Cry Ophelia: The Story

[based on the song by Adam Cohen]

Nick walked aimlessly down the dark street. He felt stupid. He thought he'd be able to make it home without filling up the gas tank in his car. Well, he'd realized he'd been wrong when his car ran out of gas, leaving him stranded in the dark town. It was then he'd realized his cell phone was sitting in a nice location... at home. He'd walk to the grocery store and use a phone there, he'd thought... but then realized that everything was closed. The street lights that dimly lit the sidewalks that he walked only allowed him to the see a few steps in front of him, and then it was dark again until the next light came. Out of boredom he began counting the seconds of darkness before he would reach the next light.

Upon coming to a corner he noticed a few women standing under the street lamp.

"Great," he muttered. "Prostitutes."

Nick had to the pass them to get to where he was going... Wait a minute, he didn't know where he was going. But that's when he noticed the pay phone that stood next to the three women. He walked over to it and dug a few quarters out of his pockets before picking up the receiver. Great... no dial tone. He sighed and put it back on its hook. That had been his last resort.

"You okay?"

Nick turned around to see one of the ladies standing there. "Um, yeah... I'm fine. My car ran out of gas and I left my cell at home."

She nodded, "If you want I could walk you to my apartment... it's just down the street. You could use my phone. As long as they think I'm still 'working' it'll be okay, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah," he coughed, feeling uncomfortable. "Yeah, sure. That would be good. Thanks."

"No problem," she smiled her pretty smile and began to walk down the sidewalk, motioning Nick to follow. "I'm Ophelia. You?"

"Nick."

"You scared of me or something?" Ophelia laughed. "I'm a prostitute... not the Green River killer."

He laughed quietly, looking down as they continued to walk. He didn't really know how to answer that. "Well, they never did find that guy."

"Yeah, yeah." She rolled her eyes. "This is my place." She pointed to the large brick building that they were now standing under. "C'mmon, let's go up."

Nick followed her inside and into the elevator, watching as she swiftly pressed the botton for the 9th floor and then leaned back against the mirrored wall. The ride up was spent in silence, except for the quiet noises that the elevator made, and when it got to the 9th floor Nick jumped at the loud 'ding'.

Ophelia smiled and stepped out, holding the door as Nick quickly followed. She led him to her apartment and unlocked the door, flipping the hallway light on.

By the time Nick had called Brian and asked him to come and pick him up, Ophelia had made him some hot chocolate and was sitting on the couch, with a cup of her own in hand. They sat there, sipping their warm drinks and talking for what felt like hours before Brian finally knocked on the door.

Nick had suddenly gotten bold. Maybe it was the chocolate... he didn't know. But he'd asked her questions he'd never thought of asking somebody before... questions he'd never imagined he would've gotten an answer to. Ophelia, though, seemed like a very open and honest person. And there was something else that he'd sensed from their long conversation: she only wanted someone to listen to her.

Through all of her different life stories she'd had Nick laughing one moment and solemn the next. She'd been through so much in her 22 years, yet stayed so exceptionally optimistic, that he felt so inspired by her inward beauty. And by the time he had to leave she had him wishing he hadn't called Brian at all.

But there was one thing that bothered Nick greatly, and that was, of course, the business that she was in. He knew he would do anything to save Ophelia from the life that she'd felt she had to lead in order to get by. But he also knew that she was exceedingly independant and strong-willed.

~ * ~ The Next Day ~ * ~

He took a deep breath as his hand rose to the door and knocked. One knock, two knock, three knock... I thought prostitutes work at night??

"Hi!" Ophelia said, surprised, as she finally came to the door.

"My gosh, what took you so long?" Nick asked good-naturedly, stepping into her apartment as she gestured for him to do so.

Ophelia smiled, glad he'd come over, even if she hadn't been expecting him. She left his question unanswered while she led him into her kitchen and took two Cokes out of the fridge and poured them into glasses. As she handed him a glass, she asked, "So what brings you here, Nick?"

The care-free smile that had been on Nick's face seemed to disappear slowly as he was forced to grow serious and concentrate on why he'd really gone to her place. He sighed, not knowing how to approach the subject--she was going to think he'd turned psycho... after all, she'd only met him the night before. "Ophelia, I'd like to talk with you about something."

"What's that?" her eyes noticeably averted, before she turned her head away from him completely. Somehow she already knew what was coming.

