More Than That: Chapter 8: Could It Be Any Harder

Later that night Leah found herself falling asleep on the couch with Nick. They hadn't talked anymore that day, simply hung out with each other--Leah crying every now and then. She still hadn't told Nick what was wrong--that Freddy had left--and she knew that it was killing him that she wasn't allowing him to help her. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She'd spouted professions of wanting to marry Freddy one day and the fact that he'd just up and left--and it appeared he'd done so easily--embarrassed her. It wasn't something she wanted to share with just anybody. But Nick wasn't just anybody. He was her best friend and it was killing her just as much as him that she wasn't able to tell him what had happened.

"Lee, why don't you just go to bed?" Nick suggested when he saw her head beginning to fall. "Or at least come lay your head down."

Leah sighed and snuggled up to him, falling asleep almost instantaneously. Silence fell back over the house except for the occasional groan as it settled. Nick went back to watching TV, intent on putting all thoughts of what had happened with Leah and Freddy to rest. But fifteen minutes later Leah was calling out Freddy's name as she tossed and turned from an apparent nightmare.

"Lee," Nick whispered as he shook her, trying to wake her.

"Lee, wake up."

With a jump Leah bolted upright, coming mere inches from bashing her head into Nick's. Nick was sitting there patiently, waiting for Leah to calm down, when she finally stopped panting. She felt the sweat dripping as she looked at him--and she knew the nightmare wasn't entirely to blame. He was looking at her so intensely and for a moment Leah though me might kiss her again.

But after a few minutes he spoke and Leah's heart was still beating fast.

"Leah, tell me what happened with Freddy." It was said so sternly her face began to flush.

"I... he..."

"He what? Did he hurt you? Did he touch you, Leah?"

"He left, Nick," Leah began to sob as she buried her head in Nick's shoulder. "He got traded to another team and he just up and left me. Well, he asked me to go with him, but I just couldn't."

She was wailing and crying and Nick could hardly understand her, though he got the gist of it.

"And why didn't you go?" Now Nick's own heart was pounding and even more so at her reply.

"I couldn't leave you, Nick," she spoke incredulously, like he was crazy to think otherwise.

Gosh, he loved her.

Without response, Nick grabbed her up in a feverish hug and squeezed so hard she thought she might burst. But even then, she didn't want him to let her go.

~ * ~

The next day Leah sat in her room drawing, while Nick was down in his studio below the house, recording a few things he'd written over the weekend. Drawing had never been something Leah had found entertaining--she'd always been more of the poem-writing type, but since Freddy had left Leah had been searching for new ways of expressing herself. She'd begun to draw that day in particular in hopes of getting her mind off of Freddy--the constant tears were resulting in a constant headache. Unfortunately, she found herself drawing everything that reminded her of him.

"Gosh, Freddy, you're gone," Leah whispered, dropping her pencil on the desk and standing up from the chair that she'd been sitting at for hours. "You're gone, so why are you still haunting me?"

"Need a break from your strenuous labors?" Nick appeared in the doorway, resulting in a startled jump from Leah.

"Gosh, Nick!" she placed her hand over her heart, standing in the middle of her room, her stance a little on the defensive side. "You scared me to death!"

"Sorry," Nick chuckled at the expression on her face, "I didn't mean to."

"It's all right. Done recording?"

"Yeah actually," he shrugged, stepping farther into the room. "Finished an hour or so ago. I was on the phone with Rok for a while."

"Wow, it's been a long time since I've talked with him."

"Yeah, me too actually."

Leah smiled lightly. She knew he and the Boys were on a small hiatus, though lately they'd been talking about starting a new CD soon.

"Anyway," Nick walked over to her and began to lightly rub her shoulders. "You need to get out of the house--you're all tense. What do you say we go get a bite to eat?" he suggested, hoping to get an enthusiastic response.

"Nah," Leah sighed. "I'm not really hungry. I think I'll just stay here and--"

"And what? Wallow in your own self pity? Leah, you haven't eaten all day!"

"And who are you, Nick?" Leah turned around and looked at him with annoyance. "My father?!"

He looked hurt and Leah knew she'd been unfair.

"No," he mumbled quietly, his hands slowly falling down her arms, "just your best friend who happens to love you very much. But that doesn't count for much now, huh?" He turned to leave, not expecting her to stop him, though wishing she would.

"Nick," Leah grabbed his hand in hers, "I'm sorry."

Nick turned around and their eyes met. He had never felt so close to her in all the time they'd known each other. They'd been through the good and the bad together and although lately there'd seemed to be a lot of the latter, this definently felt very good.

"I love you, Leah, I really do," Nick whispered before impulse took over and he leaned down to kiss her.

And for once Leah didn't pull away, Leah didn't stop him and tell him he didn't love her. For once, Leah kissed him back.

"I can't promise you anything," she whispered between kisses as tears fell from her eyes quickly. And although Nick heard her, the works she spoke didn't register. And if they had, it wouldn't have mattered. He loved her.