And knowing that, hearing it compared to herion so many times, hearing the statistics that are so low of those who actually make it free ... I gave up before I started.
It's like anything else we talk about and roll around in our heads and think about, we listen and then make a decision based on the various elements of this issue. And I always chose the same decision based on the horrible news, I always turned away from this huge mountain standing in my path.
I always walked up to it, stared long and hard at how huge it was, listened to people talk about how near impossible it was, and then walked away from it, judging myself inadequate, ill-equipped, not quite ready, too nervous, too upset right now, too delicate.
I always walked away before the test ever played out. I walked away before I gave myself a chance to try it. I wasn't one of those people who quit and then failed and then quit again. I was worse, I gave up before I tried.
It was too big. It was too impossible. It was too hard. It was too much to even think about.
Basically I short-changed myself. I judged myself poorly. I decided I wasn't capable of such a tremendous change. I decided I couldn't do it. The addiction was just too big. And I was just too small. And it would never happen for me. I realized that other people were able to do it, but to me, that was like comparing apples and oranges. The 2 didn't have anything to do with each other. I wasn't like those people, whoever they were. I just couldn't do it.
And the really strange thing about all of this is that once you do something that you were so sure you couldn't, once you manage to actually succeed when you believed so soundly that you would fail, once you do that - the gates open very wide! It's as if you suddenly see two things very clearly, and then the gates swing open and stay open. The first thing is that you were wrong. You were soooo wrong about yourself. And the second thing is that you taste success on your tongue.
Once those 2 things happen for you, the sky's the limit! I believed I would fail for 30 years. I believed that about myself and never even allowed myself to consider it any other way. And then puny me made it! Puny, weak, ill-equipped, awkward me made it!!! And that was amazing!!! {ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha}
And I could see myself turn around and yell at the "jury" in my head ... the "committee" in my mind, I could see myself yell at them "see, you were wrong about me!!!!" I fired all of those negative committee members who were wrong about me. What do they know? Nothing!
{ha ha ha ha ha ha} I don't need them telling me that I can't do things in life!!! {ha ha ha ha}
Taste success and watch those gates slowly swing open and reveal all sorts of possibilities beyond just waiting for you to reach out and take.
But telling you about it has no more affect than it did on me when I heard about it all those years. I don't know what happens, or why or how. But I do know that the secret lies in believing in yourself. And when you do, it opens the gates to success.
Believe you can do it!
