If you go down to the Castle today,
You're sure of a big surprise
If you go down to the castle today,
You'd better go in disguise.

For ev'ry Brit that ever there was,
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day that John gets back from England.

Ev'ry boy who's been good,
Is sure of a treat today.
There's lots of marvellous things to drink,
And wonderful slots to play

Beneath the Towers where nobody sees
They'll drink beer as long as they please
'Cause that's D Way the Brits have a party

If you go down to the Castle Sunday,
You'd better not go alone
It's lovely down in the Castle Sunday,
But safer to stay at home.

For Dave Way and Mike in hats and coats
Will be stuck down  there for certain, because
Today's the day that John Dixon has a nic pic.

Nic pic  time for Dave and Mike,
You know you thought they might
Have snuck away earlier that night

See them both hang about,
As John loves to rant and shout;

And by twelve o'clock they wish their Mummies and Daddies,
Would take them home to bed,
Because they're tired little of taking shop.

It was nic pic time for Dave and Mike,
Little Dave and Mike weren’t having a lovely time that day,
Watch them, catch them unawares,
And see them working on their Sunday.