Chapter 27: Broken Heart
Sure, he loved her. There was no question about that. The question was: in exactly what way? She was pregnant with his baby, they'd been friends for years before that. What had started as brotherly love had progressed into a sexual relationship as many do. Best friends turned lovers. It was a classic tale. But as soon as she'd conceived his child, things had changed. Suddenly he'd needed to know exactly where she was at all times, he'd felt he needed to protect her and their baby from all harm...and maybe he'd mistaken his care for romantic love.
Maybe he had loved her romantically at one point in time. He didn't know...but he did know that for weeks now he'd felt estranged from her, as she fluttered busily around the house preparing for the child that was due in four weeks. At a time when he felt he should be growing closer to her, he felt rather alone. This wasn't how he'd expected this to be. This wasn't what he'd signed on for. And yet, he knew deserting his new family just wasn't an option.
He only hoped she wouldn't catch on. She didn't need a broken heart--he knew that--and a broken heart was nothing short of what Brittany would feel if she ever found out that Freddy wasn't in love with her.
Nick/Sarah
"He's gotta tell her."
"No, he doesn't. You want him to break her heart??"
"She has to know."
"What if she became so upset she did something irrational and hurt herself? What if she lost the baby?"
"She's not going to commit suicide. She's stronger than that."
"A man that she feels is her soul mate, a man she thinks she will marry, doesn't love her."
Sarah slumped back against the headboard of her bed, defeated. She knew Nick was right--Brittany didn't need such a shock while still pregnant--but how was Sarah supposed to let Brittany continue to think that Freddy was in love with her?
"No good can come from this, Nick. It's a lose-lose situation."
"Of course it is," Nick nodded. "I know."
"And I know he loves her...and so do you."
Later that night, Nick sat in Sarah's living room, talking to Freddy on the telephone. It was so discouraging to hear the depression in Freddy's voice. Freddy and Brittany had been such a wonderful pair for so long and their relationship was completely unraveling...and Brittany didn't even know it. For so long Sarah had looked up to the relationship that Freddy and Brittany shared, attempting to model their own after their friends'. The thought now frightened Nick.
"Freddy," Nick was saying in a hushed tone as to not awaken Sarah who was sleeping down the hall in her bedroom. "Just make her the happiest woman alive...at least for four more weeks."
"I'm trying. It's so hard to keep up this pretense though. I don't even know what's wrong with me. One minute, I'm so wrapped up in all the baby stuff that I don't even have time to think of anything outside the subject. I stepped away for one minute. One minute, Nick." Freddy's voice grew quieter than ever. "And in that time, I looked at my life, zooming on around me. It was like my own life didn't even need me. And I realized how much I don't want this."
Nick felt a chill run down his spine. Freddy had never said that before. Not to him, at least. "You don't want the baby, Freddy?"
Freddy's voice was filled with pain as he answered. "It's not that, really. I don't know. This is all so complicated...so unexpected."
"I know, man. Do you think you can just hold out until she has the baby? Just four or so more weeks."
"Yeah, I can do that. I've got to, man. I'd still do anything to protect them. If that means pretending, then so be it."
Sarah opened her eyes and looked through the dark to her bedroom door as she heard Nick come in. She could see his outline and felt the bed dip when he got in beside her. She felt his hand run across her body and felt wonderfully content as she moved to him and let him hold her and kiss her and caress her...they made love that night, feeling grateful for the relationship they'd been blessed with, as they thought sorrowfully of their friends' crumbling future.
Freddy/Brittany
Brittany walked slowly down the staircase, groping the wall in the dark. She'd awoken to find Freddy gone from bed, which was nothing new lately. Normally, she'd just fall back asleep, but after weeks of this she knew she needed to find out what was going on with him. His mind had been elsewhere as of late...she'd just been pretending not to have noticed. If she let on that she'd noticed, she'd no doubtedly hear bad news and she knew that bad news was something she really didn't need. But could she honestly just go on, pretending? Pretending that she hadn't seen his odd behavior? Of course not. She had to ask, had to talk with him...had to face the music.
She found him outside on the back porch, leaning against the railing. Who in their right mind got up in the middle of the night to stargaze? Someone whose mind was cluttered with issues that warded off all chances of sleeping.
"Freddy?" Brittany spoke quietly as she stepped through the glass doors, wrapping a blanket that she'd grabbed from the living room around her shoulders.
He jumped at the sudden sound of her voice, turning, his eyes coming to rest in hers. He saw the confusion in them and as she read the misery in his own eyes, he watched the confusion change to dread. What was he doing? He was messing up their entire plan, their entire agreement, and yet he couldn't help it. It was so hard to pretend, to act, all day, every day. He tried to smile at her, now, attempting to reassure her. But reassure her of what? The romantic love that he didn't feel for her?
She didn't fall for his smile. It simply didn't reach his eyes like it usually did. Looking at him now, she couldn't remember a time she'd seen him look so tormented.
"What's wrong?" she murmured quietly with dismay. She didn't want to hear the answer. She knew she didn't.
In a moment when all of Freddy's good discernment left him, he answered her...and honestly. "I don't think that I can do this anymore."
The color drained from her face. All expression seemed to leave her. She didn't even look sad...she just looked dead. And it was then, at that moment, when Freddy realized what he'd done. He'd done exactly what Nick had told him not to do: he'd broken her heart.
"You're ending this?" she sounded desperate.
"No." It was the first word he could manage. He knew that somehow he just needed to right his wrongs...somehow. "I just...can't work with this arrangement." Now, he knew, he'd gotten himself into a very difficult situation. He'd told her he didn't like the arrangement they currently had, but didn't want to leave her. And what did that leave them? Marriage.
"What are you saying, Fred?"
He looked hopeless, panicked. And then he put on the best performance of his life. "Will you marry me?"
There was silence as she felt her heart pounding violently against her chest. "Yes!" She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. And in her excitement, she missed the tears running down his face. His own heart had broken.
