The darkness of the night still enveloped the sky. The stars remained sparkling and the only light that came through the window was that of the moon and an annoying street light that buzzed loudly and flickered incessantly. Kindlin blinked in the dark, her eyes staring dejectedly out the bedroom window. She was on her side--as Nick was on his, behind her, with his arm wrapped around her waist--and Kindlin knew she would get no more sleep that night. Her eyes wandered to the alarm clock on her night stand. It blinked midnight and she figured Nick had unplugged it for some reason and hadn't bothered resetting the time.
They had found out earlier that day that Kindlin was pregnant. Kindlin didn't think it possible to feel as depressed as she was on such a day.
"Why are you awake?" Nick mumbled, half-asleep as his arms wound tighter around her. "You need your sleep. It's good for the baby."
Surprised with his concern, Kindlin turned to look at him, noticing he had fallen back asleep. She grew confused. Nick didn't seem to care for the baby--he definitely didn't want him or her--so it seemed as though it wouldn't matter if Kindlin were to miscarry or have other complications. But then again, that was just what Nick was afraid of--losing another baby. But, with how detached Nick had made himself from the pregnancy, and in ways, even Kindlin, would the baby's death even affect him? Kindlin shuddered.
She continued to lie there, unable to let sleep take her, through the rest of the night. Hours after the sun had risen, Nick awoke to find the other side of the bed empty. He could hear the kids running around and playing downstairs and a few minutes later Kindlin was telling them to come for breakfast. Appealed by the thought of eating breakfast with his wife and kids--and at food, in general--Nick jumped from the bed and raced out of the room.
It felt like a good day. He had already forgotten of the baby.
~ * ~
Kindlin took Aaron's hands as he waddled around the family room on shaky legs. Leighanne cooed as she clapped her hands in front of her, urging him to walk to her. Nick and Brian laughed, watching the terrified look on Aaron's face, his lip quivering as he began to cry.
"Oh, sweetie, is mommy making you walk when you're not ready?" Nick picked Aaron up, detaching his little hands from Kindlin's fingers. "Come to daddy; he won't make you walk."
Aaron gurgled happily, touching Nick's face with chubby fingers.
Kindlin sighed happily, "You're gonna turn him against me by the time he's ten."
Nick grinned at her, showing all teeth, before turning back to Aaron, beginning to make silly faces.
"Well, we better get goin'," Brian stood from the couch and walked to where Leigh was sitting on the floor. "C'mmon, Leigh, let's skidaddle."
She stood, gripping Brian's hand, and after a few minutes of saying good-bye to Nick, Kindlin, and Aaron, they left.
Kindlin sighed and went into the kitchen to clean up dinner. Nick wandered in a few minutes later, after putting Aaron to bed. Without asking, he began to help her.
"Thanks, babe," Kindlin smiled over at him. Since finding out that she was pregnant, he'd been strangely attentive. Kindlin knew that he would deny it having anything to do with the baby, if she were to ask.
"For what?"
"I don't know," she stopped what she was doing and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding his face so he was looking at her, "for being you, for us, for our children, for loving us the way you do."
Nick tensed against her arms, casting his eyes to the floor below them.
"Watching you with Aaron tonight just touched my heart. You're a good father, Nick," she leaned up to kiss him, "and a good husband."
His eyes watered and he hung his head in shame. Once again he was seeing what a wondering woman she was, and seeing all of his inward ugliness. "I hate when you get this way, Kin."
"Why??"
"Because none of it's true!"
"Yes, it is, Nick," she spoke earnestly, her eyes searching his for a sign of belief. "Nick, we have grown over the years, and matured, and gratefully we got the chance to do it together. I loved watching those changes take place in you. I'd like to think I know you inside and out pretty darned well ... I know how much you love your family."
"I do love you guys. All of you ... each and every one of you," his hand went to rest on her stomach and in that moment Kindlin's heart almost stopped beating.
I believe for every heart that whispers in the dark there's a ray of light somewhere shining through It was sink or swim when the tide came in I found myself, when I found you
I found the closest thing to heaven Yes, in you I found the deepest love I knew Ooh, ohh I believe, yes it's true I found myself when I found you, yeah
I believe for every door that's closed and for every heart break there's hope for something new From the ashes rise a glimpse of paradise Yes, it flickered in your eyes when I found you
I found the closest thing to heaven Yes, in you I found the deepest love I knew Ooh, ohh I believe, yes it's true I found myself when I found you
A life unfolds, no one knows I thought love was just a tingling of the skin I felt so alone, all alone, more than you could ever know You showed deeper love, sweet love When I found you
I found the closest thing to heaven I found the deepest love I knew I found the closest thing to heaven Found myself when I found you
I found the closest thing to heaven Yes, in you I found the deepest love I knew Ooh, ohh I believe, yes it's true I found myself when I found you
-When I Found You, Britney Spears
