One of the good thoughts is about quitting smoking and how happy I am now. I think about how free I am and how perfect is finally is. We can only hope for tiny moments of perfection in this world. And stopping smoking is one of mine. It's like a delicate beautiful egg that somebody painted the most perfect picture on. I would die if it were crushed. One cigarette will crush it.
As I'm sitting there in my world of peace, watching the river flow in front of me, Nico slinks into my life (old stranger!) and he slides up on the bench beside of me and smiles at me.
I am not afraid of him anymore. I tolerate his presence, patiently .. knowing I will win this battle. So, I listen, patiently ... amused at his attempt to tempt me.
He says to me "Remember? Remember how you always admired those people who could come home from work and smoke just one cigarette and never be hooked? Remember that? Remember how you wished you were one of them? Well, you can be now. now you have licked it, you can be one of those kinds of smokers. So, why not buy a pack on your way home and just have one tonight? Tomorrow you should only have one, of course, but go ahead ... you made it! You're one of them now!"
I said "Yeah, nico, I'm one of them with one small difference. I'm the kind who's an addict and for me, that one will land me right back into the pack a day habit again. So, nice try .. no go! Bye, till next time."
He visits me very infrequently now. I am just short of 5 months - 4 months and 3 weeks. He is becoming a stranger to me. You too! Don't smoke even one. I'm an addict and I know that just one will do me in.
