Love Menagerie:

Chapter 28: Bide My Time

Nick/Sarah

Sarah looked down at the invitation sitting on her counter. She'd been told of the proposal the night it had taken place, but looking at the invitation to the wedding made it all the more real...and far more depressing. She couldn't betray Freddy's trust, and yet, she felt as though she were betraying Brittany by not telling her best friend the truth. It was terribly difficult to act like she was happy for her friend, excited even, when she knew the truth...that Freddy didn't love her.

Sarah took a deep breath and shoved the invitation into a kitchen drawer. She couldn't look at it any longer; she felt far too guilty. The wedding was in a month and she could only pray for a miracle.

"Sarah," Nick called for her as he made his way down the staircase and into the kitchen, where he found her leaning against the counter, crying. "What is wrong?" he whispered, reaching for her and drawing her into his arms.

Sarah shook against him, her tears darkening his T-shirt as she leaned into him. "How could this happen to us?"

He pulled away from her and held her by the shoulders. And it was then, as their eyes were locked, that they realized the exact impact of Sarah's words. They now understood something about their relationship they'd never known. Sarah had fantasized about being Nick's for so long, she'd compared their relationship to Freddy's and Brittany's so intensely, she'd subconsciously attached the two couples at the hip...and now, as Freddy and Brittany fell apart, she and Nick had to do the same.

"We're not them."

"I know."

"No, you don't. We can make it, even if they can't. We're not them."

"I know."

"Do you?"

Nick looked at Sarah hours later as she lay on her bed, eyes closed and her hair fallen across her face. She looked absolutely wonderful to him and he knew he'd never loved her as much as he did at that moment. He knew how frightened and insecure Sarah had been feeling since finding out about Freddy's lack of romantic feelings for Brittany. He knew Sarah had always viewed Freddy and Brittany as the perfect couple--even he, himself, had felt that way about the two. Yet, the fact that Sarah was doubting their own love frightened him immensely.

He knew they could make it. He had no doubts about that. He and Sarah were not Freddy and Brittany. They were two completely different couples. Their relationships didn't breathe from the same pair of lungs, didn't share a heart; they could exist without one another.

Looking at Sarah sleeping now stirred something in Nick he wondered if he'd ever experienced. He'd never felt so amazed when looking at another. There was something completely awe-inspiring about watching the one you love sleeping. And yet, he couldn't allow her to continue doing so. He had to wake her up and tell her just how madly in love with her he was, assure her that they could last, kiss her and hold her and mollify her fears.

He made his way to her quietly and sat down on the edge of her bed, watching how gently her chest rose and fell with each breath. She stirred as she felt eyes on her. Her own fluttered open and she found Nick watching her intently, a look on his face she'd never seen before.

"What?" Sarah whispered, her voice still hoarse with sleep. She was focusing attentively on the strange look in his eyes when he suddenly leaned forward and placed kisses across her face.

"I love you," Nick spoke against her skin, loving the smile he saw playing across her mouth. "I just needed you to know that. Sarah, I promise you...we will make it."

Sarah nodded as a few tears slid beautifully down her face. "I know, Nicky, I know."

And for the first time, she did.

Freddy/Brittany

Brittany rolled over with a groan. It was absolutely freezing in the room. Fall in Seattle was not always fun. She grabbed the extra blanket at the end of the bed and pulled it up and over her shoulders. "Freddy," she whispered, reaching out and smacking him lightly on the stomach. "Freddy, it's freezing in here."

Freddy groaned and rolled away from her, shivering as his bare feet hit the ground. "I'll go turn the heat up. Just try and get some more sleep."

He watched her smile as he leaned down and kissed her cheek, before she rolled back onto her side and curled into a ball to try and get warm. It was so strange how much he loved her, yet didn't. She was his best friend and he never wanted to lose that--but he wasn't in love with her. How could he stay?

"What about enchiladas?"

"Sure," Brittany smiled. "If it's your night to cook, it better be Spanish food."

"Shut up." Freddy laughed and went to the refrigerator to make sure he had everything he'd need to cook dinner. "I can cook American food."

"Sure, Freddy."

"Macaroni! You know I can make macaroni and cheese."

"I say you don't know how to make macaroni until you can make it from scratch. That Kraft crap doesn't count."

The ringing of the telephone interrupted their exchange and Brittany hopped down from the counter and grabbed the phone from the wall. "Hello? Yes, just a minute, please."

Freddy gave her a quizzical look as he took the phone and covered the mouthpiece with his hand. "Who is it?"

"I think it's Nick."

"Why didn't you say 'hi' then?" he laughed.

"He didn't say 'hi' to me. Maybe he's in a hurry to talk to you. Better hurry up and get on the line...he may die waiting."

He rolled his eyes but couldn't help but laugh. Uncovering the phone, he left the kitchen to take the call in the family room. Brittany stood at the counter, watching the chicken that she'd put on the stove for the enchiladas. There was no noise coming from the family room. If Freddy was still on the phone with Nick, he was being awfully quiet. Deciding she could pick up the phone and tell Nick she wanted to talk to Sarah when he and Freddy were done, she went to the phone in the hallway and picked up the receiver.

"I don't even want to tell her at all anymore. I couldn't stand to break her heart."

Brittany stood there, listening with extreme curiosity. Who was Freddy talking about? What was Freddy talking about? Tell whom, what? She knew she should hang up--this phone call wasn't for her, it wasn't her business--but she couldn't help but hang on the line, waiting for a name to drop, waiting for more information than had already been given.

"You're gonna have to tell her some day, Freddy," Nick said after a moment of silence. "I strongly believe in you waiting until she's had the baby, but you can't live a lie your entire lives. It's not fair to either of you."

Oh my gosh, Brittany thought, her eyes widening. They have to be talking about me. But what in the world is Freddy keeping from me?

"Maybe I'll grow to love her."

And suddenly, it felt as though the floor had fallen out from beneath her, it felt like someone had punched her right in the stomach. All the color had drained from her face, her heart had skipped multiple beats.

"I mean, she's my best friend," Freddy went on, but to Brittany he sounded very far away, very distant...like a far off voice, ripping her life to shreds with its words. Whoever had said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me," had been a complete liar. She would have much rather been stoned to death than have to hear those words fall from Freddy's lips and live to remember it.

"I'm going to marry her," Freddy was saying when Brittany finally came back down to planet earth. "And over time, maybe I'll grow to love her. I've heard of it happening."

She had heard enough. She couldn't continue to listen to him and his hollow confessions. As she quietly hung up the phone and made her way back into the kitchen, she wondered how long he'd felt this way, if he'd ever loved her, if every heartfelt confession he'd made in the past had been a lie. How could she look at him and not think about how he didn't love her? How could she let him hold her, knowing he didn't want to be? How would she let him make love to her on their wedding night, knowing that, to him, she was nothing more than his "best friend?" What terribly hollow words. And yet, how could she leave him, still carrying his child, still madly in love with him and wholly devoted to him?

She knew it was wrong. If it was wrong of him to deceive her, it was wrong for her to do the same. If she knew he wasn't in love with her, she should tell him. But she couldn't. She couldn't bear to let him go.

She'd make it through this. Somehow, both she and her baby would make it...but she knew she needed Freddy to come out alive.