Innocent, Unknowing: Chapter 8: Dead End Moon

Nick threw all cares to the wind and crawled out of bed at three in the morning, his muscles creaking with every step he took towards his bedroom door. A pile of shoes were sitting piled by the front door and it didn't take long for him to find a pair of his own to slip on. With a coat draped over one arm, Nick left, locking the door behind him.

Kindlin groaned sleepily as she awoke two hours later, her arms stretching to her side and feeling no warm body beside her. Nick was always beside her. She could count on one hand the number of times her husband had gotten out of bed before her.

"Nick?" she called softly, not wanting to startle her children out of their own sleep at five in the morning. "Nicky?" Her second attempt resulted in the same response as the first. Quiet.

Nick was still sitting on the cold grass in front of his daughter's tombstone when the sun began to rise. He'd been sitting there for three hours. With a yawn and a stretch he stood before bending down again to brush his fingers across the cold slab of cement. He hated to admit it, but this was the first time he'd come to the cemetary to see his baby's grave since Andraya's burial.

"I gotta get over this, babygirl," Nick's voice was deep and hoarse with pent up emotion as he tightened his coat around his body. "I'm not forgetting you, but your mommy's pregnant again and ... I gotta give that baby a piece of my heart too."

His chest burned with a need to cry and suddenly there were no tears left to fall. He was finally able to move on. Finally. As Nick walked back home he stopped by the ocean and watched as the waves lapped up against the sand for a few minutes. He needed to get back to his wife and children. The house was still quiet when Nick stepped back inside. He shed his coat and shoes on his way up the stairs and back to his bedroom. Kindlin's eyes were closed as he stepped inside and slid back beneath the covers.

"Where were you?" she mumbled from her side of the bed, her eyes still shut.

He looked over at her, having thought she was asleep. After a minute or two, he sighed and answered, "I went to Andraya's grave."

"You did what?" she sat up on her elbow and leaned over towards him, looking him straight in the eyes.

Nick didn't feel like he had to say it again. He'd said it once and she'd obviously heard him, so he laid there and looked back at her, but his eyes were glossed with something that Kindlin couldn't quite place.

"What is it, Nick?"

"I'm gonna be okay."

Her eyebrows moved together in confusion, "What do you mean?"

Suddenly a blinding smile was on her husband's face and he jumped up on the bed, "I'm gonna be okay!! I'm so gonna be okay!"

With the way he was jumping around, waving his arms in the air, there was no way that Kindlin could stop herself from smiling ... and laughing. Nick hadn't been this carefree and childish since the death of Andraya. She got up and stood in front of him, both panting from their bouts of laughter, as they stood wobbly on the soft mattress.

"Really, baby?" she grinned up at him, her eyes shining.

"Really."

Nick's arms wrapped quickly around her body in a fierce hug. There was no place he'd rather be. Maybe Andraya's death did have a purpose, though at first it had been hard to see. There was no chance of Nick taking his family for granted again. It took losing one of them to see how important they were to him.