You and your museum of lovers The precious collection you've housed in your covers My simpleness threatened by my own admission
And the bags are much too heavy In my insecure condition My pregnant mind is fat, full with envy again
But I still love to wash in your old bathwater Love to think that you couldn't love another I can't help it... you're my kind of man
Wanted and adored by attractive women Bountiful selection at your discretion I know I'm diving into my own distruction
So why do we choose the boys that are naughty? I don't fit in, so why do you want me? And I know I can't tame you, but I just keep trying
'Cause I still love to wash in your old bathwater Love to think that you couldn't love another I'm on your list with all your other women But I still love to wash in your old bathwater You make me feel like I couldn't love another I can't help it... you're my kind of man
Why do the good girls always want the bad boys?
So I pacify problems with kisses and cuddles Diligently doubtful through all kinds of trouble Then I find myself choking on all my contradictions
'Cause I still love to wash in your old bathwater Love to feel like you couldn't love another Share a toothbrush... you're my kind of man I still love to wash in your old bathwater Make me feel like I couldn't love another I can't help it... you're my kind of man
No, I can't help myself I can't help myself I still love to wash in your old bathwater
-Bathwater, by No Doubt (CD: Return of Saturn) Note: I'm sorry if some of the lyrics are wrong They were taken from some girl's webpage, as opposed to how I usually listen to the songs and get the lyrics for myself
Jenn ran into her house, three days later, feeling as if she was going to throw up... and she knew it wasn't because of her pregnancy. What she'd just seen - Ryan talking to, and hugging, another woman... someone that wasn't her - had made her stomach churn in a way she'd never felt before. It was the type of nausea that was only caused by a broken heart... she'd fallen for him. She'd done the one thing that she'd promised herself she wouldn't do. She'd fallen in love with Ryan Phillippe... world class heart breaker.
~ * ~ Ryan ~ * ~ A few hours later ~ * ~
Ryan walked into his house and grabbed a T-shirt that was draped across the back of the couch, wiping his sweaty forehead off with it. He'd just been shooting hoops with friends and was in major need of a shower. He headed towards the kitchen to get a glass of water, before going up the stairs and into the bathroom.
~ * ~ Jenn ~ * ~
Jenn looked at her phone, before looking back to the book that she was desperately trying to pay attention to. A few seconds later she looked at her phone again. She'd been doing this for the past 20 minutes, trying to conjure up the nerve to actually pick it up and dial his phone number. Finally realizing how dumb she was being, she tossed her non-interesting book onto the coffee table and stood up, walking over to the telephone. She picked it up and pressed speed dial #1.
~ * ~ Ryan ~ * ~
The phone rang five times before the machine picked up...
"Hey, this is Ryan. I'm not here, so leave a message and I'll call you back if I want to."
There was a short beep and Jenn hesitated to talk for a moment, but finally she did. "Ryan... It's Jenn. Um... I don't know if you care or not... but... I just thought you had the right to know that I'm going in for a doctor's appointment tomorrow. It's just a check-up on the baby. Anyways... you can just call me if you want to come, or whatever. I'll talk to you later," her voice grew even softer, "Bye."
~ * ~ Jenn ~ * ~
Jenn hung up the phone and buried her head in her arms, which were resting on the kitchen counter. She hated to admit it, but she missed him. She missed him terribly. She was having mixed feelings about him returning her call. In a way, she wanted him too... she wanted him to come to the appointment, for him to be there for their baby... for him to be there for her. But on the other hand, she wished he wouldn't call back at all... that she wouldn't have to see him, that he could disappear from her life completely... but mostly that she'd be able to forget him. She also knew that wasn't possible.
I'm dreamin' of one kiss from you A love long and true We'll go on and on, yeah...
Yeahh.. Ohh... Yeahh
I don't wanna hear that I'm too young To know it's love that makes me feel this way Cuz I don't hafta feel the heat of the sun To know it's shining on me every day
When it's warm outside And the look in your eyes Is longing to show me the way No, no I don't want to wait
Just one kiss from you And suddenly, yeah I see the road laid out in front of me You give me strength You give me hope And when you hold me in your arms You make me whole And I don't know just what I would do Without one kiss from you
I don't wanna hear my time will come Oh, when it feels like it's already here We should learn to walk before we run But why go anywhere when you're so near
Cuz when I reach out to you So sad and confused And feeling like I could cry You dry my eyes
Just one kiss from you And suddenly, yeah I see the road laid out in front of me You give me strength You give me hope And when you hold me in your arms You make me whole And I don't know just what I would do Without one kiss from you
I'm dreamin' of one kiss from you A love long and true We'll go on and on, yeah...
I'm lookin' for one kiss goodnight To last all my life On and on, yeah...
Just one kiss from you And suddenly, yeahh I see the road laid out in front of me You give me strength You give me hope And when you hold me in your arms You make me whole
Just one kiss from you Yeahh On and on On and on On and on Yeahh
I'm lookin' for one kiss goodnight To last all my life
-One Kiss From You, by Britney Spears (CD: Oops!... I Did It Again)
~ * ~ Ryan ~ * ~
...I know you want to hear me speak But I'm afraid that if I start to I'll never stop
I want you to know You belong in my life I love the hope I see in your eyes For you I would fly At least I would try For you I'll take the last flight out
I cannot hold back the truth no more I let you wait too long (Wait too long) Although it's hard and scares me so A life without you scares me more
Scares me more (Scares me more) Scares me more
Ohh... Ohh... The last flight out
For you I would fly At least I would try For you I'll take the last flight out...