"I think you should leave the business that you're in," he stated boldly, still trying desperately to not sound judgemental.

Ophelia scoffed. She was so sick of this same overwhelming discussion. "Yeah, who doesn't?"

"Please... Just hear me out."

"Yeah, okay, you've got a minute," she headed into the living room, Nick following.

"Two."

She turned around and looked at him, "Hurry up, I'm counting."

Nick sighed, "Ophelia, why are you being like this??"

"No! Why are you being like this?! You don't even know me and you're already trying to run my life!"

He looked down, trying not to show his pain. A rich silence surrounded them. He'd felt this undescribable feeling that he knew her greatly, and he'd hoped, he'd thought, that she'd felt it too.

Moments ticked by until she spoke again, "Your time's up."

"Ophelia, please! I know that we've only, technically, known each other for not even a full twenty-four hours, but I feel like I've grown to understand and know you better, in those few hours, than anybody else that I've met, in my entire 20 years. I thought you'd felt that, too."

The look in her eyes, at the moment that he'd said that, gave her away, but it vanished as quickly as it'd come, being replaced with the same look of annoyance that had previously been there.

"Ophelia, if you'd let me, I want to help you. You could come live at my house--I have plenty of room there--you'd have your own bedroom and bathroom and I'd stay out of your way... I'd help you pay to go to college... you could really make a career for yourself! Let me take care of you, Ophelia. Please. I can give you such a better life," Nick begged, feeling emotionally drained.

He only wanted her out of the business that she was in. He hated the thought of men degrading her each night, of their perverse hands touching her in places that they didn't belong. He wanted to look out for her, to protect her. He felt so incredibly drawn to her.

"That's not a better life. That's me, relying on a guy, to survive."

"Isn't that better than a new guy, each night, relying on YOU for sex?"

"Y'know what?? I'm sick of depending on someone to get by! For once in my life I'M looking out for myself! I'M making my own money, I'M paying my bills, I'M buying my own groceries, and I'm on my OWN! I like it that way!"

Nick took a deep breath, trying to remain the calmer of the two. "But if you just let me help you for a bit, you can go to college and get a real job and then be on your own forever-"

"Nick, just get out, okay?! You have no right coming here after just meeting me, and telling me how to live my life! Get out!" Ophelia pointed towards the door.

Nick took one last sorrowful look at her, before leaving.

~ * ~

Ophelia woke up the next morning, feeling the same feeling that had nestled itself deep within her since the moment the door had closed behind Nick the day before. She didn't know if it was guilt for not taking him up on an offer that she probably should have, or if it was guilt for having been so cruel to someone whose only wish was to help her. But one thing was for sure: she missed him. And she didn't understand why.

~ * ~

Nick lazily brushed his teeth, his mind on other things. He felt like going to bed, even if he'd just woken up. Why wasn't Ophelia letting him help her? He knew she'd felt the same connection between the two of them.

~ * ~

Nick sighed as he stretched. He and the rest of the Backstreet Boys had been rehearsing for three hours straight. He hadn't been able to get Ophelia off of his mind for a week. And although he hated to admit it, he had a feeling she wasn't going to listen to him if he kept begging her to... so he'd decided to give up. He had no choice.

~ * ~

Ophelia was still crying over Nick a month later. She didn't know what was wrong with her, but no guy had ever been so persistant to take care of her... lovingly, at least. But she'd resisted him, and the day after she couldn't decide if she was upset about that or not, but now she knew... she hated herself for letting him walk out of her life. There'd been this huge connection between the two and he'd wanted to help her get her life on track... she hated herself.

It was late at night--she'd decided not to work that night because she wasn't feeling very well--and she was sitting on her couch in sweats, watching MTV. A Backstreet Boys video came on and Ophelia began to cry as she watched Nick sing. She needed him... she had to find him.

~ * ~

A couple weeks later, Nick was sitting in the recording studio by himself, waiting for the rest of the guys to come back from their 15 minute water/bathroom break.

The receptionist suddenly called into the room through the intercom, "Mr. Carter, there's a young woman here to see you..."

Nick's eyebrows came together in confusion. He had no idea who would be there to see him--especially a girl. He didn't have a girlfriend at the time, but maybe it was one of his sisters or something. He stood up and left the studio, heading out towards the office. His head was down as he walked into the room, but as he looked up his eyes locked with the same eyes that had been haunting his dreams for a month and a half.

