Chapter 31: Melting Away
She must rinse this all away She can't hold him this way She must rinse this all away She can't love him this way
How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see she needs to be held in his arms to be free But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand 'til she knows that the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man
She must rinse this all away She can't hold him this way She must rinse this all away She can't love him this way
And if she runs away she fears she won't be followed What could be worse than leaving something behind And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow it's loneliness she finds ... if only he was mine
She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright for answers to questions that will haunt her tonight
She must rinse him She must rinse him She can't rinse him She can't rinse him She can't, she won't, she must rinse him She can't, she won't, she must rinse him She must rinse this all away She can't hold him this way She must rinse this all away She can't love him this way
-Rinse, by Vanessa Carlton
(CD: Be Not Nobody)
Freddy/Brittany
Brittany looked out over the city from the terrace off of the hotel room. Why had she done it? Why in the world had she gone through with it, knowing the information that she had? Was she crazy? Completely out of her mind? Maybe. Probably. But what she knew was that she couldn't have let him go.
Still, now she was absolutely confused, highly befuddled ... going totally crazy! Why had Freddy begun to tell her the truth but stopped and gone through with the ceremony? They had made eye contact and it had been as though he knew she knew. They shared a knowledge that neither would talk about or confess.
So they were just going to stay married to one another, have their baby, and apparently never talk about the small, minor fact that Freddy no longer loved her.
"Hey, you wanna go get some dinner now? There's that nice restaurant down on the corner that you'll really like." Freddy came out onto the terrace, dressed in explicably pressed khakis and a nice, black T-shirt.
He looked scrumptious. And as she looked at him, Brittany only wished that in his heart their marriage was true. She knew that the only way they were pulling this off was because they were such good friends. Unfortunately, they acted as though they were nothing more. And maybe they really weren't.
"Sure." Brittany smiled and stood from her chair, giving one last look out at the city. "Let me just go get changed really fast."
"Take your time," Freddy said as he followed her back into the hotel suite, taking a seat on the couch in the living room to wait for her.
Nick/Sarah
Nick looked down at the food cooking on the stove. Something just didn't look right. He couldn't do this. Everything was clumped when it should've been smooth and everything that was supposed to be smooth was too smooth.
"Sarah," Nick whined, knowing that if he didn't get her help they would be heading out to McDonald's. And as much as he liked the place, he'd been looking forward to eating a quiet dinner at home with nobody but Sarah.
"Yes, Nick?" Sarah giggled as she came in from the family room to find Nick fretting over a pan of lasagna. "You're interrupting American Idol. Didn't you say you didn't want my help because, and I quote, 'I don't need help ... I can make this on my own, easy'."
Nick sighed dejectedly. "Sorry, baby. I'll figure it out."
"Oh, sweetie," she cooed before planting a kiss to each of his cheeks. "Let's see what we can do here." She turned on the kitchen TV and then leaned over the lasagna. "Hm, I dunno what you did, Nick." She looked up to find him staring at the television in complete horror of the ghastly auditions of American Idol. "Nick ... Nick ..."
"Huh?" Nick broke from his daze and gave one last shudder at the TV screen. "What's the conclusion, Ms. Martinez?"
"That she's dead," Sarah looked back to the lasagna with a sigh.
"Poop. I'm sorry, Sar. I thought I could make it." Nick grabbed the dish from the counter and scooped it into the garbage.
"It's okay. C'mmon, grab the frozen pizza from the freezer. I know you can make that. I have faith in you." Sarah smiled, "But I'll cover the salad."
The rest of the week passed quickly for everyone. Freddy and Brittany came home from their stay at Seattle's Sorrento Hotel, which, regardless of the fact that their marriage was basically a sham, had been absolutely wonderful ... mostly because of the hotel. The hotel was mammoth, beautiful, luxurious, absolutely amazing. And what made Brittany smile the most was the fact that Freddy had done it all for her. It didn't matter that he wasn't in love with her. They loved each other in the deepest way friends could and that was a lot more than Brittany could say for a lot of married couples. Maybe.
As for Nick and Sarah, they had highly enjoyed their time together without anybody else in the house. They would never admit it to their friends, but they were almost sad when Freddy and Brittany came home. Still, they remembered the fact that soon they would be flying back to Florida and they would be all alone for a very long time ... and though they would enjoy it (most of the time) they were suddenly very grateful for the company of their friends. They would miss them.
With the baby due the next day, Derek was flying in from Tampa to be there when his baby sister went into labor. Brittany sighed as she ran around her bedroom, trying to find her purse. She and Freddy had to leave for SeaTac airport in five minutes or they would be late for Derek's arrival.
Freddy rolled his eyes and grabbed her by the shoulders, attempting to stop her search. "Brittany, why don't you just stay here? This is crazy. You could go into labor any minute now; you shouldn't be running around city airports. I'll go get him."
"No, Fred. I haven't seen my brother in forever. I wanna go."
"Britt, I'll have him here in like forty-five minutes, okay? You'll see him soon. You need to just chill here."
"Nooo," Brittany whined softly, tears forming in her eyes.
"Brittany," he narrowed his eyes at her, trying to discern her odd behavior, "what's really goin' on here?"
"I'm scared," she whispered, tugging at his hands. "What if I go into labor and you're not with me? I can't do it alone."
Freddy smiled suddenly and pulled her into his arms, dropping a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Britt, nothing bad is going to happen, okay? I'll be gone for like an hour. If you go into labor, Nick and Sarah will bring you to the hospital and I'll meet up with you there. Nothing's gonna happen, okay?"
She took a deep, shaky breath, trying to calm her nerves. Freddy was right, after all. Nothing was going to happen. It's not like Nick and Sarah had no idea what to do if she went into labor. And she knew that nothing would stop Freddy from being there. "Okay."
"Okay? So you'll stay here?"
She nodded quickly, looking up at him with wide eyes.
"Okay, babe." He smiled and kissed her cheek quickly. "Don't freak out, just stay calm and everything will be all right. Just hold out 'till I get home, okay?"
"Yeah, I'll try."
She watched him leave the room with his car keys in hand and, from the window, saw him get into his car.
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, she repeated in her head like a mantra.
She could do this ... and much more. She was a lot stronger than she thought.
I am cryin' You aren't tryin' I am melting away
If only I could get into that corner of your head Where things finally match and meet the standards that you set Oh how I wish I was the treasure that you were lookin' for Bet I would feel better if only I could find the door
I am cryin' You aren't tryin' I am melting away
I wish for the words on the tip of your tongue I'm only as good as the last one Well you decide and I abide as my song goes unsung (yeah yeah yeah)
Things are goin' crazy and I'm not sure who to blame Everything is changing and I do not feel the same I'm slippin' through the cracks of floors I thought were strong I'm tryin' to find a place where I can feel like I belong
Well I am cryin' You aren't tryin' I am melting away
I wish for the words on the tip of your tongue I'm only as good as the last one Well you decide and I abide as my song goes unsung (yeah yeah yeah)
If I could be the lesson that you learn, you learn If only I could be the last one that love burns, it burns Yeah if only I could get into that corner of your head Where things finally match and meet the standards that you set Oh how I wish I was the treasure that you were lookin' for Bet I would feel better if only I could find the door
Well I am cryin' You aren't tryin' And I am melting away
I wish for the words on the tip of your tongue I'm only as good as the last one Well you decide and I abide as my song goes unsung (yeah yeah yeah)
-Unsung, by Vanessa Carlton
(CD: Be Not Nobody)