-Last Flight Out, by Plus One (CD: The Promise)
Ryan got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, before shaking his hair to get the excess water from it. He headed down the stairs to make something to eat, and as he was pouring himself a glass of orange juice he noticed the red light blinking on the answering machine. He guzzled the drink before heading towards the machine and pressing the Play button.
"Ryan... It's Jenn. Um... I don't know if you care or not... but... I just thought you had the right to know that I'm going in for a doctor's appointment tomorrow. It's just a check-up on the baby. Anyways... you can just call me if you want to come, or whatever. I'll talk to you later... Bye."
Ryan smiled for the first time in a while. He didn't know if it was at the sound of Jenn's voice, or the fact that she'd just invited him to go with her to their baby's doctor's appointment. But he had a feeling it was a lot of both. There was no way he was passing this oppurtunity up. For the first time in his life his reputation was the last thing on his mind.
~ * ~ Jenn ~ * ~
Jenn was startled awake by the shrill ringing of her bedroom phone. She reached over to the nightstand on the other side of her bed and picked it up, lazily. "Hello?" her groggy voice drifted to the other side.
"Jenn?"
Her eyes quickly opened to their normal, full size and she cleared her throat, trying desperately to get the sleepiness out of her voice. "Ryan??"
"I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?"
Jenn looked over at the clock on her bedside table. 9:00 p.m., it read. She felt pathetic, but lately, due to her pregnancy, she was tired much earlier than normal. "Um, yeah... It's fine though. I'd just been laying down to rest, and I must've fallen asleep. I take it you got my message...?" she asked, skeptically. 'This is where he tells me that he'd never in his life want to go to some 'boring' doctor's appointment and to never call him again, especially concerning his child,' she thought to herself, with a slight frown.
"Yeah, I did."
"Oh okay... Well, it's okay, I totally understand that you wouldn't want-"
"Jenn, I'd love to go," Ryan's voice was softer and more sincere than Jenn had ever heard and his words - with the tone of voice that they were said in - brought tears to her, previously sleep-filled, eyes. "Are you there?" he asked, when she didn't answer for a bit.
"Yeah," she whispered, emotionally.
"Jenn, would you mind if I came over?"
"No, that'd be fine."
"I'll be there in 10."
~ * ~
If I'm not in love with you, What is this I'm going through tonight? And if my heart is lying, Then what should I believe in? Why do I go crazy, Everytime I think about you, baby? Why else do I want you like I do, If I'm not in love with you?
Ohh...
And if I don't need your touch, Why do I miss you so much tonight? If it's just infatuation, Then why is my heart aching to hold you forever, Give a part of me I thought I'd never Give again to someone I could lose, If I'm not in love with you?
Oh, why in every fantasy Do I feel your arms embracing me? Lovers lost in sweet desire Oh, why in dreams do I surrender Like a little baby? Someone help explain this feeling, Someone tell me...
If I'm not in love with you, What is this I'm going through... tonight? And if my heart is lying, Then what should I believe in? Why do I go crazy, Everytime I think about you, baby? Why else do I want you like I do, If I'm not in love with you?
Ohh...
-If I'm Not in Love, by Faith Hill (CD: Breathe)
Exactly 10 minutes later Jenn's doorbell rang, indicating Ryan's nerve-racking arrival. She headed towards the door and opened it, her hand shaking ever-so-slightly. "Hi, come in," she spoke tentatively.
The corners of Ryan's mouth curved up into a small smile, at the sight of her. He stepped inside, closing the door behind himself. Jenn had already begun to walk into the living room, and Ryan followed. Taking a seat next to her on the couch, they sat in silence for a few minutes.
Jenn cleared her throat moments later, "Do you want something to drink?" she started to stand up, when Ryan grabbed her hand, forcing her to sit back down.
"Jenn, how are you feeling? I mean, have you been getting sick 'cause of the pregnancy?"
The sincerity in his voice made Jenn wonder if something was up, "Are you drunk?"
"What?" Ryan laughed. "No!"
She smirked, wondering what else it could possibly be.
"You don't believe me?"
Jenn rolled her eyes, "Why wouldn't I? What reason would I have not to?" sarcasm dripped, good-naturedly, from her voice.
Ryan smiled lightly, "Jenn, I know we didn't exactly get off on the right foot."
"Understatement of the century."
"Could you drop the sarcastic attitude for a moment, please?" he laughed.
She sighed, "Ryan, why are you here? Why are we even having this conversation with each other?"
"You're carrying my child, Jenn."
She gave him a questioning look as if to say 'And your point would be...?'
"You don't really expect us to raise a child without carrying on a conversation, do you?" he smirked effortlessly.
Jenn laughed, "Ryan Phillippe, are you up to something?"
"Geesh, you really don't trust me whatsoever, do you?" he laughed.
"I dunno... Your smirk looked too mischevious."
"Look... we gotta start getting along. None of this off and on stuff any longer."
Jenn sighed and stood up, walking into the kitchen. "Fine... Do you want that drink now?"
He had looked so sexy as he spoke to her that she was afraid if she'd stayed sitting next to him any long she'd jump his fine-ass bones, right then and there.
Ryan got off of the couch and followed her to the kitchen, leaning against the counter and watching her move around the room, making some lemonade. "Is this your way of changing the subject?" he laughed.
Jenn merely shrugged, her back to him. She turned around to walk to the fridge, only to find that Ryan was standing right behind her, as they bumped into one another. "Oh!" she slowly looked up at him, their eyes locking.
"It's okay," Ryan whispered, his face lowering closer to hers.
Jenn's eyes closed, "I didn't say sorry," she breathed.
"I know," the hushed statement escaped his mouth just as their lips connected. Ryan's hands slid around her waist until they met at the small of her back.
Jenn wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