"Ophelia," he whispered.

Ophelia smiled gently, "Nick."

She walked towards him slowly, and sighed as his arms wrapped around her tightly a moment later.

~ * ~

Ophelia smiled lovingly at Nick as she awoke to him next to her, a month later. Everything was perfect... she was in love, and Nick was taking care of her wonderfully. And he never complained about it, which was surprising to Ophelia at first, but now she was beginning to get used to it.

Ophelia was also going to college to become a clothing designer, and she was excited about graduating, which she would be doing in another 2 weeks.

In the back of her mind, she had this feeling that something wasn't right. And she had this want to get out on her own... but feeling guilty, she decided not to mention it to Nick.

~ * ~

Nick could sense something was wrong with Ophelia. It had been three months since she'd moved in with him. She'd gone through some college program, which he didn't understand to the full extent, which enabled her to graduate extremely quickly. She'd already graduated and had a small job with a local clothing designing company. But he was getting this feeling that she wasn't exactly happy. He knew he'd told her earlier that once she'd gone through college and had gotten a job she could go out on her own... but he hadn't been expecting, at the time, to fall in love with her so deeply. So he pushed the thought out of his mind and decided not to ask her if there was something wrong... and he prayed that she wouldn't bring it up herself. But it was a couple weeks later, when he felt so horrible for not asking if she was alright, that he finally just blurted it out...

After all, wasn't being in love wanting the other person to be happy, no matter what? Even if you have to let them go. And when she wasn't happy, Nick wasn't happy either.

"Ophelia?" he asked quietly, coming up to her while she worked on sketching a new skirt. She had a good job... but the thing was, the company that she worked for wasn't very popular, so it didn't pay very well, which Nick thought was okay, since he was obviously paid a good chunk of money.

"Yeah, Nicky?" she asked, turning around to look at him.

He decided to just come out and say it, before he lost all of his nerve, "Are you happy here?"

Silence followed and Nick could feel his stomach twisting in knots. A million knots. He'd never felt like throwing up so much in his life.

Ophelia looked down, before bursting into tears. Nick instinctively wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. He may have been about to be left by the one he loved, but he still loved her--he hated to see her hurting.

"Nicky, I love you so much... and I am happy with you... I just..."

Nick didn't know how, but he knew what she was trying to say. She loved him, she was happy with him, but she wasn't happy with her life. Ophelia was a very independent person... Nick had known that from the beginning... and she wasn't used to relying on other people (or at least, she didn't like it), but she'd willingly tried it for him, and she wasn't happy now.

"I understand, sweetie," he whispered, tightening his hold on her. "I really do... I just wish I didn't have to let you go. It's so hard. It's hurts." Tears fell from his eyes.

Ophelia nodded her head quickly, her tears darkening the fabric of his gray t-shirt, "I'll miss you so much, Nicky," she whispered, between sobs.

Nick's throat burned as he tried to hold back his emotion, but it was no use. He began to cry right along with her. He would never hold her again.

~ * ~ Three Years Later ~ * ~

Nick sat in his car in a horrific midday traffic jam. It had been three years since he'd seen or heard from Ophelia and he missed her. Yet after the first year he'd finally stopped moping and had decided to move on with his life... as long as she was safe, he was okay. He'd kept in contact with Ophelia's brother, though she didn't know it, to always know that she was doing all right.

Just as the cars began to move his cell phone rang loudly. Nick sighed and reached over to the passenger seat, picking up his phone.

"Hello??"

"Nick? It's Brandon..."

"Hey, bud. What's up? How's 'Phelia?" Nick asked casually... after all, Brandon had never called with anything bad to say concerning her.

"Nick, uhm... you need to get over here as soon as possible," the unsteady tone in Brandon's voice made Nick uneasy.

Those same knots that had been in Nick's stomach when Ophelia had told him she wasn't happy, began to come back. He felt like throwing up.

"Why? What's wrong? What's going on? Bran, is she okay?!" Nick began to panic, trying to get himself to the right side of the freeway, so he could exit.

"Nick, man, I'll explain everything when you get here. Just please come. Quickly..."

Nick tried not to cry--something wasn't right... obviously, "I'll be right there."

He took the back roads to the airport... he'd have to buy clothes once he got to New York, where Ophelia lived; and he'd have to call the guys on the plane. But right now he had to get to Ophelia... she needed him... and he needed her.

