He learned a long time ago that the art of telling the story of the "granddaddy that got away" was something that develops over a season, sometimes more than one season, sometimes years!
You know what else happens to you when you fish? You have to sit patiently at the water's edge and you begin to observe. Beautiful things happen when you observe. You learn. You appreciate. You take notice. You grow. You understand.
Remember what it used to be like when you were feeling stress? You marched out immediately and lit up that crutch! I would usually announce to the people in my "space" ... I need a cigarette! That could also be taken as a signal to them that I'm getting hot under the collar, can't handle the stress, and need my fixall, my cigarette. How very unimaginative. How very very simple-minded. I mean, really, it takes very little skill to solve the problem by smoking. I'd come back, calmer, better, fixed.
Now, I have to handle it differently. I can still march out of the room, I guess, but believe it or not, I don't. I usually stay right there in the heat. I stick around for all the excitement. I'm part of the solution now. Instead of running off and avoiding the issues, I am there to the end.
And we need to learn patience. We aren't used to exercising patience. We need to develop patience. And also, how to live in the moment, nomatter what it is. Even if it's a difficult moment, an awkward moment, an uncomfortable moment ... we need to learn how to resolve issues.
