Stop and think about the moments when your chest swells with pride and you feel about 10 feet tall and the smile is plastered all over your face and won't go away. You ever try to squelch a smile when it just belongs on your face? :)
That's pride! I love pride. I love pride a little too much. I've always been prideful. I've always walked too tall and sassy and had a devil-may-care attitude. I started smoking at 17 and if I think back to all those cigarettes that I smoked, I probably can't think of too many that made me proud.
When I think of what has made me proud of myself, I think of the kids and moments when I was teaching them something.
I think of times when I did something good at work and it was just one of those flukes when I was able to shine!
I think of competition and races and coming in first. I think of holding a medal or blue ribbon.
I think of fish, big huge fish and old men's jealous eyes. I think of tape measures and scales and cameras and big huge fish.
I think of ball games and tears rolling down my face and hugs for all the kids.
I think of the day I was strong enough to say "I quit" and I did it and I stuck to it and I'm hanging onto that like it was some damned silver plated trophy that was handed to me in front of 1000 people who clapped and cheered.
And defeat is the opposite of pride. I love pride a little too much. Always have. I remember when I was a young girl in school - having an "attitude." I have not lost that attitude yet. I'm not that young girl anymore and I am considerably wiser than her. But I still walk with my head a little too high.
That's just me. For me, pride works.
You all have something that is part of you and something that is ingrain. You all have something that is part of your "makeup" and can't be separated from it. Find it and then incorporate it into your quit. Find that thing that makes you tick and then view your quit from that place.
For me, it's pride. And if I take that view and study it and "know it" then I know that the opposite is not something I want for myself. You who say you loved smoking - - why? What was there that you loved? I used to say that too and now I think it was just an addiction. I can't think of one moment with a stinky cigarette hanging out of my mouth that I could pick up a mirror and say "I am so proud of that face!" I can't think of one cigarette that helped me be a better me. I would not trade that smoking life for this life.
In order to do this, you have to get basic tho. You have to peel away the false images of smoking and you have to see it for what it really is/was to you. It's an addiction. Looking back, I can't see anything good it added to my life. Looking back, it was a crutch.
And looking ahead, I know that it's my pride that will carry me thru the moment that gets rough. Cause I want that feeling to stay. Is that wrong? If it is, then I don't care. It works for me. Find the thing that works for you and hold tight.