~ * ~ Few Hours Later ~ * ~

Nick sprinted up to Brandon's front door, ringing the bell repeatedly. Brandon opened the door hurriedly and rushed outside, pulling Nick along with him.

"Where are we going? Where's 'Phelia??" Nick asked quickly while jumping into the passenger side of Brandon's truck.

"The hospital, Nick. I... I need to tell you some stuff," Brandon reversed from his driveway, beginning to head down the road.

Nick gulped as he leaned back in his seat, tears forming in his eyes, "Yeah?"

"I, um... Well, 'Phelia didn't want you knowing, she doesn't even know that I talk to you anymore... but I know how much you love her, so I didn't think it was right to not tell you to come to New York. Nick, Ophelia's dying of AIDS."

~ * ~ Hours Later ~ * ~

"Ophelia," Nick began quietly, while holding her hand. Ophelia was asleep in her hospital bed... she looked so sick... so pale. "Gosh, I don't even know how to talk to you," tears fell down his face as he buried it in her hand. She smelled like hospital beds... this wasn't the woman he'd once known. How could this be happening? "I love you so much," he whispered, so quiet... yet it woke her up.

Ophelia opened her eyes tiredly, blinking repeatedly against the lights. She looked down, expecting to see her brother holding her hand, but it was a blonde head of hair that met her eyes. She hadn't seen 'that blonde head of hair' in three years. "Nick??" she croaked, almost silently.

Nick heard her and looked up, his eyes meeting hers. Time seemed to stop for a moment, and Nick felt like he was having déjá vu of when she'd come to him in the recording studio all those years ago. Flashbacks of their past together began to flow through his mind so fast he began to feel dizzy. "Yeah, I'm here..."

"How? How did this happen?" she began to cry. "How did you know? I didn't think you'd come... I didn't even think you knew."

"I didn't..." Nick looked down, playing with the blanket that lay on her hard hospital bed. "...until today. Why didn't you tell me?" he looked back up at her. "I-I would have been here with you this whole time... I've missed you so much, you can't leave me!"

Ophelia wrapped her weak arms around him. She didn't have very much strength. "I love you, Nick... please just know that. I'm so sorry... I don't know what else to say."

"I love you too, Ophelia."

Ophelia began to cry quietly... and Nick cried with her. Just like he had the first time she'd left him.

~ * ~ A Month Later ~ * ~

Nick walked through the streets of New York a month later. He still couldn't bring himself to leave the city... even if all the rest of the Backstreet Boys were trying desperately to get him to come back. But how could he? Ophelia was in New York... not in Tampa, not in Florida... she was in New York. Even if all he had of her in New York were memories--which was exactly what he had of her in Florida--he still couldn't leave. He felt her presence in New York... he doubted he'd feel her at home. This was where she had been happy. This place had been hers.

Nick found himself standing in front of the cemetary where Ophelia had been buried, after wandering around for nearly two hours. He always ended up there. Always.

Walking slowly towards her burial place, Nick began to notice how cold New York really was in January. He pulled his jacket tighter around his body as he knelt down before her grave. He placed his hand on the freezing cold headstone, wiping the snow from the top of it. There were flowers at the base of the headstone... some from him, some from her brother... but they were all dying.

"I miss you," Nick whispered, sitting back on his heels. He didn't know what more to say. "You know I love you, right, babygirl?" A cold wind blew across his face, making a small smile form on his lips. "Of course you do."

He stood up, knelt down, and kissed the top of her headstone...

Ophelia Renee Williams

Loved, Adored, and Treasured

You'll be in our hearts forever

"Forever," Nick whispered with a sigh as he unlatched his necklace, kissing it gently before placing it by the dying roses... He had to go home.

~ * ~ The Next Night ~ * ~

Nick placed his bags down by the front door, promising himself he'd unpack in the morning. At that moment, he just wanted to go upstairs and curl up in his bed. He hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in a little over a month.

As he walked down the hallway, a light breeze suddenly blew over his body. He stopped walking mid-step, his eyes wide. It was then that he noticed he was standing in front of the air conditioning vent. Nick sighed, "I thought I told Brian to turn that off for me..."

He began to walk up the staircase, and as he walked by the air conditioning system, he noticed that it read 'Off'. Slowly, a grin appeared on Nick's face.

It wasn't that her presence had been in New York... her presence was with him.

The End