From my prison cell, I watch the world go by. I can reach through the cell bars and touch my children and talk to them and whisper sweet words of love. They have asked me to go with them on their class field trips and I have to once more explain that I cannot leave my cell. I tell them I'm too busy, but what I really meant was that I couldn't open my cell door and leave. The door was never locked tho. I can leave if I want to. I just don't want to.
Every day I renew my cell dedication. I buy another pack and I sign on the dotted line that I will remain in my cell for another 24 hours. I feel safe in here. I have been here for so long that it is very comfortable. I like it here.
I see others outside this prison and know they live without this cell as I do, but I can't imagine it right now. I don't know how they did it.... and I don't want to go through whatever hell they endured to leave their cells. I know they say it's possible, but I really just don't want to go through it. I'm afraid it would hurt too much. I'm afraid it would just take more than I have to make it. I've tried before and didn't make it. I probably can't make it if I try again, so, why bother? I'm fine.
My cell mates are my closest and dearest friends. We have each other and we are happy. If I leave, I would be leaving them and I can't do that to them. They aren't ready to leave, so I'll stay a little longer too. I wouldn't like it if I became like the others out there and looked at us in our cells with pity. I hate those looks of pity or those self righteous phrases they toss at me. I really do not want to join that group of people. I like my friends in here.
I'm fine. This is just fine. I have no reason to try and change anything. I'm satisfied with my life.
Do I need to tell you how I feel today? If you have ever read anything I've written, you will see freedom in those lines and also, "I can fly!!!!!"
