Within minutes fans had set up more hate sites than thought possible.
They publicly declared that they would no longer listen to the boys' music
and denounced the fiancés as well as the boys themselves. Others challenged
the turncoats. They believed in Kevin and Brian's right to date, to choose
their own lives. Everyone spends so much time looking for their one true
love, they pointed out, if Kevin and Brian have found theirs, kudos to them!
Still others used humor to relieve the tension. Jokes about How Kev and Bri
were engaged, but not to each other, became quickly annoying.
And through it all one life flickered on the brink of despair. He stood
on the balcony of his tenth floor suite in Albany, New York, waiting.
Waiting for what, or whom, he didn't know, but he waited just the same. He
watched as foreboding storm clouds rolled in, thinking he should go inside,
but he didn't move. Thousands of memories flowed through his mind, fragments
of his life, past relationships, past family, past friends. Without
realizing it, he began to speak.
"Why do things have to be so complicated all of the time?" he asked the
winds. "Why can't it just be simple? Why can't I just be happy. Why can't I
find love like Brian and Kevin. Why? Why...Why WHY???" He was almost
shouting now. Suddenly he calmed. "I don't want much, just someone who makes
me complete... Someone who wants me for me, not for some rock star.
Someone..." He trailed off, leaning his head against the cold metal of the
railing.
"Who am I kidding," he choked out, his voice cracking. He laughed
bitterly. "All I want is Princess Charming to ride up on a white horse and
sweep me away to the land of happily ever after."
"Nick! Where are you... we have to go take a vote about if we want to
stay here tonight or start for North Carolina!"
Nick straightened instantly at the sound of Howie's voice. He wiped a
hand across his eyes and snapped his carefully created masque back into
place. "I'm out here Man," he called, no sign in his voice that he'd been on
the verge of tears. He sighed and walked into the suite.